king of wishful thinking

heard this song on the way to the office just now... and wow... the lyrics.. :) been listening to the song last time... and Pretty Woman was one of the movie that i like, because of julia roberts and richard gere... :) and of course, she was saved by the prince... and live happily ever after :P


i don't need to fall at your feet
Just 'cause you cut me to the bone
And I won't miss the way that you kiss me
We were never carved in stone
If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..

I'll get over you..
I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself
I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I am the king of wishful thinking

I refuse to give in to my blues
That's not how it's going to be
And I deny the tears in my eyes
I don't want to let you see.. no
That you have made a hole in my heart
And now I've got to fool myself..
I'll get over you..
I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself
I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking..

I'll get over you..
I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself
I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

I will never, never shed a tear for you
I'll get over you
If I don't listen to the talk of the town
Then maybe I can fool myself..

I'll get over you..
I know I will
I'll pretend my ship's not sinking
And I'll tell myself
I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking
I'm the king of wishful thinking

I'll get over you..
I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
But I won't shed a tear for you
I'll be the king of wishful thinking
I'll get over you..
I'll pretend my heart's still beating'cause
I've got no more tears for you
I'm the king of wishful thinking..

I'll get over you.. I know I will
You made a hole in my heart
And I'll tell myself
I'm over you
'cause I'm the king of wishful thinking

more postings

just when i thot i wouldnt have the time, mood etc... to write, thats when more ideas coming in... oh my.... i just read what i wrote previously, and i dont think thats appropriate :/ hmmm...

its getting more depressing watching satc.. perhaps the only thing that i like watching that is about the friendship of the 4 girls... and they are always together during their ups and downs of each one of them.... its so sweet... and you know when you feel shitty and feel like crying, you know whom to call. :)

i just kissed joey goodnight. he has already asleep with my dad tonight. i just got back with N4 from the guesthouse... tidying the place for NY eve. yeaahhh again.... long story... and i am really tired...

i've a wedding to go to tomorrow... and not sure if i am even going, coz....

good night everyone... sleep tight :)

satc episode

errmmm am i gonna write in my blog each time i finish watching 1 cd of satc? hehehe :D looks like it. last night after signing off, i still couldnt sleep, so i ended up watching 1 and a half episode of satc. really wanted to know what happened to charlotte after she broke up. but my laptop's batt went low... was too lazy to hook on the plug... i just went off to bed. i think i am already on eposide 5.5 :P and i dont think i am carrie at all.. :( i dont wear all those branded stuff... well, not really so crazy about branded stuff... and i dont go show off bringing that kind of weird evening handbag for theatres or dinner... a simple small handbag or clutch will do... what she had was too fancy. and errr... she's quite demanding in her relationship which i think it was quite uuhhmmm... tight. can be stressful. *sigh* watching satc can be quite depressing too especially when those things happened between a guy and a gal, and when you can relate to your life... it was like.. 'yeah... that happened to me to!' or '*sad* so he is just not interested' .... and makes you feel like, can u ever believe what a man say at all??? or do they mean what they say? or do they say it just to get into your pants? sheeshhh.... dont want to even think about it... but maybe it happen somewhere around us... which we only notice, now?

he's just not into you

yeah... when i thot i wouldnt be in the mood to write in my blog... something just came straight into my head after watching SATC.. the latest season. yeah... i am slow... when the season is over then only i will get excited watching them. well anyway, it makes me happy, so what if i am a bit late :P boo!

well anyway... the conclusion is, its good to have opinion from a guy about another guy's mind. it saves a lot of energy and getting hurt. BUT, not from a guy who thinks they know you so well, when they actually dont... ;) and yeah... it helps.. you wont get hurt that much, and you are back in control of your own emotions. the thing with women, or to most women are that, they tend to be positive about lots of things, and they want to believe that the day will always end beautiful, but you know what... in reality, it doesnt work that way. you just need to know from another guy that 'he's just not into you' :) and hey.... its okay ;) move on

and from now on, maybe i should just stop talking too much... and keep what i feel to myself, coz it has somehow ruined something that i treasure - a good friendship - in my own terms ;)

joelis and i had a wonderful time at a friend's house for christmas dinner tonight :) joelis get to meet up with AZ's and KR's kids and play, while us, the parents get to catch up on things. i learnt something new today, although its all about the past. i wished that i had known it earlier, but, i've got beautiful kids because of it and with that, i have no regrets... and i am so thankful that at least i am out of misery and curiosity in my head about someone whom i thought i knew so well.. alhamdulillah i am out... and no turning back... and i've already decided that more than a year ago, and glad with that decision... good luck.. :D hehehe...

