stop animal cruelty!

this was actually a video but i just took a snap shot

i think by looking at the uniform, this could be in thailand. depa ni memang dah biasa kut kejam macam ni. entahlah. ke aku yang terlalu sensitive pasal isu2 macam ni. depa sibuk nak jual tiket to all tourist untuk ambik gambar dengan singa betina ni. sah2 dah bagi ubat bius supaya the lion lemah longlai macam tu. just sebab nak ambik gambar. 

the last time aku pergi pattaya dengan my family, we went to the elephant place, pun aku tak sampai hati nak naik gajah tu. entah, aku rasa macam diorang tersiksa pulak and tak sampai hati kalau diorang rotan2 gajah2 tu... 😭 please la people. boleh tak cari jalan lain untuk kaut keuntungan? aku sedih sangat tengok macam ni... 

busy sunday

punya la aku siap list down apa yang perlu aku buat untuk sunday. takut ada yang tertinggal. so far alhamdulillah everything was done according to plan and some are earlier and smoother than planned. i woke up and don't feel like going out for breakfast coz sah2 joey masih dalam bilik dia. kalau aku keluar dengan kalams clan, lagi lama aku kat luar. so, i decided to buat tuna mayo sandwich for joey and i.

my airbnb guest checked out earlier at about 10.30am which makes it easier for me to arrange for my cleaner to clean my apartment. i fetched the cleaner at 11.30am, sent her to the apartment, i took all the used bedsheets, towels, blankets and sent to self service laundry. while waiting for it to wash, i had my early lunch at around 12 noon since i will be conducting aqua zumba later at 3pm. okay aku mengaku dok type ni time kerja tapi tengah tak de mood nak kerja sebab pikir MrH nak datang malam ni sebab dia tengah cuti. 😋

sambil tunggu laundry kering, aku drive balik hantar lunch kat joey. and as expected, breakfast dia pun tak usik lagi. so aku tambah je lah lunch pulak. dah berderet makanan atas meja makan tu. layan kan je lah anak bujang aku sorang ni. he got up dalam pukul 1 lebih kut.. aku pun entah macamana terlelap kejap. dah settle borak dengan dia kejap, aku pun rush balik ke laundry, pick up yang dah kering, hantar ke apartment for the cleaner to iron and pasang balik kat katil. 

i drove off to shangrila for my aqua zumba. nasib baik gerak awal, sebab jam kat jalan sultan ismail. reached the poolside 2.25pm. speaker semua dah ready. cuaca agak mendung so i thought tak pe lah tak payah pakai the beach umbrella tu. but after 3 songs, matahari mencanak atas kepala. aku dah rasa tekak aku memang kering. kepala dah ketat and aku pakai cap kan, lagi la agak terasa. daripada pakai specs biasa, aku tukar sunglasses. nak tak nak aku kena gak act ceria and senyum all the time. suara dah ala2 ella rocker dah. so aku banyak pakai sign language time coaching diorang dalam pool. tak ramai pun dalam 5 orang... and by the time habis tinggal la 3 orang, guests from Switzerland. sporting la diorang. lepas tu memang tekak aku dah kering and kepala dah start berdenyut. 

aku tengok jam jsut just before 4pm. my zumba sisters masih senyap. ni sure belum habis layan SRK. so aku pun drive balik dulu. dapat basahkan kepala rasa ringan sikit walaupun masih letih yang teramat sangat. aku call cleaner, dia kata lagi 15 min settle semua, so might as well i fetch her and send her back on my way out to see my zumba sisters. jumpa diorang just before 6pm.. or maybe slightly after 6pm. dah lama tak lepak ramai2, we had fun. aku dah macam mamai2 sikit, kepala dah berat. so i did not stay long pun. by 7.15pm macam tu, aku pun gerak balik...

balik ke? urmmm memang tak la kan. aku singgah keramat sebab nak pick up food yang aku dah order for the whole week since joey is at home. so, apa2 dia tinggal masak nasi je. i had 4 tupperwares of food - lauk ayam je semua coz joey bukan makan sangat benda lain. 

