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Saturday, May 31, 2008

gloomy...

yesterday - it was raining very heavily... with lightning... and thunder... i was seated at the sofa after having a meeting with my designer on some of my office's event. suddenly.... where's KLCC tower???? and KL tower??? gone???? errkkss....

and... that was the day that i had my own gloomy day... :( i was disturbed by what was said to me.. maybe it was a miscommunication.. maybe he has his own frustration... but why shoot it on me? :( and why blame it on me? it did sounded like a blame... and as usual... me and my soft heart... cried it all out... until i could not breathe... and i could not drive... i stopped by the roadside to stabilize myself. had a long consoling moment with NA... till i felt much better to drive.. and my hp battery went kaput!

and to make it worst, i was stuck in a very bad traffic due to the rain earlier for more than 1 hour just to get home from KL!! as soon as i got home, charged my hp and went downstairs for dinner with my joelis. i tried very hard to hide my sadness..

when i went up again to the room, saw his miss call... hmmmm... call jugak

Friday, May 30, 2008

joey's next

after lisa's frustration... it was joey's turn today. *sigh* i just put him to sleep coz he was crying. i told him not to be sad and his answer was, 'it is not sad ma... i am just frustrated' and slowly he crawled into bed beside me... 'aww... i am so sorry sweetheart' and i gave him a hug and kissed him. i am already out of words for his dad's actions.

joey called me up at the office today, excited telling me, well actually asking my permission if he can go out with his dad tonight. somehow, i have doubt that it is gonna happen. very rare that his dad would ask to bring them out at night. but anyway, i never stop joelis from seeing their dad. so... there goes... i will have my netball... AD will be busy with his gym and joelis wont be home when i get home... hmmmm...

but.. guess what... as i drove into my parents' porch... i heard joelis' voice!! hmmm they are still home... joey called his dad many times, but his dad did not pick up the phone. they waited till almost 11pm... but their dad still did not turn up nor he has the courtesy to call and tell if its cancelled... and etc... etc... dont need to explain... you can read lisa's frustration too in her blog. thats a pic of joey smsing his dad asking why he did not come...

i am getting sleepy now.. maybe i better sign off... :(

Thursday, May 29, 2008

so not nice

huwaa.. i am feeling the bluecchhh thingy again... so not nice... and i know what i can do.. i am going to eat a lot today - lunch time!! because.. i did not take my breakfast. and i received AD's call in the morning, just wasnt in the right mood.. and he can feel it. he asked me why, but i just dont feel like saying it out. my chest is heavy... my eyes are spinning.. tears in my eyes... (again??) aaarrghh... why la women have to be so complicated!!?? damn!!!

i know he loves me but... why do i have doubt? shit!!! damn it... darn... uuaarrgghhh.....

girls!!! lets go out tomorrow night!! ;)

Monday, May 26, 2008

lil treat for the lil ones :)

as promised... told lisa that i'd give them both a treat. did not think of anything specific at that time. :) last saturday, lisa had her appointment with dr aili at mont kiara. she was in the session for 2 hours! wow... must have lots of things that she needed to say/talk about. i waited outside with joey. joey has been playing with his laptop non stop... while i watched the tv... and fallen asleep once a while.by the time lisa finished, we were so starving. so, we had our dinner just next to the clinic. we've never tried eating there... but that night, it was delicious... :) joey had sore eye so he was avoiding the flash when i took his picture :) hehehe :D and that turned out to be the treat for my lil joelis :) ada rezeki sikit, kita spend sikit2... ada lebih lagi, insyaAllah... boleh la extra sikit.

oh yes... lisa had her first zit on sunday! hehehe :D

to the chef

i have already 'niat' that after the dinner, i will have a special dedication for the chef :) to my dear friend SA... heh heh :D he sort of told me about 2 weeks ago, while we were having a short lunch, while i waited for joelis' music class to end. SA is gonna babysit his sister's house for 2 weeks, and he feels like cooking... and i was there seated... listening to his plans... and agreed on a date. it wont be a huge thing, just a few close friends to sit in and dine and watch dvd/tv etc together. and so, the menu were... lamb, chicken and crab... my fav!! yes!!! and since it is on sunday, i can eat anything!! wuuhhuuu...

