Tickets To Paradise - My Personal Review

well i am a lil bit bias coz i love  both of them. i have not been being myself lately. and somehow just now i just found this movie just added into my netflix. so i thought why not. it was about parents and their only daughter who somehow after graduation did the same thing like what they did when they were young ie got married early and i guess too young to understand what marriage is all about. 

what i love about the movie is the scenery -  it was in Bali and i really miss travelling. circumstances made me end up like where i ended up now. i miss being anywhere near the sea. i felt like i am being deprived with from what i enjoy most. *sigh* 

i miss travelling really bad. i wanna be able to do that soon - real soon please. ooh i have deviated from the original post. 

well, okay, the story is about a parent who was trying to ruin their daughter's wedding because they feel that their daughter is making a mistake. one thing that parents should not be doing is to mess with their children's life. let them make their own decision and face their own mistakes. let them learn themselves. stop making decision for them - stop interfering in their life(s).

i love this movie, love the actors and actresses and just love these kind of love stories, and family. go watch it on netflix while it is still there.

Remember The Beautiful Memories

Said the Mermaid to a Mom when she saw her crying. She was sad. Remembering her lost daughter, who died in a surgery.

Do you know I have a secret? I can make you forget your memories about your daughter, if it makes you sad.

The Mom closed her eyes, together with the Mermaid and all the Mom sees as she closed her eyes were all the beautiful memories of her daughter.

So The Mom said, "No, I don't want to erase my memories even if it makes me sad. That is the only way for her to know that I love her, by having the memories"

As for me, I face so much challenges when it comes to my own children. I get hurt so much because they hated their childhood and blame me for having unhappy childhood. When being a single parent then, I thought I have made the best decision, and yet it is never enough.

Like the Mom, I only want to remember the beautiful memories being with my kids when they were much younger. The memories when I thought they enjoyed those moments creating memories with me...

Visiting Joey

21 Sept 2020: benda kalau plan susah nak jadi. but this time, my mom terus tanya dalam family chat group. my parents memang dah lama asyik tanya pasal joey je. rindu katanya. ye lah, joey ni sejak kerja kat cafe kat cyberjaya ni memang sangat jarang dia balik. dah kerja 5pm every day. camna? 

so that day aku terus bagitau aku pun nak ikut sementara ada orang nak drive ke sana. and hari tu jugak while N3 ada urusan somewhere near my house, aku pun ikut lah dia balik ke rumah. plannya lepas ambik Zharee kitorang pergi but then again sebab sekarang maghrib kan awal, my parents prefer lepas solat maghrib. bagus jugak sebab nowadays singgah surau public pun tak ada telekung disediakan disebabkan sop covid ni.

gitu gini 8 lebih jugak kitorang sampai. ambik joey kat apartment dia and terus bawa ke tamarind square for dinner. we had dinner kat 10 grams. tak de mood nak review pasal restaurant tu hari ni. next time la ya. so all of us makan western and the portion banyak jugak. yaya macam terkesima tengok joey. agaknya sebab dia lelaki and simpan rambut panjang. ahhahaha 😂 sure confuse budak tu. 

aku tak puas sebenarnya jumpa joey sekejap2 macam tu. tak dapat nak borak sangat. setakat aku tanya pasal his classes and also his work & how he is doing. ayah aku happy jumpa joey. macam2 soalan dia tanya. both my dad and mom macam tak puas hati sebab joey lama tak balik kut. 😋

tapi aku jenis parents yang lain. aku kena accept anak2 aku dah besar panjang and have their own preference. and i keep on telling myself, bukan anak2 tak sayang but they are young adult now. and this makes me think, i understand how my parents feel and kalau boleh memang aku nak spend more time dengan diorang - while they are still around. aku faham apa yang parents aku rasa sebab macam ni lah aku rasa bila anak2 tak ada di rumah. bezanya, mama ada ayah... tapi aku, AH jarang ada kat rumah sebab bertugas. #bertabahlah

malam tu joey kena balik around 10pm sebab dia nak tumpang housemate dia balik coz kunci rumah dengan dia katanya. and hujan. so memang kejap sangat rasanya. jadi lah buat ubat rindu. 

