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Sunday, January 8, 2017


i am tired of asking. but it doesnt stop me from asking because maybe i still believe that it is not the time yet. maybe because i have faith in Him that He will grant me what i asked for. as long as i lived He has always given me what i asked for. but this time it is pretty tough. it is too tough that i broke into pieces. and i picked up all those broken pieces and got up to go on with my journey. until when? i dont know. people say trust His plan and you will be at peace. so i guess that is what i am doing.

but if only you know what is in my mind - you would, be in tears.

God, please give me that strength to move on... 

Thursday, January 5, 2017

mischa is my baby

I was having a chat with my office colleagues during lunch time when I was ermm how to say, hurt by one of my colleagues comment about my Mischa. Having Mischa as our family members is one of the best thing that has happened in my family. She is one of us. She is my baby and she understands how I feel whenever I feel sad or lonely or happy. Yes, she is a domestic cat. We saved her from being run-over by cars in the middle of the road. Some people may want to own only mixed breed cats – but I don’t care how much you would spend on your cats, or what kind of cats that you have in your home or how proud you are with your mixed breed cats. Seriously I don’t care BUT don’t give comment like “kucing macam ni kat pasar berlambak!!” that is so KURANG AJAR!! How would you feel if I were to say that about your child??? Yeah maybe I am being emotional because I am Mischa’s mom!! The only mom that she knows since she was a baby. So, don’t you dare give such comment about my Mischa!!

is it?

i notice that nowadays i have very very limited time to blog. perhaps i should just blog via email like i did on the 1st jan posting. of course the layout would not be nice if i were to blog from my laptop. the reason i am saying this is because last time when i used to blog often, i had less stress. :p heheh :D

anyway, my days are happening too fast, really too fast. joey is already in form 5 this year. and lisa is gonna be 20 this year! wow... no more having teenagers kids.. only 1 teenager left. how do i feel about it? alhamdulillah, i am grateful that my kids turn out to be good kids and quite easy to manage/handle. i have to admit dealing with a boy is different as the way they think is different.

at this point of time i am having overlapping tasks to be done - and what on earth am i doing, blogging??? LOL ... i just need to let things out of my chest first.. ok.. :p

i end my 2016 quite well. i took the last week of december 2016 off. not really sure what to do but with the current situation at the office, it just made me felt so iyeeghhh... but i keep telling myself - what choice do i have? it is either i grumble every day out of it - or just go with the flow and do what i am supposed to do since i am paid for it every month anyway. i have to admit that multi tasking with my fitness activities are getting more and more challenging. BUT that did not stop me from having a good holiday with my son - and a great time partaying and appreciating AKO Fitness members.

oh, for those who have been reading my blog, my fb (page or personal fb), IG or my tweet - they may clash.. as in my postings. simply because for my fb page it is all about AKO Fitness activities / updates  / changes, and my other fb is for my personal and i can me quite emotional... but my tweet is errmm more aggressive? my ig can sometimes about me sharing about fitness activities, motivation or relationship, WHICH may/may not be related to me, okay. so yeah... just read, if you like, with an open mind. NOT everything is about me. gosh.. :/

ermmm i really have to go.. boss is calling. i really wanna share some of my travelling photos. i must say that joey really takes nice pictures. maybe my next posting will be pictures from joey's camera during our recent trip to bandung ;)

stay tuned.

Monday, January 2, 2017

welcome 2017

it wasnt the new year eve that i wanted. until i decided that new year eve celebration does not mean anything to me anymore. had a bad migraine for the past 2 days and i know why.. lack of drinking water. so, it was tough to get back on track and feel better..had to take 2 panadols, and arranged for a 2hour body massage. half hour before new year i was already on my bed playing with my phone. what else to do 🙄😐 **sigh**

early morning of 1st jan 2017 kaiser texted me and asked where i was. where else can i be? of course at home lah. apparently he wanted to take me out for a ride in a porsche that he babysits 😊 so yeah, that kinda brings smile on my face. he is quite unpredictable actually.. 1 day he can just ignore me and another day he can give me all the attention that i wanted. although at the same time i always remind myself that, i need to take care of my heart first. 

so, he took me for breakfast at craven, where we used to hang out many years back when we lived in bukit antarabangsa. then we went drive up to kl city centre before we go up puncak setiawangsa and take some photos. so, yeah.. my opinion? it was indeed a comfortable ride and nice. compared to Audi TT and Z3 i think that i sat in before. Audi TT was hard and bumpy while Z3 was noisy. 

it was ok 😎 i feel good. boleh lah.. 😛

that's all for the 1st day of Jan 2017 😉 till we meet again.

ain signing off via email. 

Thursday, December 15, 2016

A Challenge

i have great challenges in my life. from my own love story - up to my family - my kids - my business and now my job. i love my job and it is getting more challenging. just that it is much easier if i am my own boss. anyway, apa la nak jadi dengan aku ni. sitting at my place but am actually blur what to do first.

ok anyway, alhamdulillah this year AKO Fitness gets better response in terms of attendance during the school holidays. and i am quite busy planning for next year. we did a trial session for line dance & mtv dance, and insyaallah in 2017, it will be continued - maybe for the 1st quarter.

this saturday we will be having a flashmob session - if you wanna see AKO Fitness team in action, whatsapp me ;-)

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

nov blabber

gosh.. this blog really bersawang already. enough of me giving excuses that i do not have time to blog. each time i open up my blog..i will feel like updating. maybe i should try vlog in here.. heheeh 😃 just that maybe i dont like the way i sounded recorded.

honestly.. a lot of things have been happening around me. alhamdulillah AKO Fitness has been getting a few extra events.. mostly are charity base. so, yeah, you know what i mean and i am so so so grateful to have a group of loving, caring and sporting people in AKO Fitness who are not berkira whether they get paid or not to be with me on stage. alhamdulillah.. you ladies rocks!

at the same time i also got to know that someone is betraying a not to say really friendship..but we do know each other. looking at what she is doing now it makes me think that wow.. all these whole she has been eyeing on you know who. and yeah it sucks.. may Allah give her time to repent.. and insyaallah someday her husband will know that she has been bitching with another man. and you know what, enough lah portraying yourself goody goody out there.. i feel like puking! and the sad thing is i used to your support your business. **sigh**

oh well.. i guess enough of todays posting that i am doing at my lunch table at papparich 😁 eating porridge since i am not well. till we meet again in my next posting.. take care ya'll!

best regards

ain kalam

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

missing my princess :'(

i wrote this on my FB status today... just spoke to her this morning over skype.. she looks so like an adult already.. hehehe folding her own laundry.. cooking for her meals.. i miss her so damn much. i wish i am a millionaire that i can fly there anytime.

"Ok.. I think I am going crazy... I am not Jane and I am not writing about my John. I don't care if people say I am emotional but this is my wall and if you don't like what you read on my wall, feel free to unfriend me :p .. I just miss her so very very much :'( I went to her room this morning and I can smell her.. I am feeling so empty without her.. talked to her over skype but it is still not the same.. and I feel like my tears are falling as I type this... or... wait... can't stop crying already"