fulfilled weekend

i am not sure if i am a person who would like surprises.. maybe i do not know how to react on surprises done for me. but of course, surprises by people who are dear to you, siapa tak nak, kan? 

i have been feeling emotional towards end of last week. so mengarut kan.. 😀it was before the weekend came. and i know i miss AH so so much. but there is nothing that i can do about it. i would be lying if i say i don't have ridiculous request in my head for him to cut short his off days back at his hometown to be with me in KL. it sounds so selfish - and i dont want that. so bila dah kena control emosi sendiri macam tu, terus jadi emo and sensitive tak tentu pasal. or maybe dah dekat nak PMS pun ye kut.. hehehe kan akan jadi emo and sensitive. guys.. take note ya.. 😜

since i wont be seeing AH, i made plans for myself coz i dont want to have high hopes on him coming to KL. although there is a tiny winny hope there is left.. but i try so hard to brush it off. anyway, he couldn't cut short his off day because his dad is away for work and he didn't want to leave his mom alone over the weekend. which is, very very noble of him to do so for his mom. ini yang lagi membuatkan aku rasa serba salah coz i really want him to be with me. no, i did not tell him that coz AH ni jenis yang kalau seboleh2nya memang dia nak fulfill apa yang aku request. yes, he is that kind of a guy. 

before i am with AH, weekend memang my lazy time pun... i am so glad that every weekend joey will be home. and kalau ada movie best2, i will go for a movie date with him. otherwise it will be the same every weekend. time for zumba, lazying at home, bfast with my parents and thats it. so last weekend AH was asking me what was my plan. so aku update je lah. aku tau i won't be seeing him.. pujuk hati aku sendiri.. tapi the nearer the weekend is, semakin sebak and aku start rasa semak melayan perasaan aku sendiri. 

aku whatsapp joey and make plans with him, pagi sabtu disebabkan videoshoot postpone, aku decide join gang zumba aku pi makan bakso...yang dah lama gila tak makan kat kg baru.. and lepas makan bakso and lepak with my zumba sisters, aku call joey to fetch him at his apartment. walaupun jam gila babas hari tu maybe sebab weekend kut. aku masih sebak.. aku try jugak lawan sebak aku.. aku try jugak bagi kepala otak aku supaya rational sikit - and jangan jadi macam budak2 hingusan bercinta and be more accepting and mature. haa tu dia!! 😜 and for sunday pun aku dah ada plan untuk gi hi-tea kat cafe my bff in valencia. 

bakso kg baru for breakfast

by the time aku sampai rumah lepas ambik joey.. dah pukul brp ehh.. 3 lebih kut.. so aku pun lepak2 lagi.. then terfikir nak cuci kain baju yang dah penuh kat laundry basket tu. sambil2 tu aku chat dgn AH. and i started to feel so bored and broken. bosan kan rasa macam tu. that feeling you are trying so hard to control.. dayuummmm... i miss him so much. and i asked him if i can video call him. then he said, he can't coz he is with his mom & dad. 😯 suddenly i can feel the blood rushed right up to my head. did i read it right? his dad is home? 

a part of me happy coz, again, i was talking to myself, if his dad is home, will i get the chance to see him now, over the weekend? but then again, he didn't say he is coming to KL though. hmmm... but me being thoughtful and sensible (trying so hard to be understanding) couldn't ask him to come to KL. but i am such a big liar. i cannot lie to myself saying that i am not broken. hahaha 🤣 ngek kan.. 

so i told him that its okay he cannot have video call with me and i want to hang the clothes that is from my washing earlier. he did call me later on and asked if aku merajuk. of course la aku cakap tak, kan.. coz sebenarnya bukan merajuk cuma entah... rasa blueecchh... and i know, the only thing to make me feel any better is, if i can have him in front of me at that moment. bila dah rasa macam ni, bila dia call, line tak berapa elok pun aku jadi telinga panas... relax ain.. control yourself.. jangan marah2... aku pujuk hati aku sendiri. and aku terus bagitau AH aku nak get ready for my movie with joey. AH pulak siap ngarut nak order royal popcorn lah apa lah.. lagi la aku hangin.. siapa yang nak makan pop corn tu nanti?? and on the phone conversation dia try jugak pujuk aku and i feel bad coz lagi lama aku borak dengan dia lagi aku rasa sebak nanti aku nak ternangis - so better cut short the conversation. 