Apr 6, 2020

don't ask me what day is it already to be home. i have lost count of the day. the only days that i am counting right now are the days that i can be in contact again with AH. he is away at work on a special mission. selalu kalau AH berlayar pun tak de la lama macam ni. paling2 pun rasanya 9 hari kut. itu pun in between days dapat jugak line sebab maybe kapal dia ronda dekat dengan pantai. so dapat la hilang rindu, kan. 

tapi kali ni memang lama, sebulan lebih. ko rasa? haaa... kan.. dah la baru kawen katanya 😋 tettt... ihik... sabar sabar.. bukan apa. he was at rumah atas angin since 17 mac, sebab masa tu aku breakdown teruk. ye la.. sedih tu tak lah sangat pasal banyak changes kena buat pasal wedding kitorang. aku lebih sedih bila darah daging sendiri cakap tak kira perasaan aku and tuduh aku macam2. so aku nak ngadu kat sape kesedihan aku kan. kat AH la.. and then knowing AH, dia tak boleh kalau dengar or tahu aku sedih sangat. so aku rasa hari isnin malam, 16th tu dia dah turun KL tapi lewat and he booked a hotel near rumah aku. part macam ni la aku appreciate sangat AH coz he is sensitive about what i am feeling or most of the time dia boleh rasa apa yang aku rasa walaupun aku cuba jugak nak hide dari dia sebab tak nak lah kang dia ingat aku mengada2. kan? hehehe 😁but on a serious note aku memang sedih tahap gaban masa tuh. aku type ni pun tersedu2 dok ingat. 

anyway, semalam whole day aku dapat la hantar2 message kat AH. memang rasa tenang and happy je. and we video called for an hour. dok borak2, and sebab macam baru sangatkan, macam tak percaya pun ada jugak that akhirnya Allah tunaikan doa kami to be husband and wife. alhamdulillah syukur sangat and insyaallah we will be the best spouse to each other - before that, we must build a better and stronger relationship with Allah swt, our Creator. insyaallah

so bila sampai time malam, time dia ada kerja, aku pun sambung buat kerja aku.. and one thing about mature relationship, we understand each other's responsibilities. so tak de la nak merengek2 kalau any one of us busy for each other. and we both understand that no matter what, insyallah we still think of each other. 

aku teringat time AH ada kat rumah and Joey pun kat rumah, seboleh2nya aku ajak semua solat jemaah sama2. insyallah one fine day Lisa will join too. Ibu rajin tanya kalau anak2 aku terima AH dalam our life live. All i can say is, i have understanding children, and plus masing2 dah besar, they will eventually leave me to have their own family. except that joey selalu ingatkan aku, "kan Joey dah bagitau mama, joey akan jaga mama" yes, i have a sweet son lik-dat 😀. insyaallah semoga ada yang jaga aku nanti - bukan berharap tapi berdoa the best for all of us. pasal penerimaan Lisa, aku tak boleh nak jawab on behalf of her. i would understand kalau dia rasa awkward cuma aku selalu berdoa kat Allah supaya satukan hati kami semua sekeluarga. and Joey pun selalu cakap dengan aku, "kenapa kita kena biarkan perkara2 lama menghantui hidup kita & mengganggu proses kita untuk kehidupan baru and move on" a mature thinking for someone his age. and this is my principle for a long time. bukan aku tak ambik kisah perasaan orang lain. but at times, macamana kita explain pun - people will accept what they want to think. 

