quit playing games with my heart

i know i should be doing my work. i brought back my lappy so that i could finish my presentation to show to my boss on monday at least. but knowing the hariraya season, i just dont have the energy to do it when i get home.

but right now i just needed to write something before i start to be really busy.

my mind is disturbed right now with some issues that i need to get clarification. i just dont want to have my time wasted for something uncertain. i know nothing is confirmed in this world unless given by Him, but i do want to have myself prepared for certain things. i know what i want in life now. alhamdulillah i have what people would want in life - maybe at this phase of my life i just want someone who can truly love me and take me as who i am. take care of me, or we take care of each other, honest in love, provides the needs as a spouse and live the rest of our lives together, having the same goals that is bringing each other up to be a better person in life and also closer to the Creator. leaving all the He forbids. #siscuba :p

my principal is clear and i know my non-negotiable issues. i'd rather not put it here as people who read this might be judgmental and make a wild guess about whom i am writing. and i dont want them to guess on the wrong person.

honestly i am not gonna waste my time to deal with people who have midlife crisis! i had to deal with 2 of them and i think id rather not do it again? its tiring having to deal with childish adult when they start to forget their responsibility as a spouse and / or father. i am just damn tired.

he is exclusive right now but by playing this game, i can get tired and wish to give up hoping. my time is precious than to play all the guessing games. and playing with my feelings like this is not cool!

like i said, i have my own plans and vision on what to do next in my life. lisa is in USA and joey will be finishing high school soon and going to college. i seriously dont need someone who just want to play me out. if ever i need someone in my life right now, you will have to be really worth my time and energy giving all my love for.