How can i not question?

Life has been really good to me.. alhamdulillah despite all the troubles that i have to go through, all the uncertainties which really upsets me at times.. the anxiety attack that i often receive nowadays... **sigh** i am still grateful. just that one thing that is still unfulfilled. how can i not question? i am just another human being... creation of Allah swt. i feel like i am stuck somewhere, trying to turn a new page but just could not find the strength to do so. ya Allah please grant me more patience than what you have given me, please strengthen my faith despite all the challenges that you are giving me. please do not allow me to give up hope.. and keep on praying to you. 

i am blessed with a wonderful unique family. my kids have grown up to be good children, alhamdulillah, i have such a loving husband although we are kind of unique to some people out there. nevertheless only those in mixed marriages would understand what i am going through right now. and i love him to the every second that i breathe. we had a surprise birthday celebration for kaiser during our company's gala last weekend. 

him being too simple at times, only allowed me to belanja him Nandos on his birthday.. so there we were at AEON Nandos with me getting overdressed!! but hey.. to me it is just not enough, he should celebrate ... and i just have to do more than Nandos!! so, yeah.. we had a lil party a week after!