AH i miss you so much.. but sempat lah dia whatsapp kan gambar2 kitorang sama2 yang aku pun tak ingat bila dia snap.. hahaha 😁🙈we didn't really get to say goodbye before your vessel went on the move again. i will always pray for your safety and your team. love you 😘

what is Fibromyalgia

i have been taking painkillers for the past about 2 months. bila habis je pi clinic, habis je pi clinic. until aku rasa this is too much. takkan hidup aku nak bergantung dengan pain killers je. dah la aku ni tak rajin minum air. kesian kidney aku kena berkerja keras kan. takut ni sebenarnya. so akhirnya, dr t refer aku kat specialist kat pcmc. bukan apa, record aku dah berlapis2 kat pcmc tu, kalau aku pi hospital lain, jenuh pulak nak explain dari a sampai z kan... 

apa yang aku sebenarnya rasa? setiap joints aku ketat and sakit bila nak diluruskan. bila aku baring mengereng time tido, nak ubah position takes time sebab aku rasa seluruh badan aku kejang. for me to turun sujud sakit joints aku. bila pagi2 aku nak jijak kaki ke lantai tumit aku rasa tajam and i will be wearing my bedroom slippers. jari2 tangan aku sakit sampai nak genggam pun payah. 

so, bila sampai harinya untuk appointment, dr r pun tanya lah aku how i feel and how long i have been feeling all the pain. and she did some physical examination as well. for now,  she diagnosed me for having Fibromylagia. what is that?  in summary:

Fibromyalgia syndrome (or FMS) is a life-changing illness that causes pain in the entire body. Patients also frequently experience general exhaustion, and their run-down condition only worsens because it is difficult for them to get a good night's sleep. They may often have stiff muscles and frequent headaches. Besides these challenging physical symptoms, FMS also affects mental abilities by impairing memory and concentration. Although there is no known cure, there are some practical ways to reduce the severity of various symptoms.

and the symptoms are as shown below and the ones in ✓ yang memang aku kena for the past 2 months. 

Common Symptoms and Related Conditions

Many people with fibro -- also called fibromyalgia syndrome or FMS -- may have:

• Pain and tender points ✓
• Fatigue ✓
• Sleep problems ✓
• Concentration and memory problems, known as "fibro fog"
• Anxiety or depression 
• Morning stiffness ✓
• Numbness, and tingling in hands, arms, feet, and legs ✓
• Headaches ✓
• Irritable bowel syndrome
• Problems with urinating
• Painful menstrual cramps

So sekarang ni i am on medication and also physio treatment kat PCMC. and when dr r tanya if there is something bothering me or what have been bothering me, aku tak rasa benda tu critical sangat. but according to her, memang aku rasa tak ada apa2 tapi my subconscious mind is thinking and my brain is not resting in how it should be. 

so what is bothering me actually? since aku pun tak kenal korang yang baca, i would just write them all here according to how much i have been thinking about it, mana lah tahu mungkin ini boleh melegakan. 

1. the date of my wedding next year 😛 ye, aku tahu it is going to be next year tapi AH kata end of next year - gosh ini mengstresskan aku banget sih coz lambat nya ... huk hukk 😥. and selagi aku tak tahu exact date, susah aku nak buat plan coz to have a wedding bukan kerja overnight. banyak yang kena nak source out. 
2. my daughter feels someone else gives her more comfort than me - ok this really sucks and made me feel i am a hopeless mom walaupun aku dah buat sehabis baik untuk anak2 aku. aku tak perfect in fact no one is but... 
3. how do i go to my daughter's graduation when i don't feel like my daughter actually needs me to be there coz she has someone else whom she always consult with and be comfortable with?
4. the person whom my daughter has been talking to now is the person who took her dad away from her - and she forgives her just like that? yang ni meh aku bagi disclaimer, aku tak benci dia tetapi aku tak rasa she is a victim of circumstances yang dia cuba nak cerita kat anak2 aku. kemon la, that time you were 22 takkan ko tak boleh fikir apa yang sepatutnya ko buat bila ko tau lelaki yang ko date tu suami orang?? gosh this is so throwback and i hate it. it has been 15 years ago and i have put it behind me. tapi bila darah daging ko lebih percayakan orang lain selain daripada ibu dia sendiri - ko rasa?
5. the possibility of not having baby with AH - oh well.. rezeki tu Allah yang bagi..  and we have been to the doctor together and for us to have a baby memang high risk. so we both resort to, tak apa lah.. and AH ckp dia redha kalau ini takdir untuknya. memang aku sebak siot.. but.. maybe insyaallah rezeki aku dengan AH in the future is different.