better call it a night.... starting to have dark circles.. :P ein signing off at 120am :)

good bye 2007 - welcome 2008

not sure if i get to write - as in if i will have the mood to write :P duuhh... hehehe... had a wonderful year in 2007 despite all the roller coaster rides that i am / have been going through.. LOL.... drama! well at least i get all the excitements.... adrenaline rush and all... hahaha :D more drama! well anyway.... i would like to close the year 2007 with happiness as i believe that 2008 will a better year for me and joelis, of course... work harder... no more getting hurt... ahaksss.... more exciting activities with family and friends... and of course, will be more diving trips!!! oh that is FOR SURE!!! already plan on things with AA that we'll be clocking 20 dives before we go for our advance..

had a good lunch today with my friends - good laugh - happy times - although not that good food. had a good chat with a friend in CT who has been cheering me up when i was down. Thanks CS... :) thats what friends are for.. :P although i dont quite agree on the s$% part.... :P hahaha... LOL... yeahhh.. you've been sweet..

oh yes... i will be working on monday laa... what laa... okay la.. gtg... getting ready for dinner tonight! :)

chow babes!!

:) tgif

wow... i dont expect to get this after answering all the questions! :D hehehe :D

gonna have a good long weekend.. looking forward to attend a christmas dinner tonight at a friend's place... will be seeing other friends attending as well.. and yeup will put up some photos, i hope..

joelis are going out with their dad this afternoon playing ice-skating.. well thats their original plan. joelis were already getting excited and put on their gloves this morning while i was rushing getting ready to work :)

hmmm what else... errmmm wedding on sunday... hopefully i can make it as my sisters and i are suppose to prepare the guesthouse for the party on NYeve... compiling some dance songs.

alamak... got to go....laterssss...

past in present

can the past be in the present? i think it shouldnt be - unless you can be open minded about it. :) how many of us can really take it, listening to your current partner's stories about what has happened with their exs? i think for most women, they can either listen while in their head saying 'hey, i dont need all this stories planted' or at least something like 'errmm do i really need to know all these?'

on the other side, sad to say i wouldnt know what a man would react if their current partners were to talk about their exs. one thing my mom always tell me, never tell your current man of your previous relationships... as men will get it back at you. and you know what, i believe her 100%, and why? coz it happened to me! so i supposed... just leave your past, and look forward for a wonderful time at present... and i am so like carrie bradshaw... that i agree.. sometimes i just need to talk it out about whatever thats in my head or i will have it playing over and over in my mind like a broken jumpy CD. which is absolutely not good! no no no... not good for my migraine :P

*sigh* i'd better be going home now... as i have told my joey that i wont be late :)

have a good day for whatever's left of the day people... coz, i had a good today! :*

well, guys out there - if you are reading this, do let us know what you think :)

pass you by

- boys II men

one of my fav group :) and a friend dedicated this song to me today

She was like nothing I'd ever known
Her eyes shine like diamonds in a field of snow
Man. that destiny led her to me
Made her feel that life was now complete

A thousand days have passed
And nights gone by
You can see the glow slowly fading from her eyes
Though she denies her pain and her dismay
Know I said this to her anyway

Don't have to stay with someone that makes you cry
You'll end up killing all the love you have inside
Can't hope to see the sun
If you don't open your eyes
Girl don't let real love pass you by

Ooh oh no
Ooh don't let real love pass you by
I know you are nervous
But take it from me
Cause you deserve so much more than you receive
Listen to your heart and let it show
Don't hold on to your pain
Just let it go, let it go

Don't have to stay with someone
That makes you cry
You'll end up killing all the love you have inside
Can't hope to see the sun
If you don't open your eyes
Girl don't let real love pass you by

Oh yeah
Girl don't let real love pass you by
You can find a love you need
If you set your heart free
Girl...Don't have to stay with someone
That makes you cry
Don't be discouraged baby
Don't let real love pass you by

