Thursday, June 14, 2018

last day of ramadhan

Doa Akhir Ramadan

Ya Allah, jangan Kau biarkan Ramadhan pergi tanpa meninggalkan kesan keinsafan di hati2 kami.

Ya Allah, jangan biarkan Ramadhan pergi tanpa membawa himpunan amal dan doa kami.

Ya Allah, jangan biarkan Ramadhan pergi tanpa islah dan kebaikan terhadap keperibadian kami.

Ya Allah, jangan biarkan Ramadhan pergi tanpa keampunan dosa2 kami.

Ya Allah, jangan biarkan Ramadhan pergi tanpa meninggalkan jejak2 ke syurga untuk kami.

Ya Allah, janganlah Kau biarkan Ramadhan pergi sebelum Kau tutup rapat pintu azab dan neraka Mu daripada tergelinciran kaki kami.

Ya Allah, lindungilah kami dari melakukan dosa dan kemaksiatan semasa dalam Ramadhan maupun selepas Ramadhan.

Ya Allah, sebelum mentari akhir Ramadhan berlalu pergi, Kau ampunilah kami dan Kau terimalah taubat kami.

Ya Allah, Kau sempatkanlah kami bertemu lagi dengan Ramadhan Al Mubarak yang akan datang.

Ya Allah, lindungilah semua anggota keluarga kami dari tipu daya dan fitnah dunia. Selamatkan setiap seorang dari kami dengan iman dan taqwa.
Jadikan kami calon syurgaMu. Sempurnakan akhlak kami dan lindungi kami dari godaan syaitan dan hawa nafsu.

Ya Mujibbasailin.
Limpahilah kami dengan sifat2 kebaikan dan terpuji.
Jadikan kehidupan kami di dunia ini tenang dan penuh rahmah dan mawaddah. ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข

Aamiin Ya Rabbal Alamiin.

I had a good ramadhan alhamdulillah although i was again hospitalised few days before. I tried my best to be at my parents daily for terawikh or at times go to the mosque for a different ambiance. I will always look forward for the next ramadhan to gather again with kalam's clan.

Sunday, June 3, 2018

Knee Maintenance

the last time that i had that injection on my right knee was in 2016 i think. and this time i thought it is time again for the treatment. right now i am getting sleepy to blog.. but i wanna update something :p so i will be pasting some write up to perhaps explain what happened. 
Runner's Knee (click here to a link)
Patellofemoral syndrome is the term for pain at the front of your kneecap. It's common in people who play sports. That's why it's often called "runner's knee" or "jumper's knee."
It can be brought on by using your knees too much, for instance with intense exercise like jogging, squatting, or climbing stairs. But it can happen to people who don't play sports, too. Your kneecap, also called patella, can get out of line and not move the way it should in the groove on top of your thighbone.
This wears away the cartilage -- a slippery substance that helps your bones move smoothly against each other -- and causes pain.
You may feel a dull ache in the front of your knee, and it may hurt to climb stairs, jump, or squat. You may notice that your knee hurts after you sit for a long time. Or it might pop or crackle when you stand up or go up stairs.
26 May 2018 at Prince Court Medical Centre
So this year i waited till Ramadhan to do it coz i dont teach many classes in Ramadhan. and i thought it would be a good time to take a break/rest on my knees. i went to PCMC because i thought the hospital is nearer to my house when i go for weekend visit. i did the treatment on saturday, 26 May 2018. how i feel after that? my knees were stiff, really stiff and kind of funny to walk. the nurse asked if i wanted a wheelchair, but i thought i should be practicing to walk anyway. 

31 May 2018: 4 days after the procedure i still feel slight imbalance while walking and my knees rasa mcm ngilu2 and sometimes i just lose balance. boleh imagine tak, how am i supposed to have my zumba class? memang tak lah kan? well anyway, we had buka puasa with the whole kalamsclan at subang parade. i thought i was okay to walk, but then in the middle of window shopping, suddenly my knees jammed! luckily N1 was beside me, so i hold on to her LOL :D it was kinda funny. embarrassing funny. 

Thursday, May 31, 2018

What’s the difference between Maghfirah (ู…ุบูุฑุฉ ) and 'Afuw (ุนููˆ )?