dinner starts at 7pm. i was supposed to bring/cook 'pengat durian' but... could not find durian in the morning, so, i just bought a few pieces of curry puffs on the way back from joelis' music class yesterday. AD and i arrived first... with of course, me lost our way for a while... hmmm :D :P we reached the security guard at 701pm... hmmm not bad huh... and if we found the way straight way, we could have reached there earlier! ahakss... Nash was already there, helping SA to cut the bread.. and since i was starving, after my gym session prior to that... hmmm what else... attack!!!

i started with the crab... hmmm delicious... ate them with the bread. and later, i attacked the lamb... slllurrpp.... soft although it looked dry... and i had more crabs... and more... hehehe :D embarrassed already... but hey... he cooked well!! not my fault.. :P and later i took a piece of chicken. hmmm i'd better stop and leave some for Angelina and AA who were already on the way. :) while waiting, for them to arrive, i checked the dvds for any interesting movie to watch. aahh!! found one...

SA, Nash, AD and i watched ocean thirteen... until Angelina and AA arrived... and Nash and SA were busy entertaining and preparing food for them... and i will join once a while... it was so tempting for 2nd round... but my tummy was really full!!! oh yes, AA came with a few roti boom... and i forgot to pack :(

well anyway... SA... i had a great time eating the food that you cooked!!! thank you very much for inviting... and so looking forward for the next time.. ;) *wink*

Saturday, May 24, 2008

now its my turn!

i had the worst traffic experience today - ever! normally from my office, it takes only about 20 minutes at most to AD's place, but today, it took me more than 1 hour to drive to his place! s%#t! i swear that i was really really pissed, annoyed, angry, tired and getting bored to death in my car for the very first time! i dont usually get bored in my car, okay... but today i dont know why?! well, yesterday actually... now its already 2.58am on the 24th may 2008. duhhh....

as i was stuck in the jam, my head started to think. OMG, i am doing too much things right now. until i do not have enough time for myself? goshh... i have been missing doing things that i used to do. and yeahh i missed it. i miss the times when i can go karaoke anytime with AS. or even a simple teh tarik session with SA, james... etc... and i was asking myself today - why??? why am i doing these???

i managed to go out tonight with AD, SA and SA's friend. well, i sort of planned this with AD and SA. its like, we've been wanting to go out and chill but when the time comes, AD and i will get too tired and lazy to go out. maybe because on friday we have the online training and sometimes, AD will be the speaker. and today, we actually went out and dance!! feel a bit awkward and funny... and as SA said, body movements out of rhythm... LOL... :P but i still had a great time... dancing and looking at a few friends of AD dancing... and wow... they were really good!! i wish i can dance like that! my fav couple that i enjoyed watching tonight was a couple of a brother and sister. and if AD did not tell me that they are bro and sis, i would have thought that they are a 'couple' :) i like the way they move... both of them!

to tell the truth, actually i wanted to write about something else tonight... heheheh :D but... yeah as usual, i will be off track! :P maybe there are other things that are more interesting to write about than my boring complaints about joelis' dad. hah!!! there you go.... it is out of my chest! finally... yeup... i am so tired of his i dont know what attitude... 'dont care' attitude??? and i am tired of listening to him, telling me (on the phone of course) that he actually 'want' to give joelis' alimony... but.. where??? and now i realize why i am doing all these... all these odd jobs... simply because i need the extra income to live... joelis and i... am i not tired??? OF COURSE!!! in fact, that was the topic that i was talking to AD about tonight after the night out. i dont like to tell all this to AD coz i think he doesnt need to know so much about my errmmm... not problems but challenges in bringing up my little joelis.

let me try to list down a few things that i do... i have a full time job, i am doing the magnificent - incredible xango business, i am managing a homestay/guesthouse for visitors/expatriates and another business that i share with a partner and at the same time, i am a mother and father to my 2 beautiful kids!! as what i have mentioned to AS just now... i am not only a super mom here... i am already a combination of super woman and cat woman now! LOL.... and.... i think / believe i deserve some time on my own, right???