when i reached the parking at the mall, i saw his live location shared with me.. and that is when i got to know that he IS coming to KL!! hahahaha nampak tak sis happy?? omaigod.. tak tau dah nak cakap apa.. tapi i am so happy lah kan... sengih sampai kering gusi aku ni.

to cut story short... aku jumpa AH kat NZ after the movie coz we both lapar.. and aku nampak dia duduk kat situ when i arrive.. aku terasa sangat macam mimpi.. expression muka aku pun dah lunyai masa tu coz aku tak terkata apa2 sebab memang aku happy sangat wehh... hahahah ngek la aku nih.. tak tau malu betul.. and all those actions when he sees me coming and seated beside him... haishhh.. memang mencairkan aku!

gambar sekadar hiasan... 😜

it was a short but meaningful and fulfilled weekend for me.. i get to spend my weekend with my 2 fav guys.. 

thank you love.. truly appreciate whatever that you have done and are doing for me at this present time. for loving me, for accepting me as who i am although not 100%.. hehehe 😜 and for being with me when i needed u and layan my kerenah.

wanita hanya ingin dimanja... tettttt 😜

Maldives Here I Come - Ep 02 cont

still on day 1 dive: sorry la you all... ada benda nak cerita tapi haritu terlupa. al maklum lah. ... anyway.. 

during any dive trip .. we will have briefing sebelum dive. biasa lah.. nak cerita dive site tu macamana, apa yang kita boleh jumpa kat situ, and what other things that we should take care of - of course safety is utama. kalau situ current kuat ke, macamana nak turun and hala ke sebelah mana dan lain2 lagi. 

hari2 terakhir - hujung2 of the trip, the DM wrote down all the dive sites that have been visited. which was easier for me to remember apa yang kitorang nampak and experience. so for this posting, it is actually sambungan ep 2 yang aku tertinggal nak cerita kitorang dive kat ship wreck. 

kalau time dive trip, wake up 6.00am, agak2 kalau kat rumah, rajin tak bangun awal2 pagi?.. memang tak la kannn... kitorang semua dikejutkan dari tidur dengan loceng macam loceng ice cream tu. memang berdesing giler ok bunyi dia. tapi kalau dah penat sangat kitorang tak bangun jugak. macam ada satu hari tu, aku dengan Lind terbabas sampai lah, aku tak ingat MR or TK yang datang ketuk pintu bilik kitorang. 

all the dives for the whole of 8 days trip

aku selalu tengok kalau kat movie ke atau documentary bila divers dive kat ship wreck, diorang akan masuk sampai area dalam2 ship wreck tu. but in our case kitorang tak masuk sampai dalam, maybe because it was too deep. kitorang boleh masuk sampai takat 30 metres only. itu pun kadang terlajak jugak deeper than 30 metres.. cuma tak de la deeper than 35 metres. 

MR rajin bawak jalur gemilang for us to take picture underwater. sangat patriotic kan.. tapi kalau dalam air, it was not an easy task. lagi2 nak kena make sure jalur gemilang tu betul sidenya, dengan air lagi, mana nak straight kan lagi.. berpusing2 jugak la kitorang dalam air tu. rasanya gambar aku dengan Lind je betul cuma senget sket. photographer pun dah pening nak ambik gambar kitorang. 

on top of the wreck proudly holding the jalur gemilang #proudmalaysian

Maldives Here I Come - Ep 02

Jan 27, 2019:
first day of my dive in maldives. gugup? nervous? semuanya ada. we get to know which group we are in. and this was also the 1st time aku share bilik dengan Lind. yang best kalau gi dive ni, i get to know new people - make new friends gitu.

