it's just too tiring

sometimes you try so hard to make other people happy. you make plans for everyone. just so that everyone will have that quality time together. and in the end, did that someone or those people appreciate what you do for them? if we do things for people, we can get frustrated... but if we do it for Allah and as part of our ibadah, we will not feel that way. *sigh* okay, i shall change my perspective of certain things then.

so now, this is about my dive trip that is scheduled soon. all i wanted to do is to have a trip together as a family. do i really wanna go for that dive trip?? NO, if any of my family members said something about it. but don't come and tell me now, when everything has been arranged that you don't really wanna go because you don't like the country... well, i don't like the country too because my sister is married to an idiot from that country.. but does it matter? what matters is we will be together for a holiday... that is all... so i am so sad if you are going but you don't really like it... do you get it? so how am i supposed to feel if the trip is on and i know he is going but he doesn't really like it... yeah ok ok... it's about kaiser... i am just not in the mood.. not in the mood to get upset but just feel so down... :( urrghhh.... brush it off ein!!!

and yeahh of course i am worried about the earthquake thingy... so now what i am going to do... look for replacement... 4 pax... they just need to pay to me the dive package and flight. if not, then maybe i will find 3 of my diver girlfriends to go... i wouldn't want to risk my kids going there and neither do i want to have kaiser there if he doesn't want to.