are you happy

confession: i have pending postings. time is so jealous of me. mood is running up and down - thanks to pms. 

i am being condemned for being what/who i am - as in for being expressive about my own feelings. perhaps for being happy with people who do not meet their criteria. but do these people matter? what they think of me? and their criteria in my life? i can accept opinions but how you say it seems like it is more of dissatisfaction from your side then trying to make me see what i may not be able to see. 

copy paste from my pending posting: "before u continue reading this posting, let me warn you that at this point of time, i am having this mixed feelings about what i am feeling and what i am trying to express. 

i am not sure if i am angry - coz i did laughed out loud about it. some people like to judge about other people, full stop. they think they know everything about me or how i am feeling just because i can get excited. i am an expressive person. maybe i changed throughout the years. no one stays the same after many many years right? they grow to be someone else - just that whether they turn to be a better person, or not". 

current: for the record, i am aware of what is going on, just that i honestly do not know yet where this is heading. as much as he said i make him happy and he makes me happy and somewhat almost complete. and my doa that i ask continuously from Him... if he is the one for me, please make it easier for me, for us. and if he is not the one for me, please distance us from each other - and make these feelings go away.