Friday, February 27, 2009

what frustration is all about

something is not right somewhere. someone said, it is not because of what i have not done, perhaps something that he has not done. so? what am i going to do? i cant... i just cant... i am feeling so helpless right now. enough tears... aaahhh ein... the emotional person. who isnt? most people are. either they want to show it or not. i am not ashamed of showing my emotions. certain things i cannot control. aahhh S%$#.... i cannot stand this any more. should i just give up? is this what He wants? i dont think so... what is it??? what???? what????

Thursday, February 26, 2009

minor shock!

i just returned from lunch with my colleague today when i received a phone call from AD. and my first line to him was... 'ahhh... you are still alive!!' err... that's another way of saying, 'hey i miss you' in our language... ahakss... :D well anyway, his respond was quite shocking when he said, 'yeahh i am alive but my scooter is not here!! where can it be???' i went, 'what??? stolen or what??' and bla.. bla.. bla.. so, i took my car keys with me, after seeing my boss, i told AD to wait there at klcc and i will go and pick him up to make a police report.

reached the police station at about 3pm... i just asked the policeman if could it be that DBKL picked up his scooter for parking at the pavement? and the policeman was kind enough to check for us... and alhamdulillah, DBKL took his scooter... well, better than stolen, right?? :D

so, we drove to the store in Jinjang... God knows where, but alhamdulillah, it was not difficult to search once i know the landmarks. paid the compound, took the scooter and left... i drove back to the office. but he was not that happy... his scooter was scratched at 3 places... hmmm anyway, lesson learnt, next time park at the right place ;)

i will upload the picture when i have the time :) now i want to go home.. :P

good food

us entertaining my mom... :) there are a few of middle east restaurant in jalan damai... i would recommend this one.. :) but i forgot the restaurant's name..

Monday, February 23, 2009

here and there

had a good weekend... well sort of.. heee :D ignoring the sad part, focusing on the fun part... as usual :) joey's activity when he is at home... he will massage my dad when he needed one.. last time joey used to get paid for his tiny little fingers massage... hey... he is good in it! :) well anyway, it was more for fun.

my dad helped me to repair a few of the beds' platform at the guesthouse. so, my dad and i went to the 'kedai kayu' (my brain doesnt seem to work this morning!) and get some good kayu... and he did it all... :) love you dad!! you are the best!!

hmmm what else... lisa got an invitation from my eldest sister to watch PGL... hmmm happy la dia. It was a last minute thingy... and Lisa is having her exam this morning, but then again, considering the ticket is expensive and aahhhh pergi je lah... so, Lisa went with my sister (N3) and Kelly, my niece... melawa sakan anak dara aku tuh with her half inch heels... oh mannnn.... my girl is growing up!!! :P

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

when things go haywire...

life is like a cycle... sometimes you are up and at times you are down. i am not at the down phase right now, just that having some lots of things to be done at the same time. then, you wish you are like a sotong by having lots of hands to help you around. things around me too at times just pissed me off. me, for one, am not a person who kisses ass just to be closed to someone. it is more of wysiwyg person. so, if you wanna be close to me - dont kiss my ass as it wont work either!

the guesthouse is giving quite a lot of problems lately... dunno la... i supposed the person who is staying there now tak de 'ong' kut... *sigh* everyday this week i have been receiving calls from her.. the previous tenant has also giving me hell! if i know most of my things there are not gonna be taken care of, i would not have been agreed to rent it out to them. but then again, let that be a lesson to me.

as promised, some pictures of our outing in port dickson 2 weeks ago. nowadays i seldom take pictures when we go to the beach as it's gonna be the same beach anyway... hehehe :D mana lagi kalau tak port dickson. so, enjoy the pictures people ;) we stayed at admiral cove. and as mentioned, it was a last minute decision .. and of course we had fun... and at the end of the day, my joelis have turned dark brown and AD turned like a BBQed prawn!! heh heh :D

