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i thought might as well i finish these episodes and really try to move on and i really need to get the trauma out of my system. well, for someone who actually 'died' for awhile, it was something scary to go through. and the thought of God giving you a 2nd chance. tak nak ke ko buat sehabis baik?
i was pulled up and as i leaned on the side of the boat, i coughed again, and the was more blood came out and splattered in the boat. and i felt like a fish who is being pulled out of the ocean and trying to gasp for air for me to breathe. i coughed again and i felt like i am so full of water and i just needed to coughed it all out. it tasted like blood. my throat tasted like blood.
dalam pada antara aku sedar tak sedar suddenly we were already nearby our dive boat. i was helped up on the dive boat and given oxygen by ST our group leader from malaysia. i was laid on top of the place where we normally sit or put our dive cameras. i was still coughing and i had short of breath. and one by one all my other diver friends came back on the boat. most of them didn't know what happened. and they didn't know how serious my condition was at that time. i checked all my buddies and i felt bad for making the dive trip short for them. i opened my eyes, i saw Lind was pumping the oxygen bag (or whatever you wanna name it) for me to breathe easier, i guess. uurgghh kenapa tiba2 kaki aku rasa ngilu nak cerita about all these? sorang2 aku cari.. is saw MR, TK.. but TN tak de... i got up and looked for him.. entah, i just felt like i wanna make sure everyone is there. and i saw TN was seated somewhere near the front of the boat, termenung.
we approached our big boat, and was brought to the front of the boat where i was given another oxygen for me to breathe easier. i still feel the blood in my throat was still coughing blood. at that point of time, i was really scared. i was scared that i cannot make it home. i don't know what is going on internally. coz i can taste in my throat that the blood was still there.
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| the speed boat going to the hospital. |
first things first, i texted JoeLis, both of my kids. telling them what happened. and i forwarded the same message to AH. coz i know he will be worried. which i end up creating a group chat with N3 & N4 and Lind for them to get updates about me. i was rushed to the hospitals by a speed boat and was warded at the ER.
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| where i stayed for 3 days in Maldives. |
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| when i first got on our big boat and after texting my kids and AH |
to cut the story short, i had the experience brought to the hospital on a speed boat and the journey was about 1.5 hours.. memang time tu rasa macam kenapa lah tak sampai2. and i was not allowed to sleep. it was really dark in the middle of the ocean - and aku cuma pasrah je lah time tu. and i know AH time tu dah memang resah and non stop he texted Lind to ask of our location.
and so the xray came, i was diagnosed with pulmonary edema. you guys can read about it from the link i gave. every now and then doctor came and check. hospital dia agak pelik sikit lah.. ramai giler patients kat ER. and sini ubat2 kena beli sendiri dulu. dah macam dalam movie citer hindustan.
the 1st night tu Lind took care of me. kesian dia, she must be very tired. tak lupa jugak time tu jugak la TK nak marah2 aku.. sedih aku tapi malas lah nak citer kat sini. dia pun penat agaknya.. ye lah.. happy2 pergi dive trip lepas tu kena jaga orang sakit pulak. (tetiba mode emo pulak nak cerita kat sini), tapi memang time tu sedih kena marah. but anyway, appreciate sangat their help meng-advancekan dulu cash to pay up for the hospital bills. i took travel insurance cuma pay and claim. moral of the story, next time get a cashless base insurance ok.
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| gigil2 tangan aku lepas masuk antibiotic... kuat sangat kut ubat dia. |
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| this is hamey. dia lah yang temankan aku sepanjang aku kat hospital. |
the next day tu, Lind and TK dah kena balik ke boat besar. mula2 aku mintak Lind temankan lagi 1 malam tapi rasa tak fair jugak pada dia. dia datang maldives bayar mahal2, buang masa dok kat hospital pulak. nasib baik Hamey ada, he is one of our boat crew who followed us since the night i was brought to the hospital. yang tolong pegang and papah aku. honestly time tu aku dah tak berapa sedar siapa yang papah aku. aku tau ada tangan hulur kat aku, aku terus paut je..but again, thank you to all yang dah tolong aku and speed up the process. i am so thankful. hanya Allah swt yang dapat balas jasa korang.
the next day tu jugak aku video call Lisa. and she cried.. she was scared of losing me. well, siapa tak sedih and aku pun takut time tu if i can make it back to see my kids again. time ni la jugak aku fikir, macamana eh kalau anak2 aku jauh.. apa2 pun aku bersyukur, i am ok.. level infection makin kurang by the time masuk hari ke 3. aku kena kuat semangat sebab aku nak join BBQ diorang kat pulau tu.
i guess this is the end of the story yang sedih2, lepas ni masuk citer yang best and fun pulak ok ❤ i think i am gonna compile all the rest of the days on the big boat in 1 posting. tak larat dah nak cerita satu2.. nak tutup buku lama, buka buku baru, orang kata. and thank you jugak to all yang doakan keselamatan aku.
and yes after i came back from maldives, i went straight to PCMC and did follow up treatment and consultation. at PCMC the doctor explained that i had pulmonary hemorrhage which was why i could not breathe - i was actually flooded with my own blood. i also went to Hospital Angkatan Tentera coz kat situ ada chamber. i was advised against it - means tak perlu masuk chamber coz nak masuk chamber pun akan ada implication and my lungs was not healthy for that treatment. and persoalannya selepas ini, will i be able to dive again? i don't know, aku rindu nak dive tapi at the same time memang aku takut and masih trauma. and until today my lungs pun masih fragile and at times masih rasa susah nak nafas, hence i have not been exercising macam selalu.
mulut2 longkang yang rasa depa lebih pandai dari doctor, boleh la simpan pendapat korang sebab sebenarnya, setiap orang tu berbeza keupayaannya. aku rasa aku lah orang yang paling kuat nak lawan segala dugaan yang ada tapi walau hati kuat kalau sebenarnya keadaan fizikal tak mengizinkan, aku kena redha jugak. daripada sakit berpanjangan, baik aku berehat buat sementara waktu.
and jugak pada mulut2 longkang lain yang pandai2 tuduh kat boat tu diorang tak de emergency kit, jangan la korang memandai2. they have done their best to help me during the emergency evacuation. and alhamdulillah they are trained and efficient.
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