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Tuesday, May 16, 2017

tapi bukan aku

sometimes you cannot assume things that is happening around you. if you ask me now, my heart is very fragile and in seconds i can cry but trying so hard to hold back my tears. maybe when i actually let it all out i will feel much better. the truth is i do not know if it is worth all the tears. i was just being in control - or in denial - or perhaps just full of false hope. maybe its true what N4 said few days back... (walaupun jilaka :D :P) when it comes to being in relationship. i will never learn :P LOL. well it is not that. it is just that i am a risk taker. i learn through mistakes because i dare to jump when others don't. i would blurt out how i feel when i want to know what is going on simply because i believe life is short to waste time. grab the opportunity while it is there. but right now at this moment - i feel the emptiness in my heart - coz it crashes

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

my me time

people say once you have started to travel alone, you will get used to it. and you know what? it is true. so, to you out there, try it - you will never know you might just love the time that you have with yourself. you get to know new people at the places you travel. of course if you are used to a certain country it could be easier. as in you know more on what to expect. 

i just got back from yogyakarta.. ya ya ya some of you would say.. again? well, it's my money and i can go wherever i want. 😊 why yogyakarta? it brings peace to me as in innerpeace haha 😃😃 it has a lot of places to discover. last year i was in yogya 3 times, so this year..i am here again and discover new things.

yes, i owe postings about my visits to yogya last year. some day when i have the mood i will write about it okay. for this posting i will write about this trip. 

i spent 3 nights this time and went to 3 different live music places: Ruang Cafe, Goebox Cafe and Liquid Cafe. the best for me is Goebox Cafe and if i am not mistaken they have accoustic on wednesday. i am not sure of other days during the week. the crowd are of university students. if i am not alone i might just go up the stage and sing a song hahaha 😃😃

and i went hiking at gunung api purba. sorry NikS.. i had a lil bit of dirt on you. it was unplanned so i just followed as suggested by the tour guide/driver. but.. i only climb up to 2 posts..apparently if you go higher it has 5 posts? 😐 arrhhh and that was enough for me to get cramps after that. lol 😃

i also covered Hutan Pinus, a nice place for photoshoot..just that it rained..so, my hair became flat 😛 and luckily Deki has a cap with him. and owh Deki drives me around during my stay and he was also my photographer. so some of the photos in here were taken by him. 

as we left Hutan Pinus, we stopped by a small Hobbit House area. tak dapat pergi yang kat New Zealand, dapat yang Yogya jadilah. hahaha 😁😀. 

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

another short trip

work has been so hectic. i just a took a week off from work not deciding where to go yet. i am not gonna talk too much about office work hehhehe :D and i have a lot to think of about my studio. or perhaps what would be the best way to do to handle my current financial situation wisely. eheemm... things that i expect to happen is already happening this month. it is true that some people who does good things to you just wanna get things in return. i did what i had to do. but now i know, the person that i defended so much is just like another guy out there. people change once they already got what they wanted in life. when they feel that they have achieved their target. whether or not during that process if they hurt other people's feelings, it does not matter. its their ultimate goal that they are after. yup i am babbling. hmmm ok...

i went for a short trip to jogja.. yes.. again and this time i covered the live music places each night i was there. and the place that i enjoyed most is at the goebox cafe, i hope i spelled it right. maybe i will go there again when i am there. the place is relaxing and chilling and surrounded with students.

i am sleepy now.. i have a draft in my phone.. maybe i will post that later.,

Monday, May 1, 2017

be strong lil heart

as i am typing this the right word to express how i feel is 'sebak'. never knew or expect that it would turn out to be this way. no one else or nothing else to blame except for myself. i let myself and my lil heart got drifted away with sweet talks. words and the attention that was given to me when i needed most. never that i thought it could be temporary. wait.. haven't you learn already, that all that is given in this world IS temporary! the only thing that is permanent is at the Hereafter. yeah.. sadly to say i thought i am strong enough to handle this. i thought that i was in control of the situation. i was just being myself. a loving and caring person that i am towards someone whom now i know was wrongly assumed. i thought the feeling is mutual. but my thought was wrong. i was just another person that people can meet..greet.. and say goodbye. i am.. still fragile 😔 and i thought when he said he will always be there... is real

ya Allah.. please help me through this. i am..saddened by this.. very much that my lil heart cries