it was okay cuma i needed to get use to the small room and goyang2 dek ombak. kalau ombak rindu tu tak payah cakap la kan.. rindu tetap rindu. tettt... okay, disebabkan jarak aku post cerita ni agak lama, so there might be points yang aku akan tertinggal.

we got up early for the 1st dive. and as usual, aku akan cari our Dive Master (DM) for our group and keep close to him/her. that is what i do normally during my dive trips pun. why? sebab selalunya i will struggle masa 1st dive. aku biasa ada masalah nak equalize. and macam tu la jugak yang happened masa my 1st dive kat maldives ni. tapi best... the experience was superb. i saw this beautiful moray eel and pada aku memang unique. and masa kitorang dive tu our DM, Lee dok acah2 1 big pouty fish.. and cantek ikan tu. as a diver, i am a fish person compared to corals. i like colorful fish and different sizes.. kalau creatures lain tu macam bonus la untuk aku.

air laut maldives memang cantik.. the colors.. macam ada different layers. and quite challenging jugak if you ask me.. coz kat maldives, deep dives and current. but seronok lah. aku pakai gambar orang lain sebab camera aku tak de casing.. so by the time deeper than 15m, i cannot take picture already. tu pun nasib baik camera aku ok.

i dont know which fish - so tengok je lah kat sini

cantek kan moray eel ni? :D

and disebabkan pakai dive comp baru - aku masih tercari2 kat mana time for the safety stop tu. best dengan DM Lee, memang dia betul2 jaga aku (which he will do the same to others i am sure), so aku pun depend on his dive comp je la. time tu, i kinda miss my Suunto. but tak pe lah.. guna je lah dah melaburkan duit yang bukan sikit kan? 

our interval lepas dive is always back at Myna Tour boat. 2nd dive best... there was underwater current tapi kitorang semua drift - gosh i really enjoyed myself!! serious best giler.. yang kelakar tu masa dah hujung drift i was a bit far from the rest of the group - and DM Lee came to me and pulled me back to regroup. hahaha 😀 i wish i had it on camera but too bad tak de. 

this is our boat at night

during this trip jugak i dived with the gloves and reef hook. mula2 tu macam tak nak pakai gloves but then again disebabkan current yang kadang2 agak kuat - we need to hold on to whatever yang kitorang boleh capai kat dasar laut tu. first dive tu i did not wear my gloves and jari memang tercucuk apa entah - tajam jugak. tu yang the 2nd dive onwards i started to wear my gloves. still could not find the safety stop timer. 

yang best nampak sharks.. walaupun mula2 macam blur - apa benda yang DM Pino nak tunjuk ni kan. dia ni agak kelam kabut dalam air and sangat laju. 

korang tengok la wetsuit yang aku pakai tu... 2nd day tak pakai dah sebab wetsuit tu dah rabak - reput.. hahaha sib baik tak hancur dalam air.. aku rasa macam after every dive rasa nak update AH of my experience. i think we did 3 dives on the 1st day.. ehh kenapa aku rasa macam lupa eh? dammnn.. 

overthinking

you know some people like to overthink about certain things. aku tak terkecuali. aku pun tak suka apa yang aku rasa sekarang ni and aku try jugak nak brush off - somehow or rather its starting to disturb my emotion. i am trying to be rational. and to do that, i would rather help others with their issues. ie. i'd better check on lisa and see if she is okay. and after a few days and talking / vc-ing with her, i am glad that she feels better now. but, what about me? it is still lingering in my head - whatever that i am / keep on thinking. it will go away eventually - just about a matter of time. 

i am sure when the day and time comes, this is really nothing. or kalau dah after sometime bila baca balik posting ni mesti aku pun akan fikir, la mende la aku dok overthink sangat.. serabut lah. ni yang orang kata sebenarnya setan tu memang tak boleh tengok orang happy - ada je dia nak masukkan rasa sangsi or doubt. 

and memang beza lelaki & perempuan, perempuan will be more expressive. women out there, you will just have to accept the difference. kalau women and men sama, tak de la kita complete each other. kan? tapi.. uurghhh buzz off ... please... it is nothing.. keep on putting these in my head!

note: yes.. i have postings about maldives yang masih due.. tunggu ye... sabar... i might post somethings else about medical yang akan di relate dengan postings aku seterusnya. 