I received this from my friend in a whatsapp group and as much as I want to remember this, I would like to share this with you ๐Ÿ˜˜

Maghfirah: is for Allah to forgive you for the sin but the sin will still be registered on your book of deeds. Maghfirah is Allah’s forgiveness for your sin but on the Judgment Day it will be written on your record, Allah will ask you about it but HE won’t punish you because of it

'Afuw: is for Allah to forgive you for the sin and delete it from your book of deeds as if it did not happen. ‘Afuw is Allah’s pardon for your sin, it will be completely erased from your record and Allah won’t ask you about it on Judgement day

This is why our Prophet (salla Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said that, this is the best Duaa to make on Laylatul Qadr:

"Allahumma innaka 'afuwwun tuhibbul 'afwa fa'fu 'annee"
(Ahmad, Ibn Majah, and Tirmidhi)

O Allah, You are The One Who pardons greatly, and You love to pardon, so pardon me.)"

So make sure you read this dua all the time and as much as you can. Make it one of your daily athkaar.

Imagine that you are standing on the day of Judgment being held accountable for your deeds, and you're not guaranteed your entry to Jannah.

Suddenly you find that you have mountains of Hasanat (rewards) in your record

Do you know from where these mountains of rewards come from?

Because in the Dunya you kept saying : ”SubhanAllah wa bihamdihi SubhanAllah al ‘Adhim”

Prophet Muhammad ๏ทบ said: "Two words are light on the tongue, weigh heavily in the balance, they are loved by Al Rahman, (The Most Merciful. One):
ุณُุจْุญَุงู†َ ุงู„ู„ّู‡ِ ูˆَ ุจِุญَู…ْุฏِู‡ِ ، ุณُุจْุญَุงู†َ ุงู„ู„ّู‡ِ ุงู„ْุนَุธِูŠู…ِ - SubhanAllahi wa biHamdihi, Subhan-Allahi 'l-`adheem (Glory be to Allah, and Praise, Glory be to Allah, the Supreme)"
(๐Ÿ“šBukhari , Muslim)

Can you imagine how much your reward will be multiplied if you share this information about the virtue of this remembrance with your friends and they keep saying it (SubhanAllah wa bihamdihi SubhanAllah Al Adheem) because you guided them to do good?

Be the One Who Guides Others to Good Deeds.

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Mencari Tuhan

Seorang Ustaz ke Barber Shop untuk gunting rambutnya. Ketika rambutnya sedang digunting, si tukang gunting rambut bertanyakan 1 soalan kpd si Ustaz.

BARBER: Saya nak tanya 1 soalan.

USTAZ: Ya, silakan.

BARBER: Benarkah Tuhan itu wujud?

USTAZ: Mestilah wujud. Kalau Tuhan tak wujud, pastinya kita pun tak wujud di dunia ni.

BARBER: Kalau betul Tuhan itu wujud, knp ketika manusia dlm kesusahan Tuhan tak bantu. Kalau betul Tuhan itu wujud, semestinya takkan ada manusia dlm kesusahan di dunia ini.

USTAZ: "Diam dan tersenyum sambil menggelengkan kepala".

BARBER: Knp Ustaz diam??

USTAZ: Kamu gunting rambut saya bagi siap dulu, dan saya akan jawab soalan tu selepas semua selesai.

Si tukang gunting ni pun dgn segera siapkan rambut Ustaz itu kerana ingin tahu apa jawapan Ustaz itu. Akhirnya siap.

BARBER: Ok dah siap Ustaz. Apa jawapannya Ustaz?

USTAZ: Berapa harga?

Barber: RM10 sahaja. (masih menunggu jwpn)

USTAZ: "Ustaz keluarkan dompet sambil tersenyum tanpa sebarang kata".

Setelah membayar Ustaz terus keluar dari kedai. Si tukang gunting terdiam melihat tindakan Ustaz yg agak pelik. Tiba² Ustaz masuk kembali ke kedai tersebut dgn membawa seseorang. Orang itu adalah pengemis jalanan (gambar).

USTAZ: Kamu tengok dia ni. Benarkah wujud Tukang Gunting Rambut dlm dunia ni??

BARBER: Mestilah wujud. Saya ni kan tukang gunting.

USTAZ: Kalau betul wujud tukang gunting, takkan ada manusia yg rambut tidak terurus seperti ini. Kalau betul wujud tukang gunting mesti rambutnya terurus.

BARBER: Dia yg tak pernah mencari tukang gunting, mestilah rambutnya tak terurus.

USTAZ: Jadi, itulah jawapan saya utk soalan kamu tadi.

BARBER: "Terdiam seketika".