and why am i doing all these??? because, joelis' dad has not been giving joelis' alimony since feb 2007!!! get it??? and you know what, all these while, i have been secretive about this.. why? simply because i dont want to be read as someone who is bad mouthing others... but, you know what..? i dont care anymore... coz, i know he just doesnt care about joelis!! why doesnt he call if joelis do not call him first?? doesnt he miss his children at all??? or, who is stopping him from doing all the 'kebajikan' for his own flesh and blood?? i dont think i need to answer this question... you can guess for yourself... someone who announce to the whole world about her fairy tale love story by hurting 2 little hearts.... and you know who you are. sesungguhnya Allah swt itu maha kuasa... and your turn will come, insyaAllah

*sigh*... okay... take a deep breath ein... :)

and tomorrow errr today... hehehe :D, i am taking my little joelis for a little treat, for the extra rezeki that was given to me - alhamdulillah :)

joelis, as i have always tell you... i will do whatever that i can to make you both happy :) :* i love you both... very much! and ein needs her beauty sleep now :P signing out at 3.32am

and AD, i love you for loving me ~ although... yeahh... you nag a lot ;P hee hee :D and thank you very much for the 'family time' with joelis and i

Friday, May 23, 2008

my girl's disappointment

our talk in the car while i was driving sending my precious to school.

lisa: ma... you know last week i asked daddy if he was free. and he said he's not?
me: yea.. hmmm...
joey: bila lisa? (translated as: when lisa?)
lisa: last week, and daddy said, next thursday daddy free.
me: so, the thursday was supposed to be yesterday, right?
lisa: uhuh... and..
me: hmmmm.... *i can feel her disapppointment*
lisa: he did not even call. and i cant call him because i am out of credit.
joey: daddy dont remember. well... we call always spend time with AD.. all of us! *in his usual cheerful tone*
lisa: well... i purposely did not call him coz i wanna see if he remembers his own promise.
me: *change the topic* errmmm lisa, you have an appointment with dr aili tomorrow okay..
lisa: yeah okay, i know
joey: ma... why does lisa goes to see dr aili?

and the conversation continues... :)

love to see my cheerful joelis this morning despite all the frustration that they keep in their heart... they can manage it well... err... i pray hard to Allah swt

Thursday, May 22, 2008

ask questions :)

gosh... i really talk a lot today huh? what is wrong with me? must be something bugging me, or else, i wont be this chatty.

am i conservative? AD says i am... well.. maybe... and maybe its different culture. which to me, it's normal and to him i am being conservative? hmmmm.... i dont talk that much and if i do, means i have something in my mind :) and i find some pics err... a bit bluechhh although to some, it's ok.

i think the more i write, the more all nonsense will come out of my head...

move it babe!

was supposed to have my netball training yesterday... well, it was my gym day actually. but the girls decided to have an extra training for netball... for me, no problem... just need to change the gym training. but... it was raining.... so, the netball was cancelled. :D yey..? hehehe :D :P i called AD aka my PT.. if i can come earlier for gym... he told me that one of his student is coming a bit later... so i go first laa... and yesterday, my session was from 630pm to 730pm... lama giler... and since they have the punching bag, i practised my kicks... heh ... heh.. missed the karate lessons actually... and this week, i will be more discipline on my diet.. :O hahaha... well anyway... here's a pic of AD while he was training his trainee.. :D while i was seated on the bench... errr resting.. :O :P

i want to help but

one of my relatives whom i addressed him as 'wak' which means 'uncle', just passed away 2 days ago due to brain tumor. :( *al fatihah* i just visited his wife at the hospital on sunday nite with AD. his wife called me up crying on sunday afternoon, crying, told me that his husband has been admitted as he could not eat or drink anymore. she wanted the mangosteen juice... she tried all she can to make his husband become better. but we are talking about brain tumor here... it was really sad. i saw him the week before, at his home, he was already really weak. i wanted to introduce the mangosteen juice before that, but i was not sure how to start. of course i cannot guarantee that he will get cured but we do have many cancer patients with positive results. and when i told my aunt about it, she said she actually started and bought it from his friend, right after my uncle's operation, BUT she did not continue :(... arggghhh.... and when i heard that, i was frustrated... i wish it was explained thoroughly on how to take the juice. i dont know... if only they followed and be patience in taking it... *sigh*... but i guess God loves him more...

