Qada' & Qadar

as the days goes by at times i am okay and at times i will get my anxiety attack. no doubt i will use my busy-ness to cover up all these issues. i was at the doctor today and his comment surprised me! totally..! yeah he was being realistic or perhaps he just want me to be prepared for the worst case scenario as he has witnessed a few cases - but hey... i believe in qada and qadar. our hearts belongs to Him and only He can change it. so if he is going to remain as he says, what else can i say but to accept that. after all, all these are just loaned from Him. tonight i really felt the emptiness even by sitting close to him. i am feeling numb already. though i miss him, that was what i felt tonight. is that how He is making me stronger each day? i dont know.. Allahualam. may Allah ease the pain that i am going through. gnite... sleep tight... asalamualaikum.