Learning to See Myself Through Their Eyes ❤️

I tend to feel that I am not good enough… sometimes even to myself.

But when I look back, I realise something.

So many people have seen a better version of me even before I was able to see her myself.

I’ve been blessed to have people in my life who noticed my progress, my strengths, my potential and even the things I didn’t realise I had in me.

I will always be thankful to one of my ex-bosses, who saw what I had contributed to the company. He saw the progress I had made, the improvements I brought to the organisation, and reminded me that I actually had more talents in me than I gave myself credit for.

I’m thankful for my business mentors too, including my younger sister, who sometimes believes in me more than I believe in myself. They sees my potential in the business and reminds me that what I do has actually helped people become better versions of themselves.

I’m thankful for my coaches, who saw potential in me as a coach — someone who could help other people discover their own potential, open up possibilities for themselves, and find their way forward.

And I’m especially thankful for my son.

He has seen me become a better person and, I think, a better listener too. I know I’m still not always good with words, and sometimes I struggle to convey what I really mean in the right way. 😂 But he notices the changes in me.

He has acknowledged and recognised that I have become happier, more productive and more positive after going through my own struggles.

And coming from my son, that means a lot to me.

Because he has seen parts of me that not everyone gets to see. He has seen me struggle, figure things out, fall short, try again and slowly become a different version of myself.

Then there is my husband.

He believes in me and supports what I do, whether I believe in myself or not. ❤️ And he has also told me that he is thankful for the way I supported him when he needed someone to believe in him.

And that one really made me stop and think.

Wow… I didn’t realise I could have that kind of impact on someone else.

Maybe that’s something I need to learn to see in myself too.

Maybe I have been so busy looking at what I haven’t achieved yet, what I could have done better, and where I think I’m still lacking…

…that I sometimes forget to look at how far I’ve actually come.

I may not always believe that I am good enough.

But the people who have walked alongside me seem to see something different.

They see someone who has grown.

Someone who has changed.

Someone who has become happier, more positive and more aware of herself.

Someone who has something to give.

Someone who can make a difference in other people's lives.

And maybe… just maybe…

it’s time I start believing in the person they already see in me. 🥹❤️

This is definitely not the complete list. 😂 There are so many people who have played a part in my journey, and I realised while writing this that I probably need a Part II… and maybe Part III! ❤️

Last Therapy Session

today is my last therapy session at HUKM. i was sad because i felt that this is the time that i can actually share my inner feelings/emotions without being judged. i find that this time, the therapy session was structured well, with goals, actions, follow up and reflections. and at the same time she also received some new lessons from me - we learned from each other. love the part that she summarized what we have gone through for the past 10 sessions together and i used gemini to make it look nicer for me to refer to some day. 

Cats Kibbles

Today TH bought 15kg kibbles for Merlin & Magnus. We decided to go for Reflex Plus - Salmon for their skin & fur.

Since Magnus is still in recovery for his fur, I have been applying Minyak Kelapa Dara that I bought from TT. And alhamdulillah looks like his fur is getting longer and has slowly grown back.

When we first brought Merlin & Magnus home, they have been eating Glory Cat kibbles from their previous Mommi. We decided to change it to Royal Canin & Purina. Both of them are not picky eaters, so it was easy for trial and error. After that we tried Reflex Plus and they love it too. Honestly it is quite pricey but this is what we both decided to commit for. Of course before changing to other brands, we still mix with Glory Cat kibbles so that M² get used to the old and new kibbles. Today is the last 1kg of Glory Cat 😁 that we have in store for them. 

And Mischa, for now she eats Royal Canin & Purina, and she doesn't eat as much as Merlin & Magnus, so for her it is still affordable. Maybe I can try and bring some HeyFur treats for Mischa and see if she likes it. Mischa is a picky eater and she has sensitive stomach, so for me to change her kibbles it could be a waste of money if she doesn't like it. But alhamdulillah now Mischa is ok with Purina One and or Royal Canin indoor.