by the time malam, kepala dah makin berdenyut. i took the painkiller 2 biji dah kut. masih sakit.. aku try padam lampu.. sama jugak.. last2 aku gagahkan jugak bangkit pi masak air. i sipped hot water - pour some hot water dalam hot water bottle and letak bawah kepala and slept that way. rasa lega sikit lah... and i am so looking forward for a fun monday with MrH. ngeeeee😁

hahahaha laju tak korang baca posting aku ni? 

friday blab

first of all i must say that i am so grateful with my CSM team at the office. alhamdulillah without good team members memang susah nak gerak and ensure that we achieve our target. 

and today (21 Dec 2018) i restarted me urut kurus 😂 haa.. jangan tak caya, macam2 sis buat nak kurus tau! but of course, urut je tapi kalau tak jaga makan, it wont work ok. i am cutting down on my food (tengok hari jugak) and with this massage it speeds up the process lah. bukan kurus kg, somehow it reduces inches on certain area of my body and ni testimonial tau. done this masa before N4's wedding and i like the result. so now doing it coz i wanna look good masa dive trip next month. #silajanganmuntah 😂 suka hati la kan.. hahhaha 🤣

anyway, terasa plak sunyi sebab AH pi dating 😁 tak de sapa nak kacau. sebenarnya macam sama je.. bila masing dengan partner masing2 aku tak leh buat apa lah kan... well i guess my time will come jugak nanti kut... 

nak kacau MrC memang tak lah sekarang ni. entah la aku macam berasa hati kut dengan dia. so sekarang ni memang aku tengah keep my distance from him. but next month on our trip together tak tau lah. we will be going in a group anyway. memang aku looking forward sangat for a good trip, to enjoy my dives and of course with the people around me. 😉 so till the next posting.. 

hmmm yeah.. brain & heart kalau tak align agar sukar.. aku pun kerap sakit kepala. nak try tak fikir and go with the flow but easier said than done kan. doakan je yang baik2 ok ☺

holiday mode in on

1 more week to go. while some office dah start lengang, at where i am working, (or me) is still very busy trying to close a lot of things by year 2018. i am not sure what i am going to do for my new year.. but already took the day off - just in case something comes up. orang lain yang ada family ada la plan masing2... and aku dengan joey je.. last year he went out with his friends. ye la kan, dah besar panjang, takkan nak berkepit bawah ketiak mak lagi. today is his last day, last paper for his Final. aku dah book dia awal2 when he comes home for leave nak gi tengok Aquaman. joey je la date aku untuk gi tengok wayang. senang, tak yah nak fikir bukan2... coz for some people, kalau ajak pi tengok wayang je, dah macam ada something special... **sigh** letih aarrhh.. sedangkan sometimes kan lagi best ada kawan pi tengok wayang - daripada pi sorang2. 

aku punya mood untuk my dive trip next month pun tengah up ni. memang tengah excited and try to gather a few things to pack up. kalau tak nak nanti kelam kabut. kalau ada time, next month nak celup2 sikit kat swimming pool msn setiawangsa tu. kalau schedule joey clear, boleh la ajak dia sekali sebab macam dah lama sangat dia tak dive kan. so dia kena la buat refresher. 

aku rasa my task yang aku list kat dalam my notebook macam hampir tak gerak. banyak benda nak kena cover. sorry la korang kena baca pasal hal aku and office pulak. ye lah kan, takkan asyik nak citer kisah jiwang2 jer.. kang korang ingat aku ni minah jiwang pulak - walaupun kadangkala terjiwang karat jugak... hahaha 😋 ok lah...

apa2 pun i am looking forward for AH to come tak lama lagi. we can lepak sama2 and do lots of things chugedder. dah dia tengah cuti, dia nak jalan2 KL, aku ok jer.. heheh 😋 ye happy la nih... maybe before his next schedule membelah samudera bergelora boleh la lepak dengan aku, kan. 

