10 reasons not to jog

  1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the heck she is.
  2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
  3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
  4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
  5. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.
  6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
  7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
  8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
  9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
  10. I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

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