Don't have to stay with someone
That makes you cry
You'll end up killing all the love you have inside
Can't hope to see the sun
If you don't open your eyes
Girl don't let real love pass you by

Don't you let nothing
Don't let no one take you away from love
Don't let real love pass you by
You'll see I know, I know, I know
You'll be alright
Don't let real love pass you by
You just can believe in love, in love, in love, in love
Don't let real love pass you by
Oh yeah
Don't let real love pass you by
Ooh, yeah
Don't let real love pass you by
Don't let, don't let, don't let, don't let
Don't let, don't let, don't let, don't let
Don't let real love pass you by
Oh yeah, oh
Don't let real love pass you by...

6 days at home! :)

despite some shitty moments, i had a nice time being at home, with my kids and family... and spending some time with friends too.

eid adha - had the simplest celebration ever! we had a family gathering for breakfast, took lots of crazy pictures :D N3 had her friend came for Raya. my friend came... and we ended up at the guesthouse installing water heater, and me cleaning up the place with joelis watching tv... my dad never misses giving us presents on hari raya :)

xmas eve - the whole family had dinner at the guesthouse. it was an impromptu decision. decided on sunday during the visit at my aunt's place in shah alam. we were thinking, why dont we have xmas dinner - just for fun.. and my parents were okay with the idea. told my eldest sister and coincidently she already bought a whole turkey and she planned to roast it. so, its dinner at the guesthouse! N1 roasting the turkey, N2 preparing the venue and supposedly the salad, N3 prepares potato salad, N4 just make sure that she comes home on time. but in the end, N2 had to pass over the duty to N4 as she found the guesthouse was in a mess due to some hacking works. joelis helped out with blowing the balloons and tied up the balloons to the strings before i hang them on the wall. while joelis were blowing the balloons, i became a superwoman cleaning the whole place and washing up 2 bathrooms, arranging the chairs and preparing the table for dinner. i was glad that all of them arrived quite late unlike our usual dinner time right after maghrib prayers. they arrived around 830pm, i think.... all were starving... and the best part was, all the kids had lots of vege that night!! the turkey was yummy.. and after having dessert, lisa and kelly prepared an impromptu dance performance - hindi song! it was fantastic that they came up with the steps within 30 minutes!! both of them were wearing the punjabi suit that N1 bought during the day. joey did a solo performance after that with his hip hop dance :D N1 and family went home at around 11pm, while the rest of the family members put up a night at the guesthouse. :)

how we spent christmas day - i got up earlier than usual, prepared simple breakfast for the whole family. my dad had to leave early as its his fishing day today. so, parents and N3 left soon after breakfast. i decided to go for a swim with joelis, while N4 enjoying her breakfast and tv. it was a good swim... it relaxed my cloudy mind for a while. ordered roti canai as requested by lisa. and after awhile i waited by the pool while joelis were still playing in the pool.. i sort of fallen asleep :P heh...heh.. :D it was so nice lying by the pool after a swim... well anyway... later we picked up the roti canai and went upstairs... after tidying up the place, we drove home...

felt like needed to do something... i decided to go to the curve/ikano. i got hooked on fb for a while. lisa was already restless... in the end, she decided not to come along. so, it was just me, N4 and joey. bought 2 pairs of jeans for lisa and all her jeans became too tight :P. got a transformer tshirt for joey. saw the tugu drum circle group there...!! love them!! oh yes, joey get to experience the snow... yeup.. snow in malaysia :) manmade..of course... lots of people around, i had to hold on to joey's tshirt as he got too excited to get in the middle of the crowd - and i wanna make sure i dont lose him!! :D we took lots of pictures... and love them all. :) wish lisa came with us... but i guess, nothing can be compared to the real snow. its okay, joelis, one day, i will take you both to experience the real snow! ;)

had a great day today... ein signing off at 1212am - thinking.. if only this body and mind is not built by Allah swt, it would have crushed long time ago. whatever had happened - there is a reason behind it. and only He knows whats the reason and whats best for me... Ya Allah berikan lah ketenangan itu. and i am thankful to You, for all the wonderful times with the wonderful people that You have given me this year - although its temporary, alhamdulillah.

ahhh this cough syrup is good.. i am getting sleepy!