my emotional moments

sekarang ni tak tau la kenapa aku tengah emo sikit... cepat je terasa bila ada orang cakap apa2.. or nanti tetiba terasa macam sedih, padahal sebenarnya sepatutnya aku tak rasa macam tu pun. or maybe betul la perempuan kalau PMS kan terlebih emo. ha tu dia... so, untuk mengelakkan emo berlebihan, baik borak dengan AH. so aku pun vc la dengan AH. borak pasal apa? ishh mana leh bagitau... hahhha 😄

time lunch time aku pun pi la jumpa LS pulak. menu hari ni nasi kukus ayam berempah...entah kenapa naik hantu.. punya la banyak aku rasa aku makan. nasi tak cukup, LS pulak offer nak bakar roti.. dah tak pasal2 kitorang makan roti bakar dengan butter and kaya 2 keping sorang. haaa amik kau. aku rasa malam ni aku makan capati dengan sardin je lah for dinner. dah banyak sangat makan ni. hajat di hati nak jaga badan sebab nak pi dive trip. kaghang dive suit tak muat ha camna.. mampuih.. 

ha ni lagi satu nak cerita pasal aku yang tengah emo. sekarang ni memang nak start packing sikit2 sebab tak nak kelam kabut. nanti bulan january memang agak busy kat office. sebenarnya my list to do dah panjang tapi as always - procrastinating. emo sebab BCD aku rosak, dive comp aku rosak.. sib baik otak tuannya tak rosak. hehehe 😂alhamdulillah. so, kali ni punya trip aku pun dapat lah belas ikhsan kawan2 diver lain. those items aku pinjam jer.. terpaksa la kan...

errmmm nak bebel lagi tapi tak de mood balik... stay tuned la eh... 

reunion tenggol warriors

14 dec 2018: is the date that was decided by scuba network, the organiser of malaysia day malaysia book of record, mengibarkan jalur gemilang terbesar di dasar laut. errmm well, i am not quite sure what to call the activity but yeah.. that was what we did. the reunion was also for us to receive all our hard copy certificate of participation.

Malaysia Book of Record   ← click here for story

we were blessed that MR offered to have the meaningful event at Wisma Seri Kota. it was spacious, comfy, private and most importantly also - it has its own karaoke room! wuhuuu.. nampak tak kegembiraan di hati sis? 😁 not many turned up, half confirmed but less than half actually turned up. biasalah being malaysians kan.. rsvp ni masih kurang disiplin.. ha kan dah kena bebel dengan sis. bukan apa, its the preparation of food tu.. pembaziran..

anyway, it was a working day for most of us. i rushed from the office to help out apa2 yang patut. i sent the bekas for the food 2 days earlier so that tak kelam kabut. i ordered laksa & nasi goreng for the function. on the day itself MR sent to us the pictures of the tables setting, superb lah. so sis dengan berbaju kurung, singsing lengan jugak lah nak susun2 some food on the buffet table. seronok dah terasa macam kenduri kat rumah sendiri. 

lepas maghrib, we waited for a few more to arrive and yes he arrived just before maghrib. looking at his face after so long ...hmmm... tak tau nak cakap lah. heeee 😁 memang la happy tapi sis control je lah kan. bukan apa, i dont know what to expect pun. anyway, memang sis rasa agak segan awal2 tu.. tetiba terasa macam ter-stranger pulak. hehehehe 😁nampak tak masih tersengih macam kerang busuk? uurmm ok put him aside dulu lah. 

as usual secara tetiba, sis terjadi emcee for the function. tak pe lah.. sis memang dah biasa jadi emcee kat functions, so for kawan2, sis ons jer. in summary the function was simple, informal and fun. food memang banyak, which akhirnya we tapau-ed and sapa2 nak bawak balik that night dapat la bawak balik at least cover breakfast for the next day. sis dapat la satay banyak and fruit salad. 

after the certs presentation, semua menghala ke karaoke room. best giler with all the divers singing and dancing. i can see him so happy that night. nampak benau macam release tension from something. rasa macam dia nyanyi paling banyak kut.. and sampai serak lah suara dia. i sang too but tak sebanyak selalu.. hahaha 😁 bagi chan la kat yang lain2 yang jarang karoks tu. 