hmmmm what else...? aahhh valentines... nope, i dont celebrate valentines.. why? coz, just dont feel like it. i'd rather celebrate anniversary or birthdays... :) anyway, AD and i went out on valentines' eve.. as usual, at time, i do feel just wanna go out.. chill... but it didn't turn out that nice that night. we went to WH but the band was not as good as we expected. then, i suggested that we join my friends at HR... however things happened that i didn't really want to stay there any longer... and as we drove home that night, we saw couples holding flowers in their hand... and people still sellling stocks of roses.. :) and yeahh they looked sweet and whatever mushy stuff lah.. and if you asked me, i dont feel anything. perhaps that night AD thought that i'd want something for valentines... hehehehe :D honestly... no, i dont. :) serious... :) however, the next day.. AD gave me a pair of earring and necklace which was a very sweet gesture from him... from someone who is not romantic but at times his actions makes him the sweetest person ... hahah :D o'oh now i feel guilty for not getting him anything :P

valentines party... received an sms from my dear RW informing us that they will be performing at CW... since no cover charge, we decided to go and have a look. well, yeah we may sound cheapskate.. err is that the right word? the thing is, we both dont drink, so if we need to pay cover charge, mcm bazir duit jer... hehehe :D unless if the place is really happening lah kan.. ;) anyway, we enjoyed the time there... and i learned new steps from RW... yey..

Monday, February 16, 2009

huh.. huh??

here i am seated here wanting to write something in my blog but i dont know where to start. or i dont know how to say it. but i've already cried because of it. i dont like these feeling. and i am sad. AD asked me if i want to talk about it. and i did talk about it with him. things about him, is settled. i'm glad that he is not upset about what happened. and knowing me, i worried too much too early. but now there's something else.. which i dont know and i just have to wait. and i dont like keeping these for so long. it eats me up.. *gosh*... *sigh*

this is worst than having a fight with a boyfriend! aaahhhh....

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

nice quote

before i continue with the short trip to PD, here's a quote i received in my inbox a while ago :)

have you received the shit yet?? *grin* heh... heh... :D

Monday, February 9, 2009

Beach, here we come...

After all the unnecessary stress going around, last Saturday, we went to the beach. I like doing things unplanned. Original plan was, I wanted to go out with AD - have not been out for a while. I mean real out i.e. having fun. So, I thought of going out dancing. And knowing me, who can be a fickle minded person - decided to go to the beach instead! Yeahh... AD have been saying that I need more color on my body... duhh... :P hehehe :D one thing I like about this relationship, I don't have to spend money on whitening cream or lotion... ahaksss... :P

So, when I was watching TV with lisa in my mom's bedroom, replied to SA's sms asked him if there is still room available... and... beach here we come!!

It was a short trip... 1 night only but it was okay for a short break. I had a different kind of fun.. with joelis and AD with me at the same time. If I were to go dancing, yes I will enjoy myself but I will be missing joelis.. so, now I get all the loved ones together. ;) better huh... :)

We had dinner by the beach... with entertainment. They were ok but not that good. I think the group before them was better.

errr... will cont later... wanna watch dvd now.. :P hee hee

Tuesday, February 3, 2009


shit i dont like what i feel right now. i have tonnes of work to do for heaven's sake. let me focus... God let me just let go those uneasy feelings. what should i do now? help.... i wanna get to work... err.. i can do this... it's all a part of life. like SS said last night, 2008 has been a wonderful year for me. God is just testing me... He is just giving me a little wave for me to face... just a little. I have handled a tsunami before this... the little wave is nothing ;)

I love ya'll wherever you may be :*

Monday, February 2, 2009


that's the only word that can describe my feelings right now. felt so hurt that i cried. could this be a sign? it really made me think that perhaps i should think it over, again. i know i should talk about it, but right now, i'd rather just keep quiet. i dunno.. i am like that. when i am sad, i'd rather keep it to myself for awhile, till i feel much better. and whether i am going to talk about it or not, it all depends.

my mom asked me just now. something that was unexpected. but i think i answered her well, although the conversation ended abruptly. what i told her was, in life, we can never get someone who is prefect. what we can learn through our past is accepting other people's flaws and loving him for what they are being with you. and i guess, in any relationship if you can accept that, you'd hope that your partner would accept that too, right? but, we can all hope for the best.

and as i am typing all these now... i ....miss... aahhh... just told AA about it. i feel like i wanna cry. or... wait, i have cried. oh well, you cant have it all...

ein better call it a night now... already 1241am... better go and hug my joelis now.