fun night

before i start telling about the fun night. right now i am feeling macam cilako... siol... its a stupid feeling.. sepatutnya tak ada... tapi dia ada jugak... arrgghhh.... buhsan betul... menyampah... kalau aku boleh penuhkan page ni dengan maki hamun, aku rasa dah lama penuh page nie... semua akan keluar termasuk lah binatang hidung penyek tuh... or mungkin si kayu arang yang menggedik macam ulat sampah kat tong sampah yang dah lama tak dikutip dbkl. haa macam tu lahh... pakal aku tak macam tuh... sah sah aku tak terjeling pun. atau mungkin andaian aku jer. iirrgghhh dah keluar asap telinga dan hidung aku, kalau lah aku naga tasik chini! ergghhh...

well anyway, i was on leave last friday. just lepakking at home. listening to my mom nagging, and that's when i wish i was at work :( and actually i was working online checking on a few stuff that came into the mailbox... urgent matters etc etc... my sister took joelis balik kampung. i was told of the kenduri too late, had already accepted an invitation from CM who was planning a surprise birthday party for her husband. sweet isnt? :) i waited till 240pm for my elder sister to pick up joelis and my other younger sister, while i got a lift to the lrt heading towards klcc for my appointment.

left klcc around 6ish... we got onto the new highway, reached cyberviewlodge just before 7pm... just nice for maghrib prayers and proceed to the italian bistro. nice place...nice ambience.. cosy... food.. so so... :( not many choices. but its the company that counts ;) had a wonderful time... after dinner we headed to the 'treehaus' where we were the only guests around... 11 of us.. some played pool and some of us went into the karaoke room... no that many choice of songs... but ok lah. :) and i played pool for the first time! yay... :D i was a bit shy actually... so i waited for all the guys to go into the karaoke room, then i played the pool coached by SA and CM... CM was good man...!!

after that we took a group photo and went to CM's Suite and it was wowww.... just like a whole apartment... and i wonder how much it cost per night?!! :O

really had fun! thanks CM for inviting :)

head over feet

another song by alanis morissette... i am so liking her now... :D :P

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it
You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was
You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault
Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole

You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service
You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help itIt's all your fault
You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me

Thanks for your patience
You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long
I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now I am aware now
You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

happy eid adha

happy eid adha to all my muslim readers. :) i am writing my blog while waiting for my turn for a massage. we had lots of food for breakfast today. from rice with rendang, chicken kuzi ( i think) roti jala made by my elder sister, bread pudding, cheese hi-fiber, lemang, to fettucini carbonara for the kids.

went to the guesthouse to clean up... it was in a mess after the contractors did the sink in the kitchen. very dusty... cleaned up 1 bathroom, mopped the whole place... and i got exhausted.

something funny happened yesterday morning. when someone whom i used to know smsed me early in the morning, told me that he dreamed of me - pregnant! hmmmm rezeki tuh... so, somehow, i replied to his sms saying, no, i am not pregnant - but i am married! :O gulppp... and guess what... he actually called me at the office to ask who my husband is.. duhhh... it is non of his business, really! but it was fun hearing him begging to know whom i am married to. and my guess is, he will be curious till now! and i intend to let him be :P

special dedication to a friend

i got this from a wedding card that belongs to my friend. and i'd like my dear readers to read the wordings as, it made me think of the truth behind it... and made me evaluate myself, kekurangan dan kelebihan yang ada pada diri sendiri...

bismillahirahmanirrahim

tak perlu mencari teman secantik Balqis, andai diri tak sehebat Sulaiman. Mengapa mengharapkan teman setampan Yusof jika kasih tak setulus Zulaikha. Tak perlu mengharapkan teman seteguh Ibrahim andai diri tak sekuat Siti Hajar dan mengapa didambakan teman hidup bak Siti Khadijah kalau diri tak sesempurna Rasulullah SAW. Bimbinglah dia & terima kekurangan itu sebagai keunikan, carilah kebaikan padanya, bersyukurlah kerana dipertemukan & berdoalah diakan terus menjadi milikmu....

and i would like to dedicate this too to my friend whom i have offended by telling him what i think. perhaps, this will make it clear on what my intention was... and not to judge him.