yang tak bestnya that night by 10.30pm macam tu kut, kepala sis dah start denyut.. tangkap tengkuk, mata nak tercabut.. adeh.. migraine dah.. sis suspect the contact lense yang sis pakai. nak melawa punya pasal kan.. layan jugak.. some of them thought that sis dah penat and ngantuk, but it was more of the migraine. tu yang tak selesa. 

we said our goodbyes by 1.00am.. and i am grateful that i get to convoy with MA on the way back coz he lives nearby my house. at least tak de la drive sorang2 sangat malam2 buta. ye, memang sis sekarang penakut nak drive late night.. sebab tu kalau nak karoks dgn AS, he will come and pick me up and send me home.

satu je lah.. i wished the organiser have invited the maritim team, police marin team who were also together with us on the 16 sept 2018 event. 

#takcukupquorom

our own close group created after the event 😘 hopefully lepas ni dapat pergi dive sama2 lagi

me receiving my cert for SNMSB Founder, Manta (member office jugak sebenarnya 😋)

macam meriah je kan.... 

**sigh**

she knows what she is getting into. this is only a challenge that she need to learn and that this is not even the real thing yet. this could be like a mirage. something that she thought she sees in front of her but when she reaches at a certain point, it is not real. the nice things that she thought she sees are not there. it could only be there to distract her a little while, to let her see other possibilities that she may be able to achieve in life. she sees this coming, she warned herself earlier. she guarded her heart. its okay it is still intact but what is next? still proceeding... going with the "going with the flow" bullshit? he may not understand or sees it coz to him, it is nothing...

happy pills

another day of blabbering for me. i had a long day at the office for the past 2 days. meetings that started like 830am and 845am.. had loads of stuff to absorb in my head. it can be quite stimulating and can be annoying also when you know you have plans and someone somehow wishes to disturb it. entah lah.. cant complaint much.. and not meant to complain cuma release steam jer... anyway, this time wont let it spoil my zumba mood lah kan so i went for my thursday class.

every thursday 830pm at MyPassionCentral - Sri Gombak

on the way back was feeling so hungry and lagi pun dah lama tak cuci mata dengan abam food truck yang hensem tu kan... alaa takat cuci mata je pun - [just for the record, sis tak suka lelaki putih2 ni, tak macho... sis suka yang sawo matang... ~ jangan la cakap pasal kaiser, dia memang mat salleh kut!! haisshh!!] cukup lah dengan siapa2 yang dah ada ni. but just nak cakap his grilled chicken is sedap cuma semalam dia dah lupa dengan order aku... sib baik baik sis tak merajuk. dah la lupa, ayam macam kecik pulak tu.. and dia pi letak fries.. sis kureng la kan.. mashed potato dia dah abis kut. tapi korang datang la kat food truck dataran wangsa.. signatories kut nama food truck dia. sib baik AA temankan makan semalam. it was her turn for thursday class. ingat boleh la collect my jamu sekali tapi sebab tak plan nak jumpa, she did not bring it with her. 

lepas makan aku pun balik terus la sebab nak borak lagi dengan AH... sebab kat food truck bising.. and semalam line AH pun mcm siot.. hehehe 😁 tak puas nak chat and borak. so by 11pm kut kitorang dah balik... aku sampai2 rumah je tetiba nampak sepasang kasut nike kat depan pintu. punya la berbunga hati aku, Allah je yang tahu.. happy sangat with the surprise.. mula2 tu aku ingat mimpi ke... and ke aku lupa yang it was friday.. tapi i was so sure it was a thursday... heheheh 😂 cepat2 aku bukak pintu... and of course yg first greet aku mesti lah mischa... and aku bagi salam and dengar suara joey from his room.. 