for item (2) tu actually i have sort of find or try to find peace with myself and accepting it as a phase and i will just let my daughter do what she is most comfortable doing. but only Allah swt yang tahu betapa rindunya aku nak borak2 dengan anak aku macam dulu. alhamdulillah my son now is so mature that we can talk better than before. tuduhan N4 to what my action is lagi kejam, dia tak rasa lagi... tunggu la bila Idz dah besar esok, tak tau apa pulak Idz akan buat. as a mom memang la agaknya otak aku tak berhenti berfikir, kat mana salah aku? is it because i married kaiser? bukan kah itu jodoh namanya, and kalau aku tahu my marriage would get my children to suffer - demi Allah aku takkan kahwin time tu. 

during the consultation with dr r, she mentioned that, for this syndrome, 

• medication 30%, 
• physio 50% and 
• cognitive behavior treatment 20%

so, yeah... hendak tak nak, aku kena gak pi counseling, katanya. hmmm entah lah.. tapi sekarang ni aku dah start physio and off pain killer.. cuma boleh makan malam jer... sakitnya... lisa tanya jugak if i am ok macam pagi ni... tapi aku tak de hati nak update sebab aku kecik hati. kalau apa2 jadi pun at least joey tau. 😥

ye, every inch of my body sakit.. seriously 😭

Welcome to Uni Life

i still prefer his hair botak 😀
all the best adik... belajar rajin2 okay. 

The day has come that now, my son is registering for his Degree progamme. rasa macam cepat sangat masa berlalu. i always have confidence and faith in my 2 kids. alhamdulillah, they grow up to be good children - challenges in bringing them up and understanding them tu perkara biasa. each time aku ada challenge, i will look back at my own childhood. was i like that before? sebab orang tua2 kata, anak2 kita sedikit sebanyak akan ambik perangai kita jugak. i always pray to Allah that apa2 pun yang turun kat anak2 aku, biarlah benda2 yang baik2 jer. 

joey dalam part senyap dia, memberontak dia, cara study dia, memang banyak ikut aku. aku tau dia bijak (macam aku 😜 #silajanganmuntah) tapi sikap malas tu kuat masa dia kat high school, atau mungkin he has internal issues yang time tu aku pun susah nak get to him. and lagi satu ikut perangai aku adalah --> selalu buat last minute. adehhh... but anyhow, alhamdulillah since dia dah masuk college for his foundation last year, memang banyak sangat improvement in terms of his studies. and aku selalu doa supaya anak2 aku jadi anak2 yang soleh and solehah, and cemerlang in their studies supaya berguna di dunia and akhirat. aamiin... 

last weekend AH balik KL and memang dah bagitahu dia yang aku akan busy dengan registration joey and also wedding one of my staff kat office. so, dia kena ikut je lah activity aku tu. well, kalau ada anak macam ni lah kan, so consider it practise. tetttt.. 😜 

we arrived at Cyber Uni dalam pukul 11am. amazed jugak joey dah sampai awal2. sangat bagus perubahan anak teruna aku ni. semoga istiqomah, orang kata ekk.. so, my task was just to sign off on his registration. and comment yang aku terima, 

reg: ini mama ilham ke?

joey: ya

reg: mudanya nampak mama ilham

me: **senyum je** thank you

reg: anak sulung puan ke?

me: tak, ini anak bongsu

reg: owhh.. muda nampak..

time ni nak je aku bagitau - nak nampak muda, amalkan lah ageLOC! 😎

anyway, dah settle tu, kitorang went to the hall and dengar welcome speech and after that joey ajak pergi lunch kat alcea cafe where he used to work masa habis foundation. sekarang stop kejap to settle for his classes dulu. mula2 aku masuk kat cafe tu memang terpegun sebab cantik decor dia, and memang taste aku lah. kalau nak tau review cafe ni, korang boleh baca my posting on review ya. 