I have yet to do a full calculation of our cost for having 3 furbabies. 😁 Maybe we should 😅 last time it was just Mischa, but now we have Merlin & Magnus too 😝

So guys/gals when you decide to have furbabies, these are the things that you can consider:

1. Kibbles
2. Wet Food
3. Treats
4. Booster
5. Vet visits, vaccination, annual check
6. Insurance
7. Cat Hotel or Pet Sitter when you travel
8. Grooming
9. Accessories
10. Toys
11. Cat House
12. Carrier/Stroller

Will add more when I remember 😁

Bosan Ke?

Diorang ni yang sebenarnya buat hidup tak tenteram. 😆 hari ni lepas bawak diorang jalan² petang, balik rumah lapar. So aku bagi treats 2 sachets. Magnus la yang selalu laju kalau makan treats. Sekarang Merlin baru belajar makan kuat sikit tapi lebih berhemah la dari Magnus 😂

Tadi aku mandi lepas balik dinner kat luar and hasrat di hati nak bukak laptop buat kerja tapi ya Allah malas tu lebih kuat. Lepas tu terdetik nak tengok diorg kat cctv.. alahai.. sedihnya 😅😅 haa macam ni la diorg.. tunggu je kat pintu sebab aku lalu lalang luar bilik diorang. Aduhai... should i let them out? Tapi dah malam pun.. tido la boys.. 1030pm dah ni 😆

Kari Ikan Masala

the weather was so hot today, i fell asleep on the couch when i took a break after lunch. ouch sakit tengkuk terus, then suddenly terfikir that i want to clear the fridge with whatever bahan masakan that i have.

i am not a fish person, i jarang sangat2 masak ikan but last 2 weeks i think, TH bought ikan merah which, i forgot about it and has been in the freezer. 

the first half pieces i fried and then di sebabkan tak keluarkan lama, masa goreng tu, dalam dia tak berapa masak. end up makan sikit, buang. 

i texted TH and told him nak masak ikan goreng balado. then TH said he is flying tomorrow, so tak nak yang pedas. then i search on the internet some recipes for ikan merah and found this. 

so this is the recipe ikan merah that i cooked today, when well, not all using the bahan2, kiranya my cooking today inspired by this recipe lah. sementara bahan2 semua ada, except the halba... hahaha i don't even know what that is.

so for my dear readers, kalau sesiapa nak try resipi ni, boleh la follow ye. yang gambar tu hasil masakan i for today's dinner. 

happy cooking!

Happy Birthday To Me 20 July 2025

on this day, i was upset with TH. actually i have been upset with him for various reasons and i just couldn't be bothered to ask or to tell him. i have not been really speaking with him and i guess this is our first kinda me feeling so upset and sad actually with him after our so many years of relationship. 

so anyway, i woke up receiving this message from TH and well, it was kinda sweet and made me chuckle a bit. my heart still sore but aah what the heck it is my birthday. i should be happy. But, I cannot la.. it hurts me too much that I just couldn't make myself to have the happy mood even if it is on my own birthday day. In the car on the way to N4's house, TH gave me a birthday present, a gold pendant from Habib. It was so lovely, I am happy with the present... but..

The breakfast at N4, it was so really nicely done and prepared. had everyone there except N1's family but it's ok. the spread was so nice, food was yummy, simple and intimate. Thank you so much N4.. urmm the chef was pacik actually 😁

after lunch everyone went back feeling stuffed.. errmm what did i do ah after that? oohh i was supposed to attend MTL at Publika but somehow when we were already on the way, event has started and we (N3 and I) didn't wanna be late so we detoured and went to AEONAU2 for groceries shopping instead.

Later that night, I wanted to have shellambak for dinner but unfortunately Shellambak was closed on Sunday so I told TH and Joey that I wanna go to Taman Rimba Ampang for dinner. I shared the Shellout with Joey and yey there was busking there and we stayed until about 10ish. Food was yummy, love the ambience and music. 

Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah swt for another year wiser, please grant me good health and functional years ahead of me. Giving me and my family wealth would be great too 😁  Thank you for such a lovely family #gratitude

thank you for the birthday cake TH

shellout at Taman Rimba Ampang

Happy Anniversary to Us

 

Photo taken on 26 Apr 2025

#hadiainstory 

They met by chance — two souls who were already whole but found even more joy in each other's company.