dengan busuk2 aku pi intai dia dalam bilik.. he was already on his bed dok mengadap laptop baru dia.. and testing his new cassete recorder yang dia pesan dari lisa. aku dengar jugak dia chat.. macam familiar je suara tu.. hahaha 😀 then dengar suara sebut.. "mama!" ehh.. laaa dengan lisa rupanya.. hahahaha entah aku happy sangat malam tadi.. and aku terus peluk and cium joey..  kitorang chat la sekejap - the 3 of us... gosh.. i am so grateful with my 2 wonderful kids... alhamdulillah... semoga anak2 mama jadi anak2 yang soleh & solehah, berguna di dunia & akhirat... ameeen

korang la harta mama dunia & akhirat

rindu

sekarang ni memang aku tengah layan drama seribu rindu tapi sampai ep 23 ni aku masih tak tahu apa kena mengena tajuk seribu rindu dengan jalan cerita drama ni. aku makin meluat tengok si doc airel yang macam orang tak betul tu. tapi tak pe lah... dah start tengok kan, terpaksa la habiskan jugak. 

now talking about rindu, betul ke kalau ko rindu seseorang, ko start nampak orang lain pun ko ternampak dia.. or ko nampak kereta same type pun ko teringat kat dia? tapi logic ke kalau ko rindu kat someone tapi ko tak tau samada ko boleh ke rindu seseorang tu? cheyy... nak drama sikit... kalau kat dialogue drama kan, sure pelakon tu kena cakap, "layak ke i merindui you?"   ye la... aku tau dia tengah rindu orang lain. siapa lah aku ni dalam hidup dia kan... just one of his friends. haaa gitewww... kang aku cakap aku rindu kat dia, mana nak letak muka aku? cheywahhh hahhha 😁amik kau! tapi sebenarnya tak boleh eh kalau ngaku je? but macamana boleh rasa rindu pulak eh? why and where did it come from? but possible ke? 

haa jangan gelak.. jangan kutuk... aku cakap je.. mana la tau antara korang yang baca blog aku ni ada jugak rasa macam ni, jangan nak tipu la kan.. mesti ada punya... hik hik 😅 lepas tu kan, its like ko tau ko rindu tapi ko pulak cuba nak deny perasaan tu sebab ko tak nak termalu kalau dia tak rasa benda yang sama. kan kan kan? haaa biasa benda2 macam ni.. 

jap eh.. ni siapa pulak dok mengata atau sebut2 nama aku ni? rindu kat aku ke? atau dok gossip pasal aku? habis dah hancur bibir bawah aku ni tergigit. nampak tak macam serba tak kena aku ni sekarang. korang ingat aku rindu siapa sebenarnya? haa?? tettt... kalau orang tu tanya pun aku takkan ngaku... hahahah 😁

aku confuse ke? atau, salah ke kalau aku tengah letting my own feelings running off freely? bahaya ke? am i getting myself into trouble again? or aku ni terlalu berani? ok.. for this time i will try not to go overboard. aku kena sedar siapa aku... tettt... wahh pilu pulak tetiba... hahahah 😓

okay better put on my shield too... tettt! 

rambling

kalau aku cakap macam ni sure korang kata aku tak bersyukur kan? bukan tak bersyukur tapi rasa insulted sangat.. memang la dah lower down the expectation. tapi sekarang ni kerja sini memang dah tak macam dulu. it is now the employer's market, not employee's market anymore. ko kalau buat hal, memang bai bai la jawabnya. so kena la jaga periuk nasik masing2. 

hari ni terasa bila ada RM40 dalam purse. dah macam zaman muda2 dulu.. nak berbelanja pun sangat berkira. but so far alhamdulillah dah berapa hari ni ada je rezki orang belanja makan.. hehehe 😋 maybe i can try, makan je apa yang ada kat rumah tu.. boleh gak kurus kan? hahaha 😭 so tadi aku isi minyak keter pun rm40 je lah.. tapi terfikir pulak nak cuci kereta... dah macam kereta contractor rupanya. 

lamanya lagi nak tunggu gaji masuk.. adoyai.. tapi dalam hati dah macam2 plan nak pi sana, nak pi sini... itu la kalau stress lagi rasa nak spend. ni yang dulu kaiser bebel. aku dah lama tak buat kerja macam ni sebenarnya. weehhh aku tengah serious kebosanan ni... 

