cant stop thinking of you

something that he wrote in one of his messages makes me realize that i should just back out. perhaps i should have done this earlier. not that i have not tried. i tried but it is tough. maybe i need another powerful distraction? 

how can someone has this much affect on someone else. pelik kan? i don't even know what this is called? even when i watch the drama series now, i sort of relate it to me.. my situation. tapi setakat angan2 lah kan. angan2 tak salah if it can make you smile and happy walaupun temporary. hik hik hik 🙊

so here goes:

him: sayang, kenapa perlu sorok kalau rasa sayang?

her: ** trapped in silence** mana abang tau?

him: bagi abang pengakuan sayang sudah cukup untuk abang. 

her: hhuurmm... 

him: sudah lah... kita mulakan hidup baru... abang janji abang tak kan lagi buat perangai pelik2, abang tak kan marah2

and the story goes.... that makes me think of him. memang pun dia pelik tapi offlate, dulu aku tak rasa pun dia pelik. he is different but there is something about him that makes me got attracted to him. cuma kadang2 he makes me feel special. he makes me forget that he is younger than me. nak cerita sini banyak sangat or kalau pun aku cerita kat sini, ada je orang2 yang tak setuju aku dengan dia. maybe sebab cara dia layan aku sekarang, seolah2 aku ni tak de harga diri - ha gitu.. he is cold now, aku tau. tapi aku pujuk jugak hati aku by saying 'we are just friends' tapi kalau gitu, kenapa aku rasa macam ni? aku tak rasa pun benda yang sana sama dengan friends aku yang lain? 

kadang2 this situation membuatkan aku tertanya, 

"kenapa Allah temukan aku dengan dia? is it for me, or for him?"