From the start, they became each other's biggest fans: celebrating every win, lifting each other through challenges, and sharing endless laughter.

Their bond wasn’t built on grand gestures, but in the little things — a reassuring smile across a crowded room, a hand to hold during uncertain days, and words of encouragement whispered when dreams felt just out of reach.

Together, they grew, not by changing each other, but by inspiring each other to be the best versions of themselves.

They were partners not just in love, but in ambition, faith, and happiness.

And every day, in every moment, they chose each other — with hearts full of gratitude and dreams still unfolding.

#BuildByLove #GrowingTogether #lifetransformation #BuildingDreams #BuildingEmpire #LoveFueledDreams

Open Order Biskut Raya

ni semua gara-gara i start buat biskut raya untuk family. every day year memang i main kuih tunjuk jer. tak de masa or tak de hati pun nak buat sendiri. but somehow sebab TH punya favorite is arab suji, i decided to buat sendiri dengan my mom jadik mentor. 

aleh-aleh, tau je lah my mom kan, dia tambah, "ain buat la sekali, almond suji & kacang mazola. bahan dah siap beli!"  aku pun terus, baik lah, saya menurut perintah. somehow i find that buat biskut raya ni macam healing therapy pulak. and bila i start atur biskut raya kat my table top, my cleaners tanya if i want to sell. so secara tetiba... i buka order 😂

arab suji

kacang mazola (i punya)

TH tolong sapukan kuning telur

boleh isi from 45pcs and above

bentuk ni yang for customers

harum 1 rumah wehh 😍

so begitu lah ceritanya macamana i boleh open order. for now i open sampai 23 mac 2025, lepas tu terus buat biskut. 

Nampak sedap? Boleh lah terus order 😉

Promo Duo RM70/set (Arab Suji & Kacang Mazola)

Terus isi borang order --> ORDER SINI

Tahniah Tuan - Majlis Pemakaian Sayap & Kenaikan Pangkat

Bersyukur sangat Allah punya plan. Memang He is the best planner. Banyak benda berlaku hari2 sebelum majlis ni. Bila dapat tarikh, tetiba clash dengan tarikh Team Building yang i was supposed to be one of the facilitator. Puas jugak fikir, sebab macam rushing and kena drive malam2 ke Cherating. Nak ajak anak bujang, banyak pulak hal nya, malas stress2. Allah tahu... tup tup, Team Building tukar tarikh. alhamdulillah. 

So we went to ipoh a day earlier sebab ada rehearsal. Sampai the original hotel that TH booked, i macam tak lalu nak tido situ. so carik hotel lain, end up we put up a nite at Hotel Seri Malaysia. Hotel lama but ok lah, better than that Chaston Hotel, ke apa tah nama hotel tu. Dalam booking.com cantek, dah sampai.. adehh.. tak lalu. tapi receptionist dia baik lah. Macam dah biasa je customer datang tengok bilik lepas tu cancel.

On Monday, 4 November 2024, Tuan pun naik stage, 1st untuk pemakaian sayap, 2nd untuk kenaikan pangkat. Time ni, siapa yang ada isteri boleh la bawa isteri untuk sama2 tukarkan pangkat kat bahu tu. hehehe 😀it was a great experience for me. Memang time tu rasa happy and bangga dengan achievement TH... ye la laki kita kut 😋 mesti la isteri paling happy... hahaha 😂 sorry ye TH belum ada present untuk you. Majlis delayed about 2 hours jugak, the actual majlis was quite fast. Short and sweet.

Lepas habis majlis, TH bawak round ke hanger. so dapat la i tengok kat mana TH buat latihan and where they fly from. And his instructors semua baik2 belaka. Alhamdulillah, settle 1 phase of his life and semoga selepas ini semua berjalan lancar di tempat kerja baru. 

