TENGGOL HERE I COME (PART 14) - end

i think the wave during that time was at Force 8

...but i can feel like ekor mata dia pandang aku.. maybe dia terkejut sebab tiba2 aku berpaut pada lutut/peha dia..? he was really shaking. his tshirt memang dah lencun sangat. i was actually seated facing the side of the boat while half of us faced either the front or the back of the boat. i just wanted to make sure that i can see the ocean or more of the wave. LS and RS were already hugging each other. AK was trying to make a joke on the boat but i just couldn't care to even look at him. at the tips of my lips were just zikir to Allah. yeah.. i may not be a perfect muslim but even from the start of the journey jumping on to the boat, i have already bertawakkal and berserah to Him and no one else. He is the most powerful and only He can help us out of the situation.

i had 3 layers of clothing and i cannot imagine the coldness that he had to endure. he passed his towel that he used to wrap around him. he put it on my shoulder coz he felt that i was cold and shivering when actually i saw him shivering and he needs it more than i do. i passed back the towel nicely and honesty at that point of time i felt like i wanted to share the towel with him and leaned on his shoulder! 👧 i just wanted to feel safe and warm. **sigh** it was too much to ask and to dream for, i know. but i was really scared and **sigh** i don't know. i hardly know him, in fact i don't know him to feel that way. like i mentioned before there is something about him that makes me feel calm and safe. or maybe it was just a feeling in general and it could be on anybody at that point of time? **question**... ermm nope, maybe not. it is him. i am sorry, not that i want to reject your sweet gesture but i truly feel you needed it more than me.

all i can see at that point of time was the wave that was at the same level as the boat's edge. i was still thinking when will this end. at that point of time i have prayed whatever that i needed to pray for and something that i rarely do which all of a sudden i remembered, maybe i should just do it. and so i prayed to Allah swt to forgive all of us in the boat should there be any sins/wrongdoing that we have done and please save us. at some point, some of us already threw up, which includes him. kesian dia.. he moved to the back of the boat earlier. he got up. he must be feeling so restless. after a while he came back to the front of the boat. boat was still swaying and rocking quite hard, i would not even dare to get up. i cannot even turn my head as i will get giddy. and suddenly he was already at my side lying down with towel covering his face. i wouldn't do that if i were him, coz i felt by lying down will only add up to the giddiness. and he went to the side of the boat and threw up in the ocean. i felt like rubbing his back.. coz it may make him feel better, no? but because LS and RS were there, nanti kena ngata pulak.. aku tengok je dia... kesiannya.. and he laid down beside me. 

and so there we were floating just few metres away from the shore. i can see all the lights, but at the same time all of us were still swaying in the ocean. masa tu aku fikir, ini kalau berani, berenang je dah boleh sampai. memang clueless but ombak dah ok sikit, tak la takut sangat. maybe sebab masa tu aku dah pasrah. tapi dalam hati aku terfikir jugak.. ala lepas ni bila lagi aku dapat merasa to be so close to him like this. masing2 akan balik dengan family masing2.. rindu ke aku nanti? and will he know that i have a crush on him? 

finally we get to go closer to the shore coz air dah naik. alhamdulillah. the dinner event untuk celebrate our success pun dah habis time tu. it was already 11.30pm kut.. and i cannot remember in detail what happened next but everyone was so happy to be near the shore and we saw the light! 

and i guess lepas ni semua tinggal kenangan manis, about km pekan, about the fun time during the dive, about the people i meet on the ship and people i get to know during the wonderful weekend. and is this the end of my angan2 or my dream or my high of the weekend - to get a crush on someone. tu laaa.. ni semua salah DN, dia yang suruh aku travel and get to know new people.. kan dah terus ada crush.. heheheh 😁i guess this is the end... 

will i see you again?

and till we meet again in my next postings... stay tuned.. coz i will have more to tell about my next travelling experience to Desaru 😉