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This is going to be a mixed postings, be warned.

i was misunderstood when i had my dreams visualized in a form of a photo. i used to have a vision board - just so that i look at it daily and in god's will it will come true. alhamdulillah some came true and some not, yet. so after many years, i came about the vision board again. the difference is, it is on social media - goes with the trend, flow? whatever you want to call it. sadly, when that was what i put up, it creates chaos in other part of my life. it seems, my dreams - my happiness creates uneasiness towards others. **sigh** it disturbs me till now. i may feel better some day - but i dont know when. 

2005, i was relieved from living in a world of liars. people who back stabbed me, and acted as though they love me but behind my back, they disapprove of my existence? i don't like to be reminded how hard it was for me, but to realize now of how that circumstances has transformed me to be a stronger person, i am blessed. of course, it has badly affected my kids.

2015, i was relieved from not being peaceful. i was happy in some way but jiwa tak tenang in some way. the toughest part was my kids, were affected again and tougher those time. 

and when after all those darkness and Allah showed me the lite of happiness, sometimes when you think people will be truly happy with your happiness, in some way or other, there will be people who will not be happy entirely. it goes with the phrase, you cannot satisfy everybody. May Allah ease this for me, and make me more receptive secara ikhlas and tenang. 


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