2018 coming to an end

work 

sekarang ni time memang berlalu sangat pantas. and again, aku bertukar head of company kat office where i work. aku dah immune dah dengan bosses changes. sapa2 je diorang letak kat situ, insyaallah  he/she will gain my respect. kerja makan gaji kut, nak cakap apa lagi. janji, aku masih ok datang kerja. nak kata happy, aku bersyukur - alhamdulillah dengan gaji yang aku ada dapat tampung my current lifestyle, although for the past 3 months memang aku agak tersekat pernafasan aku. aku rasa it started with my dive trip, aku kena repair my equipments and dengan insurance medical aku pun dah fully utilized. so sekarang ni aku cuba bertahan. 

passion

i have my dive and i have my zumba. started my dive trips again starting 3rd quarter of this year . and getting items in my bucket list achieved, insyaallah. and my zumba, business wise, i reduced 1 class starting in december. and looks like it is better in terms of managing the business and my time. sekarang ni pun aku tak sure sampai bila aku akan mengajar. bila aku tengok all those who came for classes memang best lah. nanti kalau aku stop AKO Fitness, diorang nak zumba kat mana eh? rata2 area rumah aku tu semua classes campur. and kalau kata for ladies only pun, tenaga pengajar masih lelaki. so, macam tak berapa betul lah pulak kan. anyway, tengok la macamana nanti. insyallah aku akan masih mengajar selagi mampu kudrat aku.

people

i have a few people in my life yang make me think of how people think of life. people whom i meet along the way of my life in 2018, or maybe ada jugak yang aku kenal yang has/have somewhat affected my life - i think.

DN is someone yang i can talk about almost everything from business to personal matters but of course not all personal matters lah kan. i know him since... bila eh.. 2016 kut but enough la for us to lebih kurang faham perangai masing2.  kadang2 dia ni cuba jugak nak hide certain things tapi Allah swt tu kan maha berkuasa, kalau Dia nak tunjukkan kebenaran, akhirnya aku akan tahu jugak. 1 thing aku macam terkilan dengan DN ni, he is a successful person (boleh dikatakan) tapi i find that he is still too much about duniawi yang kadang2 menakutkan aku. aku cuma boleh doakan dia supaya berubah ke arah kebaikan, insyaallah. 

Master Yoda is a wise man that i get to know since ermmm maybe 2 years ago and he is such a happy go lucky person. life seems so simple when i talk to him. he takes it as right now everything is temporary and so enjoy while we can but of course with some limitations.

Abg is a mysterious man whom i have yet to get into his jiwa. and aku pun tak tahu whether i should or should not continue. there is something about him that calms me down, and i would like to know him better. cuma sekarang ni maybe dia pun busy sebab dah akhir tahun, or maybe aku terasa his coldness, so aku pun banyak bawak diri. nak kata aku tak rindu langsung, tipu la kan but maybe dia tak nak aku rindu dia kut. aku pun berasa hati tapi tak leh la layan kan sangat perasaan aku. kena bijak sikit jaga hati sendiri. dah la LS kata aku ni jenis berani mati punya olang! 😋

AH sekarang yang paling rajin melayan mood aku and at the same time aku rasa dia pun rajin jugak melayan sesiapa yang dalam his circle lah kan. teettt... so kitorang banyak borak2 pasal flashback; pasal benda2 future, pasal relationship and lain2 lagi lah. maybe satu hari nanti aku tak dapat dah nak be as close as now dengan AH, who knows kan.. like i always tell him, selagi we both are still single, cheywah..or things can change over night.. we will never know kan... so now kita lepak je lah... and layan je lah. tapi entah2 sekarang ni pun dia tak lah single sangat kut.. hahaha sebab dia dah ada 'date' kan... 😁 well, AH, thank you for all the laughter and fun that we have together 😉

comparison between generation

What a beautiful answer!
Comparison between two  "Generations" ....... Everyone must read 👌👌

A youngster asked his father: "How did you people live before with-
No access to technology
No aeroplanes
No internet
No computers
No dramas
No TVs
No air cons
No cars
No mobile phones?"