i hope, people out there, dont wait until you or someone you love becomes too weak. when it comes to health, i believe its worth the effort...

shoes

i need new pairs of shoes.... note that - 'pairs'. hahaha :D i am really tired of buying cheaper shoes as they dont last that long, and after a while, my feet hurts... i believe it is better to invest on errr... better shoes. no, i am not so much of a branded person. as long as it looks nice on me, i'd buy them. however, when it comes to shoes.... i think, brand is important! go for clarks, hush puppies and at most, princess... the brand that i love since i was very young. yes, i have tried shoes from 'v', 'cr', 'p' but.... i dont quite like them... it will be okay but then... errmmm... just, not that nice lah :P

hmmmm why am i writing about shoes anyway this morning? coz right now i am wearing my sister's (N1) shoes... hehehhe... it looks nice. ala ala cinderella glass shoes... but it is not that comfortable. whatever la... alamak... i've got a call for the guesthouse tenant!!

got to go... till then... have a great day ahead!!! :) coz i know i will....

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

the question(s) i cant stand

why am i divorced? duhhh....

hmmmm.... this is the 3rd year that i am being single... well, not really single now... i am in a relationship.. just that its the 3rd year i am being a single parent. and yeahh... every now and then people around ask... why was i divorced? hmmmm how should i answer that question. i dont get emotional about it, just that i get tired answering. and to some people, they can accept my answers... but to some, they'd say that my answer is too general. so what...? what has that got to do with you anyway... if you are someone close, then i might wanna say something else. the truth is, the reasons change all the time.. depending on who is asking... heh heh.. :D i dont like to recall those questions myself... but obviously i can still remember when i asked joelis dad why... and his answers were.. ermm.... aahhh i better not comment further. those were my pasts... and as i have repeatedly mentioned here in my blog, i am having a real good time now :) i am not a person who would pretend that i am a princess in fairy tale... i do have the ups and downs... :) and there is nothing out there that i cannot handle at the moment... insyaAllah... Allah swt is always by my side... and those who needs Him :)

the earthquake experience?

ya... ya.. ya... weekends are for family. and i look forward to that all the time. i was late to xango's office last saturday... had guests at home.. and i was very sure that AD is going to nag... errkkss... yeah... he is very particular about time.. hmmm... well, i would be on time most of the time, just last saturday, i sort of lost track of the time. well, anyway, just before i got to the office, AD called me and told me that no guests turned up, and i dont need to park my car. hmmmm... i was really starving and my mom cooked my favorite dish. picked up AD, and drove back for lunch :D heheheh.... and.. after that lisa asked if we can go out for a movie. hmmm... told her to ask AD... and when AD said, 'yes' everyone got ready... it was the boys' choice this time. joey has decided to watch ironman. okay laa... whatever... parked the car at AD's place and we walked to times square. hmmmm luck was not on joey's side.. ironman's ticket were not enough for 4. so, we had to decide on the next movie... which was narnia! yey.... :D hehehehe... we had another one and a half hour before the movie starts. joelis wanted snacks. so, we stopped at kenny rogers for snacks.. lisa had mac and cheese while joey had his ice cream jelly... hmmm yummy... and i only get to watch... :( cut story short... i was really sleepy before the movie, and i thought i was gonna fall asleep in the cinema... but... i did not!! love the movie!!! although some of the creatures did scare me a bit hehehe :D guys... go watch narnia.. :) for aslan!! heh heh :D

sunday, hmmmm what happened eh? oh... AD came over and we played badminton.. :D yeup... we took turn, lisa, joey, AD and i... hmmm should have snapped some pics huh... sorry... i forgot lah.. :P

monday, had things to do too at home... and i slept for about 2 hours!! and AD came for badminton again... hehehe... starting to get addicted to badminton now huh.. AD had dinner at our place... and later i drove him home. we had the monday online training...

and... i get to experience the affect of earthquake from north sumatra... hmmmm... we were watching movie and suddenly our sofa moved sideways... i mean the floor... errmm... whatever lah... and i thought i was imagining it.. but it was real!