super mom in action

...again.. :) had a great day today... lots of things happening around. i was actually glued to my seat at the office. when, suddenly i thot... hemmmphh maybe its good to have lunch with someone whom i've never had lunch with.. :P and... lisa is commenting what i am typing right now :D so, gave him a buzz and ask if he is free... and i can see his new office :D tried to finish up as much as i can on my work...took the lrt and there i was.... we had lunch with 2 of his friends.. and he commented on my blog... okay..okay.. i hear you.. :P the nasi ayam was good.. the soup needs more salt... his office is convenientlah.... bukak pintu je dah food court. :) had a good chat and laugh.. kena bebel pun iyer jugak... hmmm... tried to get back to the office as soon as i can..

continue till about 8pm... getting hungry and i was the last one to leave the office.. left the ofc around 830pm.. got home 20 minutes later. had dinner.. ikan keli masak lemak cekur... slluurrpp sedapnya... with sambal belacan and ulam raja :D yummyy... lisa came to the kitchen, and we both went to do groceries... later got an sms from our designer on the calendar design.. its ready... so, we planned to meet up at 1030pm after my groceries shopping. done shopping... unload stuff from the car... went upstairs... joey dah merajuk coz i did not take him to do groceries shopping.. :D hehehe... kissed him... peluk2 sikit... dia dah okay :D went out again - and... ada lagi changes... hmmm.. looks like tomorrow last... kena settle jugak nak tak nak...

so, 1130pm.. balik rumah... main facebook kejap... poke here and there... thought of watching dvd.. but.. i think i should sleep.. :) hopefully to get out of the house early... as our designer will be in kl by 8am something... OMG, i am drained out...

oh yes... i read lisa's new blog... and it was really funny... :D hehehe... she asked if i have read her blog and i told her i was too busy at the office.. thats why i can only read it tonight. :)

lastly... this super mom had a great day despite the busy-ness :D :P good night everybody... sleep tight..

ein signing out.. 1256am.

hoping for a fresh start

getting a slight headache right now.. dunno why... somehow, i felt a bit relieved :) well, you know sometimes, when you feel that there is a burden, just let it go.. and dont put on so much hope.. the most important thing i guess, have the courage to let it out. thats what i did today. cant keep too much things in my head at the same time. my system cant take it anymore.. no more worries.. shoot them out. had another breakdown last night. got to talk it out... with of course more tears and its really tiring. no, i did not do that on purpose... i think its because whatever that is bothering me has not fully settled, that's why... :(

whatever it is, the day ended okay. :) half of the day spent in the room, watching dvd - stardust. it was a cute funny movie actually...

oh yes, went out with a couple of friends to the WR last night. we arrived at around 11 somthg i think... had a drink at the coffee house first before going to WR. it was okay.. i wasnt really in the mood for dancing, so i had my loafers on, instead of the heels... and was on my simplest outfit - favorite stripe tshirt and jeans.

people watching activity was fun... although my mind is still elsewhere.. just needed something to do to divert... the first person that caught my attention was a mat salleh.. hmmm cant run away from that now, can i? hmmm.... just for a while tho... and there's 1 guy wearing white shirt, also with a mat salleh... and i think the guy i was looking at was not a malay... he's tall, could be a 6 footer... and a bit scruffy looking face. and there's another one, who is less tall than the white shirt guy, but he was much cooler... quiet :) and standing right next to me. hehehe :D but yeah... siapa la aku kan, nak compare dengan aweks2 kat situ especially when sazzy falak was standing next to me too! *sigh* there goes... my angan2... went back quite early and my eyes started to get smokey....

hmm i guess that's all for this weekend. hopefully i will have a great week ahead.. and more emails coming from oz. :)

ein saying goodnight at 11.02pm - sleep tight! :*

a long weekend

worked the whole day today. since morning... had some photoshoot to do at the studio. it was okay - quite fun. it was done by around 5pm. my sister already smsed me telling me that she's bored. drove home, waited for joelis to shower, and we all went to klcc.

lisa got a pair of sleeping slippers from la senza. i took joey to clarks... found the boots that i wanted.. tried them on... but the price was quite...hmmm :) left the shop, went to mng, met my seniors from school :D meet up again with my sister and lisa... tried the boots again... and now i cant forget about it.... should i? :(

ehh... sehati berdansa!!!! bye...

huh?