His Dad replied:
"Just like how your generation lives today with -

No prayers
No compassion
No honor
No respect
No character
No shame
No modesty
No time planning
No sports
No reading"

"We, the people that were born between 1940-1985 are the blessed ones. Our life is a living proof:

👉 While playing and riding bicycles, we never wore helmets.
👉 After school, we played until dusk. We never watched TV.
👉 We played with real friends, not internet friends.
👉 If we ever felt thirsty, we drank tap water not bottled water.
👉 We never got ill although we used to share the same glass of juice with four friends.
👉 We never gained weight although we used to eat a lot of rice everyday.
👉 Nothing happened to our feet despite roaming bare-feet.
👉 our mother and father never used any supplements to keep us healthy.
👉 We used to create our own toys and play with them.
👉 Our parents were not rich. They gave us love, not worldly materials.
👉 We never had cellphones, DVDs, play station, XBox, video games, personal computers, internet chat - but we had real friends.
👉 We visited our friends' homes uninvited and enjoyed food with them.
👉 unlike your world, we had relatives who lived close by so family time and ties were enjoyed together.
👉 We may have been in black and white photos but you will find colourful memories in those photos.
👉 We are a unique and, the most understanding generation, because we are the last generation who listened to their parents.
Also , the first who have had to listen to their children.
and we are the ones who are still smarter and helping you now to use the technology that never existed while we were your age!!!

We are a LIMITED edition!

So you better -
Enjoy us.
Learn from us.
Treasure us.
Before we disappear from Earth and your lives."

juz do it

sometimes when you just feel you need a breather, you will just do whatever new things that you have not done before. kadang2 bila banyak sangat benda comes at once, jadi serabut. kadang2 in life kita tahu apa yang kita buat or apa yang kita rasa tu macam tak betul. athough it gives us that adrenaline rush. tapi kita buat jugak or layan jugak perasaan tu kan? korang faham tak apa yang aku nak cakap ni sebenarnya. kalau tak faham, tak pe lah..

well anyway, nowadays i will do things ikut apa yang aku fikir betul. or apa yang buat aku happy. so on 2nd dec 2018, i flew to JB to visit MrH's dad at the hospital. and memang la the pull factor is MrH which is, while he is on leave to take care of his dad at the hospital. i will save the details out of this blog postings coz well, there are some things i prefer not to share to the public.

i bought a 1 way ticket because i also wanna make sure that MrH is okay before i leave back for KL. he does sound a bit serabut from his texts. so bila aku decide nak pergi sana, coz kadang2 kalau diri sendiri serabut, you go somewhere and be there for someone who is in need, you tend to forget your own problems. not saying that i have a problem la kan... cuma masalah2 yang cari sendiri.. siapa suruh 😋 but in summary, i made a right decision to go to JB. i get to be there for a friend in need and i get to have my me time there.

of course at the same time my mind keeps going back to you know who.. tapi nak buat macamana, you cannot have everything in life. and when you are an option for some, you just need to do other things la kut. coz how can you put him as priority when you are only an option? get what i mean? and i have to make myself priority too. tipu lah kalau aku cakap aku tak rindu.. but sedih kan.. daripada asyik fikir je, baik mem-busy-kan diri with all other activities.

i get to know MrH's parents and his twin brother at the hospital. memang kalau jaga orang sakit badan akan jadi letih. faham sangat but kita berbakti lah pada orang tua while we still can kan. and kesian tengok ibu MrH yang macam tak cukup rehat jugak and yet she still keeps herself jovial. i arrived just in time for visiting hours. stay at the ward for awhile until the time came for MrH to send his twin to the airport to fly back to KL. and of course aku temankan MrH, since visiting hours pun ended around 2pm macam tu.

