what have we become?

i came home earlier than expected today. dont ask me why - i am just disappointed. but nevermind that, i am cool - as my little bro said on his sms to me as i drove my car out of the office car park. as i drove home, i smsed my boss sharing with him of my disappointment. even as i am typing, disappointed was not really the word to suit the situation. i was quite errmmm how do i say it.. speechless with people's selfishness in making decisions without even thinking of other people's commitment and sacrifices. hmmm there you go. and i choose to just stop right here..

i got home. kaiser already cooked for joelis' dinner. his famous healthy fried rice :P sshhh... i actually stopped by my parents' house coz i miss them. but i guess my mom was not in the mood to have a chit chat... so i decided to leave.. sadly but i guess she wanted to be alone watching tv. when i got home, joey greeted me topless.. hehehe :D after maghrib prayer, we had dinner together. the fried rice was delicious - or was it because i missed my lunch? :P

finished cleaning the kitchen, i collected a new load of dirty laundry to be washed. delegated some task to lisa.. pick up the dry ones. i showered - then later went to lisa's room to start folding the clothes. lisa was playing her guitar before i walked into her room. and joey was busy playing his harry porter psp. and as soon as i sat down on the floor to start folding the clothes, lisa got down with me and we fold the clothes together. this is what i love about my kids. they are thoughtful :) they can still be kids and be difficult at times but they are thoughtful most of the time :) thank you darlings.. appreciate that.

this was when i had this conversation with lisa.

me: gurl, can i ask you a question.
lisa: hmmm? what kinda question?
me: just a normal question - i juz wanna know what would a kid answer.
lisa: hmmmm oookayyy...
me: assuming you are stranded somewhere..
lisa: like in a dessert or something - and who will i choose?
me: nahh.. not that kind of question. assuming you were with 20 other children, starving and with only 1 tank of water that you need to share the water with them. you have not had food for many days. think of you being with lots of other kids with multi-faith... hindu, christian, ..
lisa: yeahh ma.. i got it.. lots of different religion.
me: well yeah.. and then, come 1 person - a moslem wanting to give food. what do you think? who should that person feed?
lisa: *she gave me the look and immediately answered* maa... of course all of us! what do you think i'd say? only the moslem just because i am a moslem?
me: gurl... i am glad you said that... i am glad that you are not selfish.
lisa: what were you thinking?
me: nothing, i jus wanna know a child's answer. *and i smiled* and as i have thought... i am proud of you.

the point here is, i did came across people when i talked about helping children who are starving in africa etc.. and the response was, 'aahh how would you know if they are helping the moslems?' i was shocked with this question!!! and my response was, 'look... i care about these children - doesnt matter what religion they are in - they are children - and starving. they need all help they could get' Islam definitely do not teach us to choose like that to help others!!

however, these are not the only response that i get .. there are people out there who do not trust the people who collects the zakat. it is the same thinking. IMHO, as far as i am concerned, when i pass over the fund - it is expected that the fund is to be channeled to the appropriate receipients. otherwise, they are answerable to Allah swt... coz He sees what we do anywhere :) i have done my part.

pheww... this is the longest posting... :) good nite everyone..

ein is signing off now at 1132pm