God's Challenge

If this is God's challenge for me... it is so hurtful. it makes my whole body weak. my blood pressure went low and i am having acid reflux. God.. please... i love him so much to just let go what we have already built. it is just too painful. i know the sayings that God will give whats best for me.. why give him to me just later to take him away? i have all these questions in my mind. i am speechless.. been crying whole day yesterday... and today.. tolong laaa... pls.... i just want him not anybody else.