lepas hantar his twin back, we drove up to a restaurant for late lunch. memang aku dah lapar gila tapi senyapkan aje lah. pandai2 la jaga diri kat tempat orang. boleh tahan la sedap masakan asam pedas tu. but somehow after that MrH got a call from ibu that his dad can be discharged - we were all a bit confused coz patutnya his dad pending waiting for CT Scan and maybe operation. so we rushed back to the hospital. things were a bit confusing. aku tengok MrH pun agak tak puas hati sebab macam tak de betul2 result kenapa his dad sakit macam tu.

i booked an apartment for myself in JB just in case i am sleeping over. somehow dalam kekalutan tu, aku rasa at that time, aku boleh je balik KL, and biar MrH be with his family. kalau tanya aku, memang la tak puas nak borak and hang out dengan MrH but this wasn't a leisure visit kut. so i texted MrH coz masa tu he was at the hospital's office to settle the discharge process. i told him that i can excuse myself so that dia tak payah nak fikir nak kena entertain aku kat situ - which dia ni memang macam tu.. jenis yang akan cuba memuaskan hati semua orang. after lepaking with him a few times now, we tend to learn more about each other's character & personality, i supposed. aku ni jenis simple je and tak suka nak menyusahkan orang lain.

he called me and asked if the place that i booked has an extra apartment for the night coz MrH wants to put up another night in JB just to ensure that his dad is really stable to travel back to mersing. so i booked another apartment for him and his parents. while MrH is busy settling the discharge process, i took a grab car and went to the apartment to check in and make sure that his parents' apartment is clean and i switched on the air-cond and lights before they entered.

they arrived at the apartment around 8-ish. once they have checked in and rest, MrH and i went out to buy dinner for all of us. we took the opportunity to talk whenever we can. it's like the topic will go on and on and on. his dad was still feeling the discomfort and was still vomiting. but i am glad at least that night his parents get to sleep comfortably. and betul lah kata orang, time resah serabut macam ni bila ada teman nak berborak and all, rasa lega sikit kepala otak.

ermm to be honest i don't know where is this posting heading... 😂but probably i just wanna blab.. and i just wanna say that i enjoyed my short trip to JB. the next morning MrH and his parents checked out earlier coz they want to stop by at the hospital before heading off to mersing. and it was a good bye between me and MrH and we don't know if our path will cross again in the future.

sorry MrH, i tak tanya you, terus post je this posting... kalau tak boleh, i delete, okay? i tak tanya dulu sebab nak surprise.. 😁 

by now dah dapat permission... heheheh 😋

you had me at hello

ok.. semua ready? 😂 belum apa2 aku nak gelak dulu. dakk.. kang aku tulis ni korang start la buat tekaan ala2 jack pot tu kan, aku ckp pasal siapa. boleh tak bila korang baca ni nanti korang andaikan yang korang tengah baca novel kisah errmm angan2 seseorang. haaa gitu..

aku ni kan, kadang2 suka benor buat doa kat Allah yang .. ermm entah macamana nak cakap eh.. dah terlepas baru tersedar.. "adoi.. kenapa la ko pi doa macam tu? you are asking Him man!! He is your creator.. He can give if it is good for you" haaa macam ni la kalau aku bercakap sendiri. orang art kata apa tu? ber monologue? cheywaahh 😂

kalau ikut jalan hidup aku sekarang ni alhamdulillah, aku happy. i have various people around me yang buat aku happy, or buat aku rindu, or buat aku belajar erti kesabaran, or mengajar aku mengimbang yang mana baik yang mana masih perlu aku gunakan akal fikiran.. dan lain2. 

memang kadang2 aku terfikir nak give up on perasaan ni.. tapi bila tengah best tu, best je lah kan. bila sunyi tu sunyi jugak lah kan.. and aku rasa aku takkan dapat apa yang aku nak daripada dia.. hemmm tettt.. mula la tu! 😝 ok lah.. apa2 pun, he knows i had him at hello. 

ya Allah.. permudahkan lah. if he is not for me, jauhkan lah.. ameen