tore in between

let us start with the not so nice news first. one after another... it doesn't really hit me so much but it did make me some sort of, 'pause' for a while, and think... wonder... what should i do? *sigh* it started when last friday, lisa showed me a letter from her former school. she is receiving an award for excellent student and it will be given away by dato' zulhasnan. what makes me stunned was when i got to know the date... :( i will not be around as i will be away for my diving trip. it was not an easy decision for me to make. i have always be there for any of my kids' event. i never want to a miss a thing... children grow up very fast - and i want to be there for them. i want to celebrate with them. at the same time, this trip has been postponed a few times. my goal is to go for a diving trip at least once a year. and i know i will be extremely busy after this. looking at lisa's face expression breaks my heart... i wish i can tell you how i really feel, but it is unexplainable. i had to ask lisa to decide/choose whom she wants to accompany  her for the event. do you think it is easy for me? do you know how close i am to lisa? but i guess, sometimes, in life you need to make tough decisions... and i am a person who holds to my word.

David Tyson Gentry: True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.

although i am sad (it seems it is the only word that i can think of - but deep down inside, i am feeling more than that) i believe being in silent is the best way at the moment.