Maldives Here I Come - Ep 01 [MHIC Ep 01]

remember Maldives Here I Come which i posted on Jan 10, 2019? i will be posting 8 episodes of MHIC since i was there for 8 days 😁

Jan 26, 2019: finally the day came. i just recovered from flu and cough. wanted to do another round in the pool but my health condition did not permit me to do so. i really wanted to rest before i can do my dive in maldives.  i had a sweet surprise from AH who sent me off to the airport. nasib baik i sort of asked, so his plan to surprise me did not happen keseluruhannya lah kan. alaa just like the surprise i wanted to do for him months ago in JB. so, yeah we are both well planned people about certain things, so at times, surprises couldn't work on us. 

i told AH that i have this uneasy feelings before i left for maldives. but after a while we both tried to brush it off our minds. he keeps on telling me to have fun. i think i will have fun, just that of course i will miss him. and having his sailing schedule just about the same time as i travel, makes it a bit easier for us. and i hope joey will be okay when i am gone since he was having fever. i have briefed my sisters just in case. 

this time is the 1st time that i took travel insurance for dive and travel just in case. and i am glad i did, just that next time, take from Etiqa, at least it is cashless. 

so, yeah the day came.. AH looked macam berat hati je nak lepaskan aku. i don't know.. it is weird feelings all together. as i entered the immigration area, i called MR coz he is already inside with TN and HS. one more person, TK who is still delayed.. maybe busy dengan wifey kut. hehehe 😀that was what that we thought. 

kitorang belum berapa warmed up. coz, entah, i dont know what to expect.. tak best sangat rasa hati ni tapi aku pujuk jugak hati aku. all of us boarded, and we slept most of the time. at least i did coz the night before tak tido sangat pun. 

arrived at the airport in maldives. 1st impression, gosh it is really hot!!  but happy to be there. we all went to where we were supposed to gather. it was just 5 of us. total should be 23 divers but belum kenal lagi kan. tau all the names from the whatsapp group but aku ni kadang slow nak blend in. so i need time. and plus, aku tau aku tak setegar diorang semua. aku dah lama tak active diving ni, baru start balik last year je kut. 

when i saw the air laut.. subhanallah... cantek nya. and itu baru depan airport okay. belum lagi sampai dekat area2 dive sites. panas tetap panas lah.. kitorang busy sebelum tu, masing2 beli sim card sebab nak pakai nombor maldives supaya senang tak yah bayar hutang phone bills (itu aku lah kan - maklumlah no phone pun office punya)

lepas briefing, kitorang ada masa untuk jalan2 kat male city sebab boat untuk ke boat besar we all it scheduled at 4pm. masa kitorang sampai tu masih pagi. so kitorang pun gerak lah berlima. TK yang lead sebab dia baru je datang maldives dengan family dia somewhere in oct 2018. yang kitorang ni maldives virgins kiranya. tak pasal2 kena kencing dengan sales ferry.. naik ferry sorang USD5 padahal sebenarnya sorang tak sampai pun USD1!! kurang ajar kan? ishhh rasa nak tampor2 jer.. but then again, tak pe la.. tempat orang kut, bersabar je lah. 

dalam boat transfer to the main boat.

dah jalan2 shopping2 sikit, kitorang ambik ferry balik ke airport area and waited for our transport boat. knapsack aku berat sebab ada laptop.. hajat di hati nak blogging in between time. akhirnya, tipu je semua tu.. hahaha 😂

to cut short, our main boat, called myna safari is nice and boleh la dikatakan luxury boat. cuma our bedroom, HS and I punya la comel.. hehehe rasa suffocated jugak but cosy lah. al maklum tak pernah dok atas boat kan. bila tunjuk gambar kat AH, pada dia dah selesa habis dah tu.. hehehe 😀entah lah.. aku tak bersyukur ke? 

