Thursday, May 24, 2018

Dependency only to/on Allah swt

reading this on twitter makes me want to say/write this. by understanding this, it makes us more calmer as a person, and not worry about little things or even big things that happen through our life - this journey. but i was thinking if we are too relax or too calmer, it doesn't makes us human. and our life will be monotonous, no excitement. i am not saying that we shouldn't believe on the above, BUT what i am saying is, by knowing the above, whenever we feel sad, anxious or even happy, DO KNOW that all those feelings IF it is about other thing/person other than Allah swt, they are temporary. and... by saying these, we can/should enjoy the moment while we have it/them but at the same time, be prepared if Allah swt takes it away from us. 😌 

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

cinta fatamorgana

my current celebrity crush 😛

definition? love that does not exist becomes as though it exists. yeah thats what its all about. i watched this drama by not knowing the real understanding of the word. sounds so deep though. i got hooked with this drama since i was at home resting upon discharged from the hospital. i have never watched aeril acting and this was my 1st time. after watching a few episodes i like his selambaness and his face expressions that memang sampai kat jantung! and yes it is true what one of his fan wrote in his ig, he didnt need to be touchy to show his love towards his partner and yet as an audience, the message reached me.. i felt that they love each other in the drama. well done aeril and of course the rest of the casts. all actors and actress were good in that drama. syazuwan reminds me of my 1st boyfriend during my high school.. ahaha 😜

got to admit that this drama stresses me out too. i love the loving part of the drama but i hated the dengki mendengki part and also the part of kawin paksa / arranged marriage. its like come on laa zaman sekarang ada lagi ke arranged marriage? and with this drama nampak sangat orang melayu ni kuat dengki dengan orang busuk hati and pisau cukur pasal harta and.. kalau orang kaya kena kawin dengan orang kaya je ke?? haa kan sis dah emo 😜

i skipped episodes 19 to 24 i think.. coz it is getting too stressful for me. and only watch the last 3 episodes coz i love happy ending.. hahah 😋 so kalau you all nak tengok google je la tajuk drama ni and you can watch it online. thats what i did anyway coz the realtime of showing tu tak sesuai for me to watch and i am malas to layan all the advertisements. 

selamat menyambung ibadah puasa everyone - till my next write up. this drama ended yesterday by the way with happy ending 💋

Sinopsis Cinta Fatamorgana - originally from

Kisah persahabatan di antara Rifqi (Aeril Zafrel), Huzair (Syazuwan Hassan) dan Wildad (Azar Azmi) Hubungan Rifqi dan Huzair sangat rapat. Rifqi sangat terhutang budi dengan Tuan Deraman (Norman Hakim) dan Puan Habibah (Linda Rafar) yang mengganggap Rifqi seperti anak mereka sendiri. Malah Rifqi turut tinggal bersama-sama keluarga Huzair setelah kematian bapanya yang telah banyak berjasa kepada keluarga Huzair.

Dalam diam, Wildad dan Rifqi saling jatuh cinta namun terhalang kerana Huzair turut menyintai Wildad. Sikap Rifqi yang lebih mementingkan perasaan Huzair berbanding Wildad membuatkan Wildad sering berkecil hati. Namun, dalam diam hati lelakinya tetap merasa cemburu apabila melihat Huzair mesra bersama Wildad tetapi perasan itu hanya dipendam Rifqi demi menjaga persahabatan mereka. Delina pula punya calon kekasih hatinya sendiri, Shakir, namun ibunya, Puan Karmila menentang perhubungan mereka. Dia mahu Delina berkahwin dengan Huzair kerana mengimpikan syarikat milik Tuan Deraman.

Suatu hari, keluarga Wildad ditimpa malang apabila mereka di buru Ahlong akibat hutang kakaknya, Wahidah. Apabila mengetahui masalah Wildad, Huzair meminta bantuan bapanya untuk menyelesaikan hutang Wildad. Wahidah juga turut diberi pekerjaan di syarikat mereka. Rifqi mengambil keputusan untuk menjarakkan diri apabila melihat Huzair dan Wildad semakin rapat. Wildad sebenarnya terluka dengan sikap Rifqi yang tidak ambil peduli tetapi dia juga tersepit dengan kebaikan Huzair yang telah banyak membantu keluarganya.

