Skip to main content

Follow me on FB or like my FB akofitness720

stay strong

i wanted to write about how nice we were on sunday before, during, and after the meeting. how he introduced me as his wife and having this thought in my head.. "owh ok he still feels i am his wife" . then last night too. but i sensed that he was somehow feeling awkward. i am not sure if its due to him feeling guilty or he was just feeling uneasy with my confession during the day. but he wasn't upset when i told him that. today i realize that feeling good with those introduction to his acquaintances are just the temporary happiness because i still need to face the reality. the reality that he has gave up on us... let the reason be kept for now - let's say its circumstances that separates us.

having him at home but knowing that he is not staying is more hurtful. i wish i can say or write more but somehow it gets very tiring. i have tried all i can to save it, to save us but all i get is cold shoulder. i am tired of crying... i don't cry for him so much anymore. mischa seems to be lost too. perhaps she felt like papa is leaving her. there was this one day when he was hugging mischa and i said... "mischa.. papa doesn't love us, he is leaving us.. he doesn't care" and he gave me the look and said "you know that's not true" or did i hear it wrongly.. and i wished that was what he said. 

all i can tell to myself is to stay strong. Ya Allah... this challenge is too great for me right now... please... :"(


Popular posts from this blog

Pops Eatery Wangsa Maju - my personal review

today was the first time that i did my groceries shopping online. i am a happy mom, wife.. etc.. hahaha :D then lisa said she was hungry and she feels like eating at Pops. we asked joey if he wants to come along.. and as usual, his first choice would be his anime. :p anyway, it was supposed to be my early dinner but i failed miserably... i had half portion of chinese fried rice. okay, here's my review about the restaurant. lisa has been promoting this place to me for a long time. date of visit: 24 Jan 2015location: PoP's Eatery, Lot 28055, Jalan Wangsa Delima, Pusat Bandar Wangsa Maju, Seksyen 5, Wangsa Maju. Tel: 03-4144 3162place & decor: simple and nice looks cosy for lepakking. cleanliness: 9 out of 10. restaurant service: efficient, quite fast. maybe because we were the only customer at that time. we noticed that they have too many workers. they could cut down into half to cut cost :p #justsayingfood: food was yummy... it exceeds my expectation... price: we are okay w…

FaFau and I on MHI 20 June 2016

yeah i am supposed to sleep but right now i am busy copying the song for MHI that is supposed to start at 8am. looks like i won't be able to sleep after sahur huh? :D how do i get the opportunity? well thanks to my youngest sister and bakal adik ipar :p hehehe :D and yey... i get to meet up with FaFau again. she is kinda cool and funny and sempoi. and it is like i have known her for so long when talking to her. and she is pretty friendly too.

so yeah... what i did today was, i had to run to the saloon to do my hair.. hahaha :D i can have my workout today to replace my cancelled session yesterday but... errmm if i workout then i will sweat and i need to wash my hair again! so, i decided not to do any weight training.. hik hik.. so yeah.. stay tuned tomorrow everyone and watch FaFau and me with the simplest ZUMBA routine :D

and if you want to enter the contest, check out my ig @zin_ako.

when my son calls me by name instead of Mom :p

it has been a long time since my kids send me appreciation notes. i have begun to think that this is what i will have to go through and accept :) as my kids are growing up and they, especially joey, are no more as expressive as before, as when they were much younger. and perhaps, i should learn to be less sensitive about these things and just focus on them being a grown up. errmmm well not really about joey looking at his room condition!

but today, as i was rushing in the morning to open up my studio for yoga, they both came into my bedroom and gave me these :) hehehe :D it was funny, and thoughtful at the same time :D

ya Allah, thank you so much for giving me such beautiful children - please protect them wherever they go and may they both become anak2 yang soleh & solehah.  Love you both so much... Saaa & Adik :*