time ni tengah layan briefing

dah habis makan, we proceed to the wedding pulak. sekarang ni macam2 tempat orang buat wedding. and this place aqua hall kat bangi, kalau tak sebab wedding Z, aku pun tak tau wujudnya tempat ni. meriah betul wedding dia, siap ada performance and the emcee pun pot pet celoteh dia. start lah aku berangan, tapi aku rasa wedding aku nanti tak la besar macam tu... kecil kecilan je dah lah... cheywahh 😎 and disebabkan aku dah lunch kat cafe tadi, bila sampai kat tempat wedding, kitorang jamah dessert sahaja. sedap pulak bubur kacang hitam tu... sluurpp.. 

dah settle with joey's registration and wedding, next kita pergi dengar talk on business and ho wto earn passive income pulak and this time brought to us by Dr Sugeng, a successful entrepreneur from Pekan Baru, Indonesia. till my next posting okay! 

Alhamdulillah Another Year Wiser

count your blessings, orang kata. MrH awal2 dah bagitau, dia akan balik KL minggu birthday aku. which at that point of time, honestly aku tak rasa apa2. rindu MrH tu memang routine aku, cuma maksud aku, aku tak rasa pun birthday aku is an important date for me. mungkin sebab aku frust aku tak dapat fly ke USA on the date yang sepatutnya aku fly. 

MrH tanya aku banyak kali:

• aku nak makan apa? 
• aku nak buat apa? 
• aku nak pergi mana? 

and aku masih tak de jawapan yang konkrit. sabar sungguh dia dengan aku. memang aku tengah moody pun. sorry MrH, aku masih sedih dengan penangan anak2 since last week. but MrH tu sabar je dengan aku..and aku rasa syukur sangat to have him around. ni lah yang kita selalu dengar, Allah swt punya perancangan tu memang tepat pada masanya. Allah swt pun tau yang anak2 semakin membesar, they will have their own plans. memang la aku sangat tak sangka yang Joey akan ignore aku sampai macam ni sekali. keras betul hati dia and memang membuatkan aku tertanya2, marah sangat ke dia dengan aku? part mana yang aku buat salah dengan dia? jangan sampai jadi insiden masa dia shut us all out macam masa dia form 2 or 3 sudah.. and to regret 2 years later, tak de gunanya. sebab we cannot change the history, we can only learn from it. and i hope and pray that he will not have to go through another regret in his life - ubah lah.. dengar lah nasihat orang yang lebih tua. 

on my birthday eve, tetiba aku terasa nak makan western, so aku bagitau MrH ada 1 western restaurant yang sedap and reasonable harganya. so aku pun buka lah offer kat whatsapp group kalamsclan. and that night, just me & MrH, mama, ayah and mahsuri clan.. wahh dah ada mahsuri clan.. hehehe 😁

elok je diorang sampai kat venue - dah totop rupanya restaurant tu. tak pe lah tak de rezeki.. and aku pun terus teringat kat TheGarageKL, along MRR2 highway. untung2 ada orang main music nanti, and yey.. ada busker malam tu. we had good food, good company, and kids enjoyed themselves playing buih sabun. aku pun happy tapi masih terasa that emptiness and sebak. apa2 pun aku sentiasa doakan anak2 aku di dalam perlindunganNya.

YaYa ni memang sentiasa melekat dengan MrH!

YaYa she cheered up my night 

he is 16!

to my dearest joey

you are always in my prayers, may you be a success in whatever that you dream for... be a soleh son, be a good man, and as i have mentioned, be a good responsible man in future. study smart & take care.. :) mama will love you always!

we had a simple birthday dinner at Chillis, KLCC with joey's request not to have any cake or dessert with people singing happy birthday :D what laaa... my birthday present for him was the present that he already bought in london... hahaha :D and kaiser bought for him an expensive supplement for his preparation for his training.

lovin our unique family :)

 

mama sedih

i have a lot of things to share in my blog with regards to my weekend activities. but what happened this morning beats any other stories that i feel like sharing. not writing this to disgrace joey but i want him to know that this is how i feel as a mom, if ever i deserved to be called and treated as one - by him.