AD: did you feel that?
me: yeah... what was that??
AD: hmmm... hey again..
me: hmmm o'uh...
AD: do you think we should go down now?
me: errmm i dunno... you wanna still stay here?
AD: heh..heh... :D

and true enough, an hour later, there was news on tv... earthquake in north sumatra.

Friday, May 16, 2008

the birthday dinner

we have not been out for quite sometime. the last time we went out, and when it turned out to be a disaster... hehehe... exaggerating... well... it was true :P we have not been out errr... clubbing.. my friends' band has stopped their contract in shangrila. and the band that we love at GM has changed. so, where else? AD and i have not been out dancing... we both have been spending our time with work, family, kids... etc... i have started to realized that we rarely have the chance to talk about us. :) hmmm...

well anyway, last week, i told AD, why dont we go to WH and dance on thursday. and he said okay... also depending if i still have the urge after the gym session LOL.... :D and ... guess what... his friend invited him for a birthday dinner, and AD invited me to come along, since i know the guy :) AD's friend is based in morocco and will come back to kl every now and then. so, there we were at the curve, italiannies... i hope i spelled the restaurant's name correctly. lots of food... and i packed some pizza home for joelis :) irwan, the birthday boy had to stand on the chair while the waiters sang the birthday song for him! heheheh :D we had a good time :) and... there goes our plan for a dance session :O

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

give me the light

the tears visited me again this morning. and as i am typing, its building up in my eyes. sometimes, i need to cry.. i need to let it all out. i cannot pretend that i can be strong all the time. i have my times too. times that when i have made proper plans for all - everything to be managed smoothly and all of a sudden people comes in and tear off all the plans that i have made. i should have a back up plan but, *sigh* ahhh... that is how it is lah. lots of arrogant people around. sometimes, you'll just have to live with it.

step by step ein, and things will be alright.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

just another day

i am feeling a bit bluech today actually. learnt something last night, which now made me feel, errmmm how do i say it yeah... ermm... not a nice feeling. :( i wish i was told earlier.. coz i have already made plans... :( hmmm its okay lah... i'll work something out. things will get better. yes it will!

really missed joey. he just had a hair cut :) its all N3's fault... we went to carrefour to get a few stuffs. so, while i queue to pay, i told my sister to take joey for a quick hair cut. and see what happened! i actually screamed looking at the new haircut. :O joey has been asking to do that hair style, like the style he had when we were in London in 2004. but he will look naughty... *sigh* ahhh... its done anyway...

will have another netball session today after office. had my gym session yesterday. sick or not, still had the gym session. and after that i slept for a while at my hideout.

i am a bit high right now... no.. no i am not on any medication... hehehehe.. just that, feel a bit 'i dont know what to do first' sickness... hahahaha :D LOL... ohh gosh. i am gonna miss bella drama today!! shucksss...

mothers' day celebration

here are some pics sent by N4... there are more to come in the album.

my mom receiving flowers from my dad
the dessert that N4 prepared
me and my precious joelis, with the cards that joelis gave and the beautiful roses :) :*
my eldest sister N1 with her 3 kids
our dinner, lamb, prepared by N3

Monday, May 12, 2008

its another week already?

gosh... the weekend is too short for me to spend time with the family. had my netball training after almost a year not playing netball. well, i did a few shoots at home.. but.. thats about it :) the training was supposed to be 2 hours, but since it was our first after a verrryyyyy long break... we stopped after 1 hour! :D thought i could joined my friends at bsc for bonding session but had to canceled because i need to pick up joelis at N1's house. got home, N3 called to let me know that my close relative is here from Johor. so, i drove to ampang to meet up and had fun chit chatting with my 'cuz' - yote! very talkative 'small' girl. she is so petite that i think she is as big as lisa :P she is as cheerful as always, and her wedding is coming soon! hmmm i better start sending my new clothes to the tailor.

