follow your heart but

.. remember to bring your brain with you.

this is the usual statement when it involves matter of the heart. my close friends once told me, hati aku fragile. aku senang jatuh hati kat orang...#bodo 😁 sebab tu kut senang jugak koyak #bahasalisa. ok ke mana arah tuju posting ni sebenarnya? lol 😂

ok la aku ni luar nampak macho tapi dalam hati memang ada taman. kadang2 aku boleh control and kadang2 emotion aku control aku. and for me to control myself and akan menyebabkan tangan2 aku sejuk, dada aku berdebar2 - ha macam sekarang ni lah. memang aku rasa tak tentu arah sebenarnya. tapi aku rasa aku kena control sket ke-excitement-an aku ni. ok perkataan ni tak wujud dalam kamus, but you get what i mean la kan.

he gives me that excitement and happiness but the fact that i know so little about him, from himself makes me make a step back.. or perhaps 2 steps back. when he told me yesterday "tun ckp, kalau makan, sebelum kenyang berhenti. baru sedap rasa nikmat. overdose of everything is not good" aku terasa macam dusyum kat muka aku semalam and terus rasa macam jantung aku drop gedebuk kat tanah. apa dia cakap memang betul and aku terus tarik handbrake aku. and bila aku borak jugak dengan EK, dia dah tunjuk muka 😠 aku terus suspen. 

perlu ke aku selfish sebab aku happy? or maybe, i can enjoy this moment a lil while longer? he also mentioned, brain and heart cannot come together, selalu conflict... **sigh** sekarang aku sebak and sedih siot... dada aku sakit. aku rindu tapi... aku suka rasa macam ni.. tapi aku takut jugak kalau jatuh.. sakit kowt... or maybe this can be a happy ending in my life.. siapa tau... khennn.. will you pray for my happiness? pwweessss..