USTAZ: Manusia yg tidak mencari Tuhan, sombong dgn Tuhan. Tuhan itu sentiasa ada dgn kita. Kalau kita mencari Tuhan, pasti hidup kita terurus seperti rambut yg dijaga.

BARBER: "Terus terdiam dan terkedu mendengar jawapan Ustaz itu dlm keadaan menitis air mata".

Moral of the story, hidup kita semua bergantung pertolongan dari Allah. Jgn sesekali kamu anggap kamu boleh hidup tanpa bantuan Allah. Sebenarnya Allah tidak memerlukan manusia.
Tetapi manusia yang memerlukan Allah.


Note: Got this from my cousin in the whatsapp group 

Dependency only to/on Allah swt

reading this on twitter makes me want to say/write this. by understanding this, it makes us more calmer as a person, and not worry about little things or even big things that happen through our life - this journey. but i was thinking if we are too relax or too calmer, it doesn't makes us human. and our life will be monotonous, no excitement. i am not saying that we shouldn't believe on the above, BUT what i am saying is, by knowing the above, whenever we feel sad, anxious or even happy, DO KNOW that all those feelings IF it is about other thing/person other than Allah swt, they are temporary. and... by saying these, we can/should enjoy the moment while we have it/them but at the same time, be prepared if Allah swt takes it away from us. ๐Ÿ˜Œ 

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

cinta fatamorgana

my current celebrity crush ๐Ÿ˜›

definition? love that does not exist becomes as though it exists. yeah thats what its all about. i watched this drama by not knowing the real understanding of the word. sounds so deep though. i got hooked with this drama since i was at home resting upon discharged from the hospital. i have never watched aeril acting and this was my 1st time. after watching a few episodes i like his selambaness and his face expressions that memang sampai kat jantung! and yes it is true what one of his fan wrote in his ig, he didnt need to be touchy to show his love towards his partner and yet as an audience, the message reached me.. i felt that they love each other in the drama. well done aeril and of course the rest of the casts. all actors and actress were good in that drama. syazuwan reminds me of my 1st boyfriend during my high school.. ahaha ๐Ÿ˜œ

got to admit that this drama stresses me out too. i love the loving part of the drama but i hated the dengki mendengki part and also the part of kawin paksa / arranged marriage. its like come on laa zaman sekarang ada lagi ke arranged marriage? and with this drama nampak sangat orang melayu ni kuat dengki dengan orang busuk hati and pisau cukur pasal harta and.. kalau orang kaya kena kawin dengan orang kaya je ke?? haa kan sis dah emo ๐Ÿ˜œ

i skipped episodes 19 to 24 i think.. coz it is getting too stressful for me. and only watch the last 3 episodes coz i love happy ending.. hahah ๐Ÿ˜‹ so kalau you all nak tengok google je la tajuk drama ni and you can watch it online. thats what i did anyway coz the realtime of showing tu tak sesuai for me to watch and i am malas to layan all the advertisements. 

selamat menyambung ibadah puasa everyone - till my next write up. this drama ended yesterday by the way with happy ending ๐Ÿ’‹

Sinopsis Cinta Fatamorgana - originally from

Kisah persahabatan di antara Rifqi (Aeril Zafrel), Huzair (Syazuwan Hassan) dan Wildad (Azar Azmi) Hubungan Rifqi dan Huzair sangat rapat. Rifqi sangat terhutang budi dengan Tuan Deraman (Norman Hakim) dan Puan Habibah (Linda Rafar) yang mengganggap Rifqi seperti anak mereka sendiri. Malah Rifqi turut tinggal bersama-sama keluarga Huzair setelah kematian bapanya yang telah banyak berjasa kepada keluarga Huzair.

Dalam diam, Wildad dan Rifqi saling jatuh cinta namun terhalang kerana Huzair turut menyintai Wildad. Sikap Rifqi yang lebih mementingkan perasaan Huzair berbanding Wildad membuatkan Wildad sering berkecil hati. Namun, dalam diam hati lelakinya tetap merasa cemburu apabila melihat Huzair mesra bersama Wildad tetapi perasan itu hanya dipendam Rifqi demi menjaga persahabatan mereka. Delina pula punya calon kekasih hatinya sendiri, Shakir, namun ibunya, Puan Karmila menentang perhubungan mereka. Dia mahu Delina berkahwin dengan Huzair kerana mengimpikan syarikat milik Tuan Deraman.