"My Immortal" - evanescence

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

[Chorus]

hand in my pocket

by alanis morissette

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm worthless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette

What it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign

I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm shy but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chicken shit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano

What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxicab...

dedicating this song to my friend who's on holiday :)

her smile

she is smiling again... things are gettting better or at least will get better :) had an early discussion with the designer's middle man on the company's calendar... and as she was driving to work, received a call from a colleague from the office. they are sending the boxes now.. !! and she was only 10 minutes away from the office... gulp... ein schumacher... here she comes... with the new tyres... her car is not vibrating anymore... so, anytime... 120kmh only...... unlike last time.. :P

had a bad dream last night. i was in the car driving with my sister when 2 guys on a motorbike crash our windscreen. i told my sister to hit that bike.. she did, and the guys fell off the bike, but they manage to get up and grab their bike again. i took the wheels, and chase after them till one road... i hit those guys with the car. they fell down, i went out of the car and actually fought with them.. i had cuts and bruises all over my face.. and after a while, one of my close friend came over.. but he just ignored me.. :( he was talking about work and did not even bother asking if i was okay. it was sad.... and actually affected me in the morning. :( :( but aahh... i shouldnt get carried away... it was just a dream.

lisa misses my mom so much... my mom is away for a holiday with my elder sister's family... kesian dia.. :) i was supposed to be on leave today and take joelis there too but work is killing me... and i dont think i'd be able to drive all the way to awana kijal terengganu... tak per lah.. will think of something towards end of the year. :) really need a break.

can i still be myself when i am with him? :(

chak!

here i am at starbucks transferring loads of songs from SA's external harddisk to my laptop.. and SA was 'kind' enough to let me listen to this one 'happy' song by diana ross - missing you... duhhh...

sent a friend back for a holiday yesterday. felt relieved as i have said what i needed to say. hoping that nothing will change. it was a bit ackward but hmmphh... let it be lah. after that, i went to the bookstore, bought myself a book to read while waiting for my sister to arrive at KLIA - to pick up my dad at LCCT coming back from Surabaya. and... i missed iris!! aahhh... left my car at the office originally, and thought of car pooling with any of my colleague, but then ... changed my mind and picked up my car at the office at 1130pm, with lisa. called SA on the way home.. he was at one of the makan place with james and rhino. heard james were testing rhino's new bimmer... pergghh... nice number.. but i prefer a 3 series :P ordered roti pisang through SA coz i was so starving... and my dad ordered roti canai. got home... ate half of the roti pisang, went upstairs took a shower, and slept straight after isya' prayer... and i felt so relaxed! and slept like a baby.

and today, got at the office late... :( my head is too tired... really need a break... maybe i should go somewhere with my kids... joey has been asking me to organise his birthday party... i went... oh'oh... errmmm now i dont know what to talk about... my head is elsewhere :P:P wuuhuuu.... tummy is playing rock band... very hungry... going back soon, have dinner... and watch tv with my darling joelis!! miss them so much... till later.... :)

oh yess... received nice photos taken at GG's wedding, GG asked if i can pass them to MB.. and already did.. wish i can put one of the photos here but... dont want you guys to think i am being mushy :P

honesty - trust

people acts in many ways. people get hurt in different ways. no matter how prepared you think you are, but its human nature to let the emotions spoilt everything. i will become mean and cold hearted after a few incidents. well, not really cold hearted but just more cautious in trusting the opposite gender. perhaps, i am 'what you see is what you get' kinda person - hence automatically i trust that those people whom i am close with would be on the same wave length. at least be truthful about your actions. *sigh* lessons learnt. get up and move forward, ein. will i trust the opposite gender again? perhaps, it'll be more difficult to convince me. what is spoken - doesnt mean that it meant anything - anything at all - just words, to make the listener feel good hearing nice things that someone would normally enjoy to hear

good night people and ein signing of at 157am. MB is going back for his holidays, and hope he'll have a good christmas back home

courage

life goes on... and only God knows how i feel.. dan aku tak salahkan sesiapa.. kecuali aku yang alpa dengan ketentuan Illahi... sesungguhnya Allah swt knows what is best for me. and despite the sadness.. i had a good time with joelis and close friends. can you imagine putting a smile eventhough you are hurting inside? :/