 

mama sedih bila joey tengking mama dalam lift pagi tadi, when i asked a simple question like any other mom would do who cares about her son. perhaps i dont even have to finish that last sentence coz most kids, maybe you too take it for granted that every mom should care for her children. mama tanya joey if you have taken your meds and the answer that i got was "i am MAD at you!!" and yang paling mama sedih bila joey tengking mama macam mama ni bukan mama joey. 

joey marah sebab hari ni mama lambat hantar joey. joey marah mama macam mama ni kucing kurap tepi jalan yang joey boleh sepak2 bila bila masa joey nak. ya, macam tu lah joey buat mama rasa... macam mama ni supir joey yang joey tak perlu nak hormat bila bercakap dengan mama. or.. oh yea... mama masih ingat few months back joey pernah kata pada mama, "i have lost respect for you". hati mama remuk, Allah je yang tau.

mama takkan tanya apa salah mama anak mama buat mama macam ni. joey baru 15 tahun, joey belum start kerja, joey belum pegang duit sendiri, joey dah treat mama macam ni. kut ya pun joey nak marah sebab lambat hantar pergi sekolah, tak boleh ke joey cakap elok2... ini mama joey tau... mama tak nak anak mama tanggung dosa besar sebab tinggikan suara pada mama. 

dulu kalau lisa lambat tiap2 hari sebab joey... sampai tak larat dah mama nak marah... lisa sampai dah banyak kena demerit, joey buat tak kisah jer. joey tak fikir pun pasal orang lain. joey ikut suka hati lemau joey sendiri. 

mama cuma nak ingatkan joey, jangan sampai satu hari, ayat joey yang terakhir pada mama adalah ayat joey yang paling joey akan kesal sampai akhirat. joey boleh la anggap mama ni ego ke.. mama ni tak cukup bagus ke.. mama ni tak macam seorang ibu buat joey... tapi mama ni lah yang jaga joey... yang pujuk joey sejak daddy tinggalkan joey.. sejak daddy abaikan joey... tapi ada joey kisah semua tu? ooh tak apa... itu semua joey akan cakap, that is my responsibility as a mother - jangan nak ungkit. memang semua tu tanggungjawab mama.. and mama nak anak2 mama rasa happy and selesa bila daddy left us - tapi hati ibu mana tak sebak dan meruntun bila anak2 dah besar, ini yang mama dapat. mama sedih joey... mama sangat sedih.. and i am typing this with the hope that i will feel better... but my tears keeps on berkumpul tunggu mengalir jer...  tarik nafas pun tersangkut2... tapi ada joey terfikir semua tu? kadang2 mama terfikir, tak de ke sedikit pun rasa kesal dalam hati joey bila joey bercakap dengan mama macam tu? **sigh**

what's the best investment for your kids?

kenapa joey tanya soalan pelik balik sekolah tadi?
joey: mama ada invest apa2 tak under nama joey atau lisa?
me: ada kenapa?
joey: tak la joey tanya je
me: invest macamana? untuk apa?
joey: nanti kalau joey tak de duit ke..
me: la, kalau tak de duit mintak la dgn mama.
joey: tak la.. nanti kalau dah besar tak dpt kerja ke.
me: joey belajar la rajin2, dpt kerja.
joey: ye la.. mama tak de ke invest beli gold ke apa ke?
me: ada la tapi belum tulis wasiat lagi. apsal joey tanya macam ni?
joey: tak de pa per lah.. tanya je.. bye love you too..
me: *puzzled* ermm bye.. love you. — feeling puzzled.

joey will have all sorts of questions for me at times. and he doesn't talk much.. maybe it's a boy thingy that he doesn't talk that much now with me? :( 

anyway, told hime before he goes to sleep, that my best investment for my kids are their studies, knowledge. no matter how much cash or assets you have, when you use it bit by bit, it will be gone. but if you have knowledge, no one can take it away from you :)

