Bad Mood

Sometimes I felt like these kind of feelings are only for the youngsters. It doesn't make sense actually. I have been able to control my feelings for a few years. Simply because I do not want to waste my energy. But again, I am only human. As much as I want to ignore the feelings, it does eats me up. Until at times, I do not know which one hurts/disturbs me most. What bothers me? 

When I try to deny my feelings, my body will be acting otherwise. I had a few episodes of stomach cramp that it made my breathing difficult. Once, I drove myself to the clinic but I could not park my car properly. The latest one was 2 weeks ago when I was having a very bad diarrhea until I could not breathe properly. N3 drove me to the clinic and I was given nebulizer and drips as I was dehydrated. 

Few days later it happened again but this time was chest pain - alhamdulillah after a few tests were done, I was okay - except that the doctor said I should be seeing a professional as I was having anxiety attacks. 

Anyway today TH sensed that I am in a bad mood - yeup I am and I took a piece of paper to write down what I was upset about. And majority it was because of him. And I feel is it unfair that I have to make sure that I do not bother him with whatever that is bothering me, because of his nature of work! So, who do I talk to then? 

"expectation leads to frustration"