Oh My Back! (Part 1)

i had this incident last weekend, i was warded at pcmc for my lower back/spine, or whatever. TH and i were getting ready to go to my friend's FIL's funeral, and my back just jammed, when i was bending down to look for TH's pants. i quickly straightened my body and that's it - i couldn't move anymore. am sure TH thought i was kidding but i kid you not. it was too painful that i can hardly move. i can't stand and i can't move. so TH walked me slowly (in pain) while i was hanging on to his shoulder. 

i got seated on the bed and i had to wait until i can move a bit to lie down. and after that i could not move anymore - and i was crying coz it was damn painful i cannot explain. it happened at around before 11am and i took 2 tablets for pain killer, waited for an hour, nothing happened. called the clinic for the doctor to come but i was thinking what if the pain doesn't go away?

so i decided to call the ambulance, after making sure that my medical card is still active. so it was my 1st experience in the ambulance, as a patient. i was crying so hard when they tried to lift me up from the bed to the stretcher. but the 2 MA's were very patient with me. 

arrived at the hospital in about 20 minutes. and as they transfer me to the hospital stretcher, i was still in pain but lesser because i was given an injection before the ambulance left. and to cut the story short, my medical insurance was declined as they say i can be treated as out patient. err hello, i had to call the ambulance because i was really in pain!! i am really unhappy with my medical insurance, takaful ikhlas and simply because i was a bit high from the pain killer i had no energy to argue.

so i was diagnosed with lumbar annulus tear TRO PID L5 S1 and because my medical insurance were declined, i decided not to proceed with MRI. memang time tu kecewa sangat dengan my medical insurance. i started paying monthly since 2015 kut and when i really needed support, they give really unrealistic excuses. and maybe some of you might asked, why pcmc and why not government hospital? because, i have a choice and with the pain score of 10/10 i do not think a government hospital would treat me as fast as a private hospital. 

anyhow, i am home after 1 night in pcmc, and that cost us >RM3K. medical bills are expensive ok! so, do take care of your health. so my lower back pain journey started. and i started to feel numbness on my left leg and once a while i get spasm on my left leg too. i had to be on painkiller for 4 days after discharged then i stopped slowly. i try to set an appointment with hukm and the earliest date i got is in december 2024! caya tak?? 😂

wahh sekarang pcmc dah tukar design cawan

bermula lah journey di pcmc

masa ni tunggu nurse kat ER

depa letak aku kat corridor je ko..
sebab ada emergency case kat dalam ruang ER

macam ni la kat rumah, dari 11am - 2.30pm

Grateful

there are a lot of things to be grateful for. alhamdulillah, Allah answers to my prayers. memang betul lah, Allah akan berikan pada hambanya apa yang hambaNya perlukan bila tiba masanya. banyak perkara yang aku patut bersyukur, about my son, my husband, our home, my daughter. thank you Allah for the granted prayers.

• my son, Joey has finally submitted his FYP and his graduation ceremony will be in October or November 2024 - alhamdulillah syukur  - Degree in Psychology.
• Tuan has completed his pilot training and alhamdulillah he is officially a pilot for APMM effective oct 2024. may Allah keeps him safe all the time in his duty.
• We finally finished our home renovation in SP and completed ground floor and comfortable enough to stay/live in.
• my daughter, Lisa and i have something in common is sports --> netball, yey!

Allahuakbar - syukur sangat2. am so happy. and now, to actually decide if/when we will be living in SP fully 😋

hello september 2024

omg time flies so fast. i have watched many movies on netflix to do review on. not that i have to, just that these are movies that i feel like worth for me to give a review. anyway here i go again... today is the 1st day that i want to revamp my meal plan. i did my blood test yesterday and alhamdulillah my thyroid count is much better. now my next follow up in 4 months. 

however i do have other result that i am not happy with and something that i can control. maybe is that why i have been having chest pains, ribs pain, cramps, tightened joints on my fingers.. and etc. let's see in 2 weeks time maybe or 4 weeks, i will go and do another round of blood test.

wish me luck everyone. what about you? do you have anything you want to achieve in september? or have you achieved you goals in 2024 so far? drop me a comment so that i know you are here 💋

Happy or Not Happy?

