its haunting me...

felt so relieved today after finishing 2 months' report for the monthly meeting. get to chat with angelina for a while. she asked if i had any plans for the weekend for us to go out to celebrate my birthday. hmmm... i wasnt even thinking about celebrating.. suddenly i feel sad. the incident that happened last year, on my birthday is haunting me back. i had tears in my eyes. i felt really sad and stupid for that thing to happened to me. especially on my birthday. i still remembered some things that happened on the same day. i remembered PC called me up in the afternoon to wish me happy birthday. i had to cut the conversation short coz i was afraid that F will get upset, although, i was happy with the call...:) but the happiness was not for long... arrggghh...why do i still have to think of what has happened? why does it still linger in my head?? waste of time!! but yeup... things like that are difficult to forget, especially when it comes from the person that you trusted and love. well, probably that wasnt all.. there are other things thats bothering me. will i get to enjoy myself on my birthday this year? will something nice and sweet happen? will i get to be with the people that i want to be with? hmmmm *sigh* :) i wish... i wish... and i wish... they say if we wish and pray real hard.. it'll happen?!!