just another episode

original content deleted

the enchanted

love the movie... heheh :D yeah i am so into fairy tales... my youngest sister said that i am stuck in the 80s... and me with fairy tales movie... anytime.... princes...princesses... knight on a horse... anytime... i just love being in the fairy tale world... why? coz, they live happily ever after, that's why. errmmm but not in the reality world. the movie was cute and relaxing... am so glad that i bought the tickets earlier yesterday. i got home, changed into something more comfortable, had dinner at home and off we went to klcc. stopped by at edmunser, collected my suits... yeup... got 3 pairs... hahaha :D i have tried them on yesterday, but since i dont have my wallet with me, i asked the nice salesgirls to keep them for me. and i ended buying another pair of slacks. the movies started 15 minutes late... and 2 hours in there was not that long... it was fun... sweet romantic comedy... just my kind of movie ahaksss.... and now i am getting carried away again! :P oh well... joey enjoyed himself... so did lisa... they had a good laugh and so did i! the good thing is, i managed to forget about work for a while... and.. learned this... 'alamak' = 'oh no!' heheheh.... why do i want to remember that? because, i often used 'alamak' when i go out with MB... and just wondering if he understands what that means. :) drove straight home after movie, catch 'iris' on tv for 5 minutes... and now, writing my blog and playing scrabulous at the same time! cool huh! ;) but loading it is so slow maybe because there are too many people playing on fb now.. oh yes... cant wait for the year end dinner tomorrow! now i am getting sleepy... 2 more days to go to the weekend!! i want my 'robert'!!! nope... dont want prince edward... i want 'robert'!!! dreamingggggg..... oopppss sillly me, the movie that we watched was called 'the enchanted' :)

and joey merajuk lagi.... i really have to do something to toughen him up.... he is so manja :)

what a day!

i should say yesterday - yes? a'hah! started very early morning before 8am where i had to transfer a few photos for the office calendar to be passed to our designer. and suddenly there was an sms.... hmmm emergency, my staff is running late and i am in a meeting myself outside of the office.. gosh...gulp... no good... another 45 minutes before the counter opens for our customers.... quickly sms a colleague.... phew... he's already at the office.. got that covered!! phew...

reached at the office slightly later... had to prepare a few documents for customers.. and had another meeting in a few minutes. hmmm okay.. got it done half way... and off i go with a colleague of mine to the meeting. in the middle of the meeting, got a call from the office asking for a report asap! duhhh.... luckily the meeting lasted for only about 1 hour.. got to the office 30 minutes later and printed the report! that's done... not so bad isnt? :)

went out for lunch with the usual energy people :P why do i call them that? coz, our company provides energy, thats why... :P well anyway... had lunch, got something for the end of year dinner gifts exchange on thursday :) yes!!! got back at the office.... belum pun hangat kerusi... another colleague called me up, 'kak ain, can we have a meeting on the exhibition?' errmmm i was like... errkkksss... 'i am in the middle of something here... can you give me till 330pm, please?' and i have only 20 minutes to settle what i was doing.. :( and of course, not done... left it and went for the meeting...

meeting went well... and i was so relieved that my boss will be going with me. so in the end... hopefully 4 of us are going... the not so good news is, i am the only one who'll be on the economy class... what to do... not that high position maaa... :P sokay lah... small matter... and maybe, i will end up staying at a cheaper room... which i dont mind as long as still in the same hotel... errmmm can i??? :( now i am worried... what if? what if??

later in the evening... the feeling came again.. shite! i hate that feeling... tried to brush it off, but it's still there... aahhh.... tried to chat with WN... it didnt help... maybe i was to shy to errmm talk to him, coz he seems to be busy... and i had tears running down my cheek ... again... double shite! smsed SA... asked where he was... you guys must be asking.... how come i dont call james nowadays? hmmm good question... dunno... kecik hati maybe... :/ malas nak kacau... he doesnt care... not like before... or maybe aku yang terasa? entah la.. biarlah... well i can be over sensitive at times... biasa la... i am a cancerian :) well anyway... my voice was already trembling.. SA smsed and asked what's going on... and i just told him that i am getting another breakdown... *sigh*... to cut story short... we decided to meet up in klcc... so i packed my things... drove to klcc... with the thought in my mind - want to buy tickets for a movie tomorrow night with my kids. and guess what??!!