how do you make yourself happy when you don't feel that way? urgghh.. i have not written anything for the past what... 3 months? and reason? busy? happily busy or unhappily busy? does it even make sense? actually you can choose how you see the world. you are the ones who define whether you want to be happy or not. 

people's level of happiness is different. i see housewives, being happy ironing their children's clothes. i know that is not my kind of happiness 😂 hehehe 😋 sorry not sorry but i am just not a housewife material. i see people happy going to the wet market like weee early in the morning - err i would rather be in bed cuddling. i see people enjoying or at least trying to enjoy their workplace and share them over their status. urrmm i know i am happy at the cat hotel and play with the residents cats and the flexibility time that i get not going to the usual 9 - 5 job thingy. 

so yeah, choose your own happy life, your own bubble. i am babbling - i don't know where i am heading right now. i should just sleep. eh wait!

i was reminded by someone that no matter where we are, and what situation we are in, always remember to be grateful and thankful to the Almighty of what He has granted us. and for that, i am truly grateful for having a comfortable places to stay in, food on the table, beautiful family, supportive husband, wonderful children, loving sisters... err.. hahah 😂 yes they are! alhamdulillah, thank you Allah. 

My Story

When I was at my 30s, I was skeptical about supplements because I take care of my food intake and workout daily. Yes, everyday. I play netball and alternate days I do weight lifting.

At my 40s I was still skeptical. I became a ZUMBA Instructor and getting more active. Until late 40s, I had a diving accident, I couldn't do any kind exercise at all that crumbles my active fitness world, I felt. You can search in this blog my Maldives Story. I was given the 2nd chance to live. Then I saw how ageloc helped my sister regain her health.

And now, I wish I had started at my 30s to slow down the aging process and prevent illness as I grow older.

having my tea at Double Tree Hotel

I became a Group Fitness Instructor in 2013 because I want to make sure when I lead a group of people, I want to avoid injuries on others during exercising. So that I know the right method etc, few months later I became a Licensed Zumba Instructor simply because I love to dance.

In 2019 health took me down after believing in a local entrepreneur's product and influenced by a local celebrity. Some people asked me, 

"Tak saman dia ke?" My answer would be 

"What's the point? He will win and I have seen some people he took down. I don't have the energy for that and he is a waste of time for me to deal with"

I recovered from my lungs injury by ageloc technology, with Allah's will. And I became a consumer since then, and slowly make it a business to educate people on the importance of taking the right supplements.

You can take whatever brand you like, but I choose pharmanex because they have the 6S Quality Process and I know

• Safe in a long run
• Effective
• Will not harm my body
• Will not harm anyone whom I introduce
• The company has Bio Photonic Scanner for me to gauge the progress upon taking the supplements.

I just wish that you take into consideration of the following

• Are you being monitored on the supplements that you are taking, if it works for you?
• What is the point of investing on supplements but you don't have a data to ensure that it is working ie increase anti oxidant level etc

I am entering a new environment that affects my mental being. I have not been in this kind of circle for a long time as I was busy in my 9 - 5 work, and teaching Zumba classes and so forth. But now I know and I realize there are people out there who judges me and talk behind my back. But it is okay, my thoughts would be, "They have not been in my journey, they do not know my health and life story"

My emotions and feelings towards the talk is valid and my way of protecting my health is to be in that circle less. And if I talk to you less, it is because you have broken my trust and I do not feel comfortable to be with you. Until the trust is gained again, we shall stay as acquaintance. 

So yeah, that is my story for now - a lil bit here and there and I hope to hear your story. 

Our Home Progress

Salam everyone! Wow, it has been like 2 months that I have not updated anything? I must be very busy huh?! 😄 For this post I will update about our home. this is TH's 1st property and my 5th property purchase. Told TH at first that he doesn't have to buy a property, we can just continue renting and I already have my own property that I rent it out right now - but he said he want's to purchase the house for me. So sweet like that right? Hahaha let's see... 

Anyway, now is already May and there are a lil bit more to be done. The structure is up and now is paintwork and also installing the tiles for the kitchen floor and table top. We have yet to decide for the guestroom bathroom yet because it keeps on changing. 

