friends....

i am so frikin busy at the moment but i needed to write this down ... if i describe how i feel right now... my heart sank, heavy and felt like there is one huge rock resting on my chest. my hands are cold. felt sad... really sad but at the same time, my mind is at work... that helped quite a bit. 

perhaps, sometimes, you just dont know who your friends are anymore. is it because i am too busy at work or with my business or with my family? i'd rather be alone at times. off track again!!!  this is not what i wanted to write about. sometimes it is really sad when a person whom you treated as close friend just dont share their happy moments with you. i dont know, perhaps, i treat that person as one (special) but i am not (special/close) to that person. i would just put it aside if this friend whom i talk about if the things that i talk abt with are only about the birds that fly today - or the weather was not nice yesterday... but this is a friend whom i talk about during my deepest down-est moment in my life... and we share about a lot of other things that means a lot to me... but suddenly... it is all a secret... *sigh* 

the fact that the friend did not admit - hurts me most.... and by denying turned into a lie... would friends lie to one another??? 

and my chest is still heavy.... :(