our little room

thats US 😉

malam pertama kat boat kitorang lepak je.. kemas2 barang2 and get used to the boat. aku masih stick to 5 of us, although dah start observing some people in the group. we all dah start masukkan all our diving equipment in a box provided. getting excited and nervous jugak. malam tu agak sukar nak tidur sebab terasa berbuai2. i miss AH already..  baru day 1... boleh survive ke another 7 days? 

enjoy the video ya'll 

6 Body Shapes That Tell 6 Different Relationship Facts About Women

if you want to read more you can visit this page: https://curiousmob.com/6-body-shapes-tell-6-different-relationship-facts-women/. i am just choosing what i can apply to me. 😋 hahahaha 😂 jangan kata sis perasan pulak... tapi yang lain2 memang macam tak kena je with my body shape. 

Peanut Shaped

Probably the one shape that everyone actually longs for, peanut shaped girls have thin waists and are blessed with great proportions. They are usually the strong women who are not shy of confidence. They can walk on their own and don’t exactly need the approval of any men. But if they choose to be with somebody, they would prefer somebody of equal confidence and strength.

i will be posting stories about my Maldives Dive Trip soon... so, do come back okay... teaser... there will be 8 episodes... so bear with me while i gather the strength and ideas. i have a lot of stories to share with you .. i will, insyaAllah.. and please pray for me to get back to my usual health. 

Tak Pernah Menyerah

Dalam heningnya malam
Bertaburan bintang
Rembulan pun tersenyum
Pancarkan sinarnya

Seiring waktu berlalu
Menari indah denganmu
Terhanyut dalam mimpiku
Hingga kugapai rasaku

Tak pernah menyerah
Untuk selalu mencuba
Menjadi terbaik untukmu
Dan segalanya

Oh kekasih
Dalam setiap kisah

Selalu ada cinta
Dan ada air mata
Yang pasti mengiringi
'Kan beri cahaya impian

Terang jalani denganmu
Tak pernah menyerah

Untuk selalu mencuba
Menjadi terbaik untukmu
Dan segalanya
Kisah cinta yang telah terbina

Tak terhapus waktu
Dan yakinlah ku 'kan selalu milikmu
Kebahagiaan selamanya nyata
Tak pernah menyerah
Untuk selalu mencuba

Menjadi terbaik untukmu
Dan segalanya
'Tuk selalu mencuba
Menjadi terbaik untukmu
Dan segalanya
O-oh ...
Kekasih
Kekasih

whatever it is, perkara yang baik insyaallah Allah permudahkan, keep on praying for the best for us okay 🤗

Terlalu Rindu

Cahaya mentari di pagi hari
Sinarnya kaburi pandanganku ini
Hembusan angin menemani perjalananku
Yang menuju ke hatimu kekasih

Tapi mengapa ku masih rasa begini
Bila mahu bertemu mahu saja jerit

Terlalu rindu, terlalu rindu
Jujur aku terlalu rindu
Tiada lain selain rindu
Terlalu rindu, terlalu rindu
Jujur aku terlalu rindu
Tiada lain selain rindu

Oh bulan mana bintang
Mana dia kekasih seorang
Bantulah aku, aku dah buntu
Bintang di langit janganlah bersembunyi
Usahlah membisu bilang dia rindu aku

Ku tak perlu semua hadiah darimu
Ku cuma mahu kau ada depanku
Ku tak perlu semua hadiah darimu
Ku cuma mahu kau ada di depanku

Terlalu rindu, terlalu rindu
Jujur aku terlalu rindu
Tiada lain selain rindu
Terlalu rindu, terlalu rindu
Jujur aku terlalu rindu
Tiada lain…

while doing my work at  the office, received this via whatsapp... and you know i miss you as much too.. 👄