Now that the flooring is kinda done, I have to really decide the color for my kitchen cabinet. Somehow after installing the kitchen flooring, I am having this errr... feeling because the design is huge! 😁 We really need to do some 'damage control' on the kitchen cabinet color! Time to talk to my cuz for her advice.

And yey alhamdulillah she is available around 5ish today. 

Anyway, please pray that the area is safe for us to stay and perhaps whenever my parents come over, they will feel comfortable at our house. Insyaallah. And thank you Allah for the rezqi  that you are giving us right now. Alhamdulillah 

Sad & Yet Happy

i was happy to be with my parents yesterday. somehow i have something that is bothering me after i got into an argument with my mom. i told her few months back that i would love to have her around but it scares me to live with her. simply because she is getting more and more difficult to satisfy and she is stubborn in her own way. i am afraid to have so sins by living with her - to deal with the arguments and stuff. 

she was at HUKM yesterday and i supposed her result was not good. she has been on this drink she bought that she believes it can help her with her kidney issues. truth is, it is not helping and now it is affecting her liver as well. i was also influenced by those local products that uses celebrities to pull in crowd, customers - but hey... these people are paid to do it. so they can say whatever because it is the money that put words into their mouths. my mom was so determined that the drink helps her health when facts are, it is not.

after i came back home, i was so exhausted with my brain and physical. i slept - it was supposed to be a short nap, but i slept more than 2 hours. i got up still tired and felt like i was sobbing. i love my parents - but my mom is being ridiculous right now 😥

and she said things that hurt my feelings and yet she told me otherwise. 😂 uurghh.. so i am taking some days off being away from her. i just don't feel like it. it just made me so sad.

not us

Raya2023

nasib baik raya kali ni tak terkejut. as usual, N1's house is the centre for events/functions for our family. my parents are not that well this ramadhan, so most of the days they are at N1's house coz, her house is the most spacious and she has a lived in maid. 

everyone was given duty what to do before and on the day of 1st Raya. TH decided to balik to his kg on the 3rd raya. 

2nd raya we had our kg tour.. the traffic was bad but what to do - just that next time, we should leave KL early in the morning so that we can have more nice scenery of our kg.

my expectation of raya is, waking up early in the morning, go solat raya as family, comes back after solat, gather with the whole family - wear nice clothes, bermaaf-maafan & taking pictures together. and i will always enjoy raya like that whenever wherever. 

Welcome Back to Semenanjung - 19 Feb 2023

the week that i was in Tawau, TH got a formal message from HQ that he is to report duty at HQ on Feb 20, 2023. as much as i am happy that he is being transferred back to Semenanjung, it did disturb my planned schedule. Joey was supposed to have his knee surgery and it made me, again, had the hard decision to make. so anyway, did called Joey and asked - not that i know he was going to be upset coz to kids (no matter how adult they think they are), they will still feel being an option - not priority. if only they would understand, sometimes, parents need to make the hard decision. and all i did was to make the best of all situation and having to be at both places at the same time. Allah answered my prayers that i get to be at both places to be with my love ones. nak marah, marah lah... i am tired on the receiving end. 

oopps... lost track - supposed to post on happy moments.!! focus ain... focus!!

so yeah, joey's surgery date was postponed coz the surgeon was on paternity leave. so, i extended my stay in Tawau to check and help on the moving process. i was so amazed with the movers. had i known of this, all those times that i move houses i would have used their service. 😂 they managed to pack the whole house items in about 8 hours with 3 manpower.

so we had like 71 boxes/packages and about 20 boxes/packages are sold to TH's younger brother. some we brought back to our home in RGE. dah memang jadik macam storage. 

some of the big items left that they packed

checked in luggage... we had 20kg spare! rugi!

yey we are back in KL!

while waiting for my cousin to fetch

detour to KLIA for my sister departure to Mekah, pic with my mom

preloved clothes

so after this TH will be in Ipoh Perak for 18 months before he is being transferred to Subang for his new role. All the best TH!! take care, love you. 💖