 

alhamdulillah - upsr result is out

joey was so calm before the day that the result was going to be announced. i don't know what's in his mind. told him to prepare the school uniform on the night before so that we don't rush. told him to call his dad.. hmm itu pun nak kena ingatkan.. and he didn't know what to say... aparaa... that morning we went for breakfast first at diva restaurant, setiawangsa. by 930am, we arrived at joey's school. it was raining. we dropped joey off first because we need to find a parking spot.

as we were walking into joey's school compound
lisa: ma, i don't know how you really feel inside but you looked really composed. i don't know if you manage it well or you are calm.
me: well, i don't know how i feel actually but i think, by all those nightmares that i have, it shows subconsciously how i feel? *giggle*
lisa: hehehe *giggle*

and we walked, hand in hand to the school :)

i was very very nervous, that i can hear my own heartbeat. lisa was next beside me... i held her hand.. she was so relaxed.. first the teacher informed us, how many students got 4As and how many achieved 5As. they announced the 1st student who got 4As... and my tears came running down, it was joey's best friend. when they are done with the 4As, i was still nervous. not that i don't have the confidence with my son's ability. it is just that he has been asking me if he gets 4As or 3As... errmmm...

one by one was called...and suddenly...'ilham jauhari b mohd kamal'!!! i was like "alhamdulillah... alhamdulillah!!" and i cried again... heheheh :D and i hugged lisa beside me... my dad was happy too, seated 1 seat next to me. i went to joey... and as usual, he doesn't hug me back... :P control macho lah tu kan... menci!

next was to bbm and sms... my mom and sisters... :)

me and my son :) hehhe :D happy nya!!

lisa & joey :)

KFC - atok ajak after the result to celebrate :)

joey and his daddy :) sengih je bapak dia nih...

breaking dawn - part II

lisa: ma, during PMR, 2 weeks is so fast... but now, to wait for this, it feels soooooo long!

me: hehehe :D macam orang bercinta lah kan... 

lisa: hehehe :D

we both are hooked on this... i guess we both can watch the earlier series over and over again till kaiser gets bored...ermm like we care?? :p lisa is in love with edward again... and whoever that she has a crush on now does not matter anymore... it is just edward... :)

showing on 22nd november 2012

hotel transylvania - my personal review

joey has been wanting to watch this movie. well ummm... i am not so much a movie/cinema fan... normally i would ask joey or lisa to go with their dad. but currently their dad is sort of neglecting them. yeahh... it is harsh but there is no better way to say it. i am just tired of telling him to see his children. truth is, no matter how hard kaiser is, he cares about joelis. at times even more than joelis' own flesh and blood... ahhh tired of this bull%$#7... 

back to the movie story, anyway, it was a good decision made.. that i watched the movie with joey :) i was extremely tired after a long day at the office, and workout after that... but hey... when i thought i was going to fall asleep, i did not! :D in fact i enjoyed the movie with joey :)

psstt... at first i was having this panic attack... where my heart beat so fast... because of all the creatures in the movie... sshhh... yeah i have issues with weird and huge creatures.. somehow, few minutes after that, i kinda enjoy it... it was funny... and the funny part... when everybody laughs, i just smiled.. and there was 1 part when the cinema was quiet, it was just me laughing... ermm... do i understand the joke differently? :p

i like the part where they say, dracula will say "bleh..bleh..blehh" at the end of a conversation.... hahaha LOL :D just cannot imagine edward cullen were to say that? :p muaahahaha side tracked :p and mavis, the dracula's daughter, she's cute :) 

staying somewhere near the cinema is pretty cool too... we walked down... and up :) an extra exercise for me.. and i thought i was gonna leave my legs behind!! arghhh...

it was a great bonding time with joey :)

lisa's special time

somehow lisa requested that i take leave while she sits for her PMR. since i do have a few days leave for this year, i took a few days off... but i still come to the office half of the day in the morning. still have some things to get done. bla bla bla... something that i have not thought that i would do. i kinda enjoy it. in the morning i go to the office and lunch time, i will be at the school to be with her. not that we do things together pun. she will be there, in front of me, studying with her friends. 4 mommies, including me, chit chat.. heheh :D not bad lah... then while she sits for her exam, i will be at the surau, praying. hmmm.. confession, this year, i performed solat hajat the most.. heheehe #achievement. alhamdulillah and may i get to do more in future, insyaAllah. one more day to go and Lisa can partayyy!! yey... and so can mommy... hahha :D

daddy where are you?