i could not find my wallet!!! yeup... i am the woman who uses a wallet and not a purse... so what?! :P i like to be different.. well not that different.. anymore... and i cant leave klcc.... no money to pay the parking ticket even! called SA... met him at the dome entrance... and we walked to the cinema... and hey!! no queue!! but... ( me.... no wallet!! :(( huwaaaa... SA handed RM50 to me... and i used that to buy tickets... and we thought of going to have kuey tiow with CM and SS... but me, being unstable... changed my mind... we ended up sitting at starbucks.. and i learned ...yesss i just killed a cockroach a while ago!! ooopsss sorry... distraction... where was i? oh yes.. learned how to use the internet from starbucks... hee..hee.. :D

got home on the dot 1030pm.. managed to catch the drama series.. iris! and as usual, i will get carried away and affected watching it... questions for this week --> would i do that? nope... i will not marry another if i am in love with another person, no matter how nice the other person is. why should i? or, what's the point having me physically if his heart is not with me? i'd rather not have it at all.... or maybe, its easier for men? and no, i will not marry another either just for the sake of revenge. cant give a man all if i dont have feelings for him... wont deny that people can do crazy things at times without even thinking... yikesss it hurts!! errmm.... better stop right here... before i cause more questions on my readers' mind. shucksss!!!

i better go to sleep.... :( and yes.... i feel down today.. just sad.. and alone... why? :( there's something that's bothering me... and i choose to ignore it ... for the time being... it'll go away..

ein signing off at 130am and looking at joey sleeping just beside me :)

when you are gone :(

I always needed time on my own

I never thought I'd need you there when I cry

And the days feel like years when I'm alone

And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away

I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

When you're gone

The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone

All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day

And make it OK

I miss you

I've never felt this way before

Everything that I do

Reminds me of you

And the clothes you left they lie on my floor

And they smell just like you

I love the things that you do

When you walk away

I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

When you're gone

The face I came to know is missing too

And when you're gone

The words I need to hear to always get me through the day

And make it OK

I miss you

We were made for each other

Out here forever

I know we were

Yeah Yeah

All I ever wanted was for you to know

Everything I do

I give my heart and soul

I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me

Yeah

When you're gone

The pieces of my heart are missing you

When you're gone

The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone

The words I need to hear will always get me through the day

And make it OK

I miss you

sunday morning!

feeling quite fresh this morning. had some cleaning up to do... upstairs... upon instruction by mommy dearest...hik..hik.. :D cleared the computer table. vaccumed the family room, told joelis to take their shower. everything done before 9am. hmmm not bad... went downstairs, bibik had breakfast ready for us. yay... bibik prepared cucur tepung and fried rice. i had the cucur tepung @ cekodok. and now, doing my work at the dining... since 930am... i am getting tired... gotta take a break.. took the short sweet break - hugged lisa for 2 minutes! :P hehehe :D going for the office photoshoot in a while.. and maybe later i can take a break.... looking forward for the fun break... if it happens... :P and now... i wanna look for joey.... gonna give him one big hug before joey and lisa goes for lunch with my parents and sister while i have to work... :( runningggg.....!!!

its dec already?

You are unstoppable today, ain. You are feeling fit and looking great. There is nothing you can't do. This is likely to be a social day, filled with new faces and places. The aspect at play strongly suggests that you are about to receive a windfall of some sort. Perhaps that raise or promotion will come through. If it doesn't, consider speaking to your boss about it. You know you are deserving.

wow.... yes.. i like what it says.. heh..heh :P i just finished watching sehati berdansa with the whole family... thats a weekly 'event' on saturday nights :) other than every tuesday night watching 'jelatang' and oh yes... 'iris' from tuesday to thursday. and yeup i get carried away watching dramas like that.

had a great night last night with the usual hang out group, AA, Angelina, Angelina's sister, SA, James.. hmm what else, my car overheated for the 2nd time in less than 2 weeks. sent to the service centre, changed the radiator. hopefully no more major things happening to my car. was at the guesthouse with my elder sister's family and the kids went swimming.. and after lunch, i slept... although 5 kids were running around the house. :P i had a bad migraine... :(

errrmm.. really not in the mood to write my blog now... :( my mind is at work... but i have no idea to put in the write up... help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!