Sleep Over at #58

i had a very tiring physio today yesterday, [gambar sekadar hiasan] and my head was so tired to think about what happened to joey. i had a long talk with him yesterday. so my mind is so occupied. and i think my therapist can see that i am not as cheerful as always. i am just tired of thinking and thinking and worrying. mau tak risau, anak kut. 

i came home after i had lunch at pcmc. by the time i got home it was around 3pm i guess and i didn't realize i fell asleep. i have an appointment with the carpenter at 530pm at sri ayu. i got up at 4pm, just in time to read the message from the carpenter. and when i knew he was nearby, i asked if he can give me a lift. jimat sikit duit. to be honest i have been spending a lot on grabcar. kadang kadang aku wonder, will i actually save if i were to drive sendiri? hmm entah lah kalau dah almost rm30 return gi pcmc, 3 kali seminggu.. emmmm meh aku kira rm360. entah.. banyak ke haa? and ke mana2 lagi pun i will take grab unless kalau lisa free, she will send me and/or fetch me.

anyhow, the discussion with my carpenter was fruitful. he said he can do the whole renovation. cuma aku kena tengok jugak his quotation. kalau banyak sangat nak keluar duit, aku akan buat yang mana penting dulu kut. i want to do what is best for my parents and also something yang aku pun akan selesa tengok. tapi yang penting keselesaan parents aku. as for me insyallah aku okay kat rge ni... itu pun so far kalau AH pun okay stay sini. rumah lain aku tak mampu kut. 

lepas habis discussion entah macamana akhirnya, aku end up sleep over kat 58 (rumah my parents). aku dah siap2 bawak clothes for the next morning and yang penting charger phone. siap aku kensel plan nak pergi gym. ayah offered nak drive aku tapi aku tak sampai hati nak biar ayah drive aku malam2. and aku dah jemu naik grab.

walaupun malam tadi aku frust sebenarnya borak dengann AH. aku sedih aku sebak and i cannot stop crying. aku rasa aku tanya soalan genuine kut. i really wanted to talk and to understand but i guess timing and situation was not right. entah la.. fikir2 balik memang aku sebak. kepala aku semakin berdenyut2. last2 aku pujuk jugak hati aku. nak buat macamana kan, aku sedih2 pun aku sorang jugak. aku tutup lampu and try tido. 

sedar2 dah pukul 6 pagi and dah subuh pun. aku bangun awal, refresh myself and aku decide to walk around sri ayu. dapat jugak la aku burn calories kan. and i kinda like this place. hmmm entah lah, tengok la rezki aku macamana. ok lah.. tetiba tak de mood pulak nak sambung cerita. 

coz sebenarnya aku nak cerita aku happy sleep over at 58, at least masa aku sedih, aku tau mama & ayah ada kat bilik sebelah 😥