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erti kehidupan bagiku

membawa diri ke perantauan. dengan harapan semoga perjalanan ini akan membuahkan kebahagiaan bagi diri aku, seterusnya buat anak-anak yang aku tinggalkan di negara asalku. 

ramai orang bilang, kalau sesebuah perkahwinan itu atas percaturan ibu bapa, ia pasti membahagiakan. itulah yang aku harapkan sewaktu aku dijodohkan dengan topan. aku terima topan seadanya. pada awal perkahwinan, kami bahagia. seterusnya kami dikurniakan 3 orang cahayamata yang comel-comel sekali. aku terus mengharapkan kebahagian itu berterusan, namun segalanya tinggal harapan dan kenangan. 

kesedihan itu bermula pabila topan mahu ke rumah ibunya, mahu melawat katanya. namun lawatan itu berlanjutan ke beberapa bulan. ternyata ibu mertuaku kurang menyenangi diriku. sungguh aku tidak faham. kalau tidak suka, kenapa dijodohkan aku dengan anaknya? ya, aku tahu, aku tidak cantik, kulit ku gelap, raut wajahku kasar. 

seterusnya, dalam diam, ibu mertuaku mengusir aku dari rumahnya. topan langsung tidak menpertahankan aku sebagai isterinya. aku tersangat sedih... terpaksa berpisah dengan anak-anakku yang masih kecil... berusia 12 tahun, 8 tahun dan 5 tahun.

setiap hari aku menangis. sehingga bengkak-bengkak mataku. aku menumpang tinggal di rumah makcik ku. mungkin kerana terlalu lama makcik ku melihat aku menderita, akhirnya makcik aku memberikan aku satu idea. "sudah, terlalu lama kamu menangis. usah buang masa lagi. usah ditangisi pada yang tidak menyayangi dirimu. ayuh, aku uruskan untuk kamu ke Malaysia. bekerja di sana, cari wang".

dan aku akur... semoga, pencarian kebahagiaan aku di sini, diredhai Allah swt. amin

anak-anak ku... ibumu akan terus mengingati kamu ya...dan menyayangi kamu, jangan sekali kali kamu lupa itu

topan, maafkan aku meninggalkan negara kita tanpa meminta izin darimu. sememangnya kamu tidak pernah mempertahankan aku sewaktu aku diusir ibumu dulu kan?

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