Suatu hari, keluarga Wildad ditimpa malang apabila mereka di buru Ahlong akibat hutang kakaknya, Wahidah. Apabila mengetahui masalah Wildad, Huzair meminta bantuan bapanya untuk menyelesaikan hutang Wildad. Wahidah juga turut diberi pekerjaan di syarikat mereka. Rifqi mengambil keputusan untuk menjarakkan diri apabila melihat Huzair dan Wildad semakin rapat. Wildad sebenarnya terluka dengan sikap Rifqi yang tidak ambil peduli tetapi dia juga tersepit dengan kebaikan Huzair yang telah banyak membantu keluarganya.

Namun, Tuan Deraman pula tidak mahu Huzair berkawan rapat dengan Wildad kerana dia mahu menjodohkan Huzair dengan Delina, anak sahabat baiknya. Tanpa pengetahuan Huzair, Tuan Deraman membuat keputusan untuk menikahkan Rifqi dan Wildad ketika Huzair ke luar negara untuk menyambung pelajaran. Adakah Huzair dapat menerima orang yang dicintainya dirampas Rifqi sedangkan selama ini Wildad hanya mencintai Rifqi?

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

the day i got admitted

as of today, i am suffering (tak lah suffer sangat cuma payah nak menguap and makan - and when i am having short of breath, it's difficult for me to yawn to catch my breath) jaw locked for the past 2 weeks. been to GP twice but it is still there. so what happened was, i went to the second GP whom i knew the doctor personally and she referred me to the hospital. and since i am used to PCMC now, i requested to be referred there.

14 May 2018: i was passed to a total of 3 doctors on the same day ๐Ÿ‘€ not really complaining - just sharing. it is just a process of getting to the root of my problem. so, from Dato Dr Badrul, to Dr Kelvin and to Dr Yap supported by Dr Azlina. what are their specialties? feel free to look for the info at pcmc's website ๐Ÿ˜‹ by the time i get to Dr Yap's clinic, my migraine has worsen. 
echo cardiography procedure
in summary, apparently after talking to Dr Kelvin he wants to know if there is any infection in my heart which can be dangerous since i have 3 leakages in the valves? and if it could be linked to my locked jaw. something like that. so Dr Kelvin spoke to Dr Yap, my Cardio Specialist and i was instructed to go to Cardio Clinic asap. did the echo test (shown above) and somehow they saw something in there that they need to be sure if there is any benign tumor or vegetation or mass. not sure if i mention it right here but that was how they sounded to me. 

when i got up from the bed after echo test, i wanted to grab for my phone being charged on the floor. i could not bend since morning due to my bad migraine. and when i wanted to take my phone, i almost collapsed and luckily was held by Dr Yap & Dr Azlina. and at that point of time i cannot remember which doct asked if i was okay. i remembered saying that i have a terrible migraine. wheelchair was given to me immediately. 

upon consultation with Dr Yap after my echo test, i was advised to be admitted that day for cardiac assessment and they planned for trans esophageal echo cardiography.  that night i felt really bad. my migraine did not subside. asked for painkiller and the nurse gave me celebrex which i know it will not help me. until later at night i could not stand it anymore - call up the nurse and she gave me another painkiller which i forgot what its called and i could sleep then. 

15 May 2018: kaiser came early morning after he knew i was admitted the day before. joey was still sleeping when kaiser arrived. i have not seen kaiser for quite some time. he looks good although not as big as before - he does look lean though. alhamdulillah. 

11.00am: it wasn't comfortable for me during the procedure coz i was awake when they did the procedure. i can feel the tube being rodok2 in me.. hahaha ๐Ÿคฃbut not in pain lah. just uncomfortable. Dr Azlina had to try 4 times to get the tube in coz i felt like vomiting it out. And i can hear them discussing about what they saw in there. they told me the procedure was only for 10 minutes but it was almost an hour. 

12.30pm: i was brought to my room back and i saw 4 of my office colleagues waiting in  my room. with a basket of fruits. hehehe ๐Ÿ˜€ so nice and sweet of them but i was quite segan la, coz i was in the hospital attire and you can guess lah kan.. hahaha ๐Ÿคฃ so i climbed on my bed and covered myself with the blanket while talking to them. 

anyway, the final diagnosis was:
  • Upper respiratory tract infection
  • No aortic stenosis or regurgitation seen
alhamdulillah. and thank you to SH and YH for coming the next day and for the beautiful flowers!
peneman setia - TQ adik... love you ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