something that i am tired of doing... reminding my ex-husband that he has 2 other kids who still needs his attention. his love. his moral support. anyway, been living with him for about 9 years before our separation in 2005, i knew him well enough. at least his character that he did not hide from me. errmmm.. okay let's not go back there, to the history. i believe as a dad, he loves his kids, but he just doesn't know how to express them. so, each time, i had to remind him. not only after my divorce. even before. and now by being far, i supposed it is getting tougher to remind him. 

today is already the 3rd day of PMR, and i have been asking Lisa if her dad called her to at least wish her all the best. Lisa just shook her head left and right... hmmm... after the end of the 1st day, i smsed him. i just couldn't stand it. oh come on.... is it too difficult for an sms? for an email? or even a tweet?

lisa: it's okay ma, mama tak payah lah sms daddy... i am okay.. really...

as a mom, won't you feel sad? D, just remember, it is over between both of us, but the ties between you, lisa and joey is still there, okay...!!

''please daddy... please know that your kids miss you.. spend more time with them".

all the best my dear lisa

hurrahh hurrah? no, not yet... upsr is done, and now it's my princess' time for pmr. for the benefit of those who doesn't know wht PMR is, just click on.. the weekend was quite slow. nothing much i think except i made breakfast on saturday as requested by lisa. mushroom soup, garlic bread. we had tuna & mushroom macaroni for lunch and baked macaroni for tea/early dinner. the weekend started with solat hajat at lisa's school. it was a very unique and emotional night for us. i wish joey was there, but lisa's comment was, 'tak nak lah, if joey ada, lisa kena share mama' hehehe :D tamak betul anak dara aku ni. :p

anyway, all the best my darling lisa... my prayers are with you, for your success, always... :) remember to selawat before starting your exam :) 

i love it when i get the chance to be in hijab :) 

sunday, we had breakfast at nz with my parents :) then went to send clothes to laundry, groceries shopping, and owhh.. could not wash my car.. hmm ... after music class i went to damansara perdana with kaiser for my ermm training.. still thinking about it.. but i supposed it could be fun.

by late afternoon, we went to my parents' house to help make the currypuff :) hmmm have i lost touch on updating a blog? :p hhaha.. my mind is occupied... sorry.. i owe you guys my review on a new steakhouse we discovered... price wise.. ok lah... taste... ermm biasa je for me.. but ehh wait lah :p

poor girl, she dozed off while waiting for joey
to finish his lunch at BBQ Chicken :)

karipap gergasi :p hehehe for sale, so kena buat besar2 sket...
50sen satu ye... 

Joey and I before bed time :)

Me: joey, I love u
Joey: I love u too
Me: you promised will love me forever?
Joey: yeahh!
Me: love me forever and ever and ever?
Joey: yeahh!
Me: Promise to love me more than your wife?
Joey: aah? Errr I .. Dunno..
Me: joey!
Joey: yea Ma, I dunno..
Me: hey! I come first okay..
Joey: ermmm..
Me: cheh.. I love u.. *hug*
Joey: love u too ma :D

:p :D

joey intruded my bed last night :p

Sent by Maxis from my BlackBerry® smartphone

boarding school, or not?

my mind is 'serabut' you know... haa... baca macam slang itu mat salehh. :P hehee :D sorry, just in the midst of messy mind. i am contemplating whether or not to agree of sending joelis to a boarding school. somehow, now the urge is stronger to just try to apply. whether or not they will get it, that will be a different issue. but how? i already told joey not to go ... and same goes to lisa. i just cannot imagine my days without any of them. today just by looking at smk seri puteri website has given me the goosebumps. :'( and joey to mckk?? hmmm...