Namun, Tuan Deraman pula tidak mahu Huzair berkawan rapat dengan Wildad kerana dia mahu menjodohkan Huzair dengan Delina, anak sahabat baiknya. Tanpa pengetahuan Huzair, Tuan Deraman membuat keputusan untuk menikahkan Rifqi dan Wildad ketika Huzair ke luar negara untuk menyambung pelajaran. Adakah Huzair dapat menerima orang yang dicintainya dirampas Rifqi sedangkan selama ini Wildad hanya mencintai Rifqi?

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

the day i got admitted

as of today, i am suffering (tak lah suffer sangat cuma payah nak menguap and makan - and when i am having short of breath, it's difficult for me to yawn to catch my breath) jaw locked for the past 2 weeks. been to GP twice but it is still there. so what happened was, i went to the second GP whom i knew the doctor personally and she referred me to the hospital. and since i am used to PCMC now, i requested to be referred there.

14 May 2018: i was passed to a total of 3 doctors on the same day 👀 not really complaining - just sharing. it is just a process of getting to the root of my problem. so, from Dato Dr Badrul, to Dr Kelvin and to Dr Yap supported by Dr Azlina. what are their specialties? feel free to look for the info at pcmc's website 😋 by the time i get to Dr Yap's clinic, my migraine has worsen. 
echo cardiography procedure
in summary, apparently after talking to Dr Kelvin he wants to know if there is any infection in my heart which can be dangerous since i have 3 leakages in the valves? and if it could be linked to my locked jaw. something like that. so Dr Kelvin spoke to Dr Yap, my Cardio Specialist and i was instructed to go to Cardio Clinic asap. did the echo test (shown above) and somehow they saw something in there that they need to be sure if there is any benign tumor or vegetation or mass. not sure if i mention it right here but that was how they sounded to me. 

when i got up from the bed after echo test, i wanted to grab for my phone being charged on the floor. i could not bend since morning due to my bad migraine. and when i wanted to take my phone, i almost collapsed and luckily was held by Dr Yap & Dr Azlina. and at that point of time i cannot remember which doct asked if i was okay. i remembered saying that i have a terrible migraine. wheelchair was given to me immediately. 

upon consultation with Dr Yap after my echo test, i was advised to be admitted that day for cardiac assessment and they planned for trans esophageal echo cardiography.  that night i felt really bad. my migraine did not subside. asked for painkiller and the nurse gave me celebrex which i know it will not help me. until later at night i could not stand it anymore - call up the nurse and she gave me another painkiller which i forgot what its called and i could sleep then. 

15 May 2018: kaiser came early morning after he knew i was admitted the day before. joey was still sleeping when kaiser arrived. i have not seen kaiser for quite some time. he looks good although not as big as before - he does look lean though. alhamdulillah. 

11.00am: it wasn't comfortable for me during the procedure coz i was awake when they did the procedure. i can feel the tube being rodok2 in me.. hahaha 🤣but not in pain lah. just uncomfortable. Dr Azlina had to try 4 times to get the tube in coz i felt like vomiting it out. And i can hear them discussing about what they saw in there. they told me the procedure was only for 10 minutes but it was almost an hour. 

12.30pm: i was brought to my room back and i saw 4 of my office colleagues waiting in  my room. with a basket of fruits. hehehe 😀 so nice and sweet of them but i was quite segan la, coz i was in the hospital attire and you can guess lah kan.. hahaha 🤣 so i climbed on my bed and covered myself with the blanket while talking to them. 

anyway, the final diagnosis was:
  • Upper respiratory tract infection
  • No aortic stenosis or regurgitation seen
alhamdulillah. and thank you to SH and YH for coming the next day and for the beautiful flowers!
peneman setia - TQ adik... love you 😘😘

Friday, May 11, 2018


lots of things happening around since my last posting. this is the first time that i actually paid detail attention to the GE14 or PRU14. i actually stayed up to know the results. queuing for 1 hour is fun when you stood there with your siblings and taking lots of pictures. and of course with the current politic situation, the mood is different? i dont know how to describe it. but it is different and most people wants change for the better. 

the result was shocking but expected at the same time. whatever it is, i hope and pray for a better malaysia in the future. insyaallah. since macam penat nak bebel panjang2, you all enjoy je lah the pictures taken during PRU14 ya. 

we met afdlin shauki! yey!!

Monday, May 7, 2018


We lost our beloved MakLong, Hjh Arminah binti Ginen, yesterday (6 May 2018).

Other than my own mama, my Mak Long lah yang rajin membebel to me if i do/did anything wrong. Mak Long is also the one who will console me when things do not go right in my life. Hugging her and talking to her is like hugging and talking to my own mama. Yesterday Mak Long left us, I didn't get to hug Mak Long and see her face for the last time because Allah swt has arranged it that way. Somehow I just stood there frozen as I watched the last person kissed her. I could have requested to "wait.. I wanna kiss her too".. but.. perhaps Allah wants me to have the last memory when we were still laughing and joking happily during my sister's wedding. I love you Mak Long.. you will definitely be missed dearly. 😢😢

"Ya Allah, ampunilah dosanya, rahmatilah ia, selamatkanlah ia, maafkanlah ia, muliakanlah tempat persinggahannya, luaskanlah kuburannya, mandikanlah ia dengan air, salju, dan embun, Bersihkanlah ia dari segala kesalahan sebagaimana Engkau membersihkan pakaian putih dari kotoran, gantikanlah rumahnya dengan rumah yang lebih baik, keluarganya dengan keluarga yang lebih baik, isteri/suaminya dengan isteri/suami yang lebih baik, masukkanlah ia ke dalam syurga, dan lindungilah ia dari seksaan kubur atau dari seksaan neraka"

Tuesday, May 1, 2018


project asal nak try to get more guys to try out this programme tapi somehow sambutan from guys tidak memberangsangkan. maybe because diorang nampak je zumba terus kecut ingatkan kena menari sedangkan dah letak situ not a dance. but it is okay :) kiranya rezeki siapa2 lain yang nak join this free session.

so if you have not registered yet please whatsapp me at my number shown in the poster.

Saturday, April 28, 2018

Avengers - Infinity War

i am a fan of all these superheroes.. marvel or dc, i like both i guess. honestly i might just get confuse with those two. kalau borak dengan joey sure aku kena marah/bebel dengan dia. joey ni kurang sabar sikit. kalau tanya lebih2 pun nanti dia marah. tapi aku selalu gelakkan dia jer. hehehe 😀 tu la satu2nya buah hati pengarang jantung aku - sorang2nya anak teruna. masalahnya.. well bukan la masalah sebenarnya tapi cabaran, dia ni banyak ikut rentak aku masa muda. so aku kena banyak la bersabar... macam tu la agaknya mama dengan ayah aku dulu. bezanya dulu adalah mama dengan ayah... sekarang ni, aku sorang je layan kerenah si joey tu. apa2 aku kena fikir sendiri.. nak discuss pun nak discuss dengan siapa? kann.. anyway, dah melalut posting aku ni. sebenarnya aku nak tulis pasal avengers. 
as soon as tau movie ni keluar, joey dah tanya, "mama bila kita nak pergi tengok" si joey ni aku kena book awal2... itu pun dah ada kawan2 dia ajak dia pi tengok.. aku dah bagi dia 'the dagger look!'  and there are certain movies yang aku akan pergi tengok kat gold class sebab aku nak dia punya sound effect and keselesaan sambil menonton the movie. believe it or not.. belum pun keluar movie tu, semua dah fully booked. and aku pulak kena suit kan dengan jadual kelas2 aku. end up aku dapat hari jumaat kat pavillion 27 april 2018 pukul 11.40pm. alhamdulillah. 

kesimpulannya memang cerita tu best sebab aku suka fighting scenes dia. in between tu memang la diorang melawak. but bila ramai superheros bergabung, tiba2 aku rasa dunia ni selamat jer... cheywah.. hahaha 😁 tapi betul lah macam joey cakap, takat ironman tu dah tak de apa yang luarbiasa dari biasa sebab dia memang power and brilliant. yang lain dia kata thor, lenmacam kali ni. errr.. eh, ni review aku ke review joey sebenarnya? 😋

aku memang ternanti2 watak captain america. and this time, his appearance memang lain with his beard and all. nampak matang and not as blur as before. baju dia pun smart je. kalau dapat peluang tengok kali kedua aku ok je kut. tapi rasa macam nak gi gold class jugak lah... ngada tak? aku nak la sandar2 kat recliner tu.. hehehehe 😜 and bila sampai kat wakanda tu macam tak sangka negara tu macam dahsyat betul teknologi diorang. memang kagum lah. errmm ok aku tak boleh nak cerita lebih2.. nanti orang marah. 

oh ya, aku cadang nak pakai baju captain america. pastu nak beli tak de design yang aku suka, so aku pun pakai lah tshirt joey yang lisa belikan. hehhe tapi yang best, semalam joey balik kerja dia belikan aku tshirt captain america!! yahuuuu... alhamdulillah