sat: drove off to kajang to meet up with my aunt. since i was driving alone, i lost the way... . thought of taking joelis with me, but they were already kidnapped by N3 :D hehehe.. and i thought i'd have time to go to the office... but... i spent longer time at my aunt's place... and did my facial there too! :) done just before 3pm. smsed AD and asked him how was the meet up at the office. looked like no one turned up so, he went off to do some other errands. joined him and NS later at times square.

dinner: had mothers' day dinner at home. N3 and N4 prepared dinner and dessert. food was good, but somehow, i did not have the appetite to eat a lot. :( didnt finished my lamb. weird coz lamb is my favorite dish. why aa? oh yes... we sort of dressed up a bit lah... hehehe :D

oh yes, the kids had some show that night too. after dinner, we went upstairs and watched the AF concert... borrriingg... as usual.. missed nadia's turn.

ohh... i received a mothers' day gift from my mom. heheh :D thanks mom.... :) *malu* i received a beautiful bouquet of roses from joelis. will upload the pic once N4 has uploaded all the pics from her camera.

sunday: didnt think that i'd see AD. but.. jumpa jugak :D hehehe.. was telling him about the lamb, the night before. and to cut story short, N3 made lamb sandwich for AD's lunch. before that i made fried meehoon as requested by my mom. :) then, rushed to send joelis for their music class. told AD that he have to take the train to my mom's place. AD had lunch at my mom's place. he did his work while i wash the dishes.. then went to jusco with joelis. AD had to get a present for his friend, joelis as usual, cant go to the bookstore. they get excited... and... apa lagi, kena pow la... got them a book each... and as usual, they are given a budget of RM20 per person and they can choose what book they want :)

whatever it is, the weekend seems to be too short! joelis will be having their exam next week.

Friday, May 9, 2008

ahlamak!!

getting pissed right now... i dont know why but the counter on my page suddenly went haywire. tried to put back.. but.. aahhhh....

grrr... why is it so cold at the office now?? :( i think too many people are on leave, thats why its colder than usual.

had a long day yesterday. was supposed to have a relaxing time with AD and talk... yeah.. talk.. we rarely get the chance to actually talk. i mean, talking about other things than work. it has always been about work. and when there is issue, it tends to pile up. and knowing me, it will just burst. hehehe :D well anyway, our talking session turned out to be... having a meeting with a potential customer/distributor. :O errkkss... met up with AD at the office yesterday, and he was having a meeting with a guy with a strong BO! OMG... i almost fainted!! yeah yeah yeah exaggerating.. hehehe... no, seriously...!! i dont know how AD could stand sitting next to this guy for more than 1 hour!! i salute him laa... he must have a very strong filter in his nose! LOL...

well anyway, later, after maghrib, we went to this prospect's house. no, we dont usually do this, normally the meetings will be held at the office but since she lived near AD's place, i decided to meet up with her and her daughter. so... there we were... AD and i... AD did a brilliant job as usual, explaining about the company, product and also our system. there is something about this prospect tho... i dunno... lots of stories in between. we find them interesting and full of energy.. but... we'll just reserve our comments at the moment until we see them signing up :) and her daughter has a blog. since i am a blogger... i get excited with other people's blog. personally, i feel that her blog is tiring. its like adlin's comment in last week's AF's concert. when we drive, and if we stay on the 3rd gear all the time, gearbox can burst! so, thats what i mean by tiring - tired reading her blog. its too hyper... :) maybe just not my type of blog that i would read often... sometimes maybe.. i am a more relaxed person, or at least trying to be :)

joelis were already asleep when i got home. well, the meeting ended almost 11pm... and after i actually get to have a talk/chat with AD... it was already very late...

oh well... about the prospect... lets just see okay... but now i am really sleepy... and i missed my joelis and AD.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

bella

heheheh :D mesti nak gelak dulu... well, actually it was lisa and my mom who got addicted first. i started to watch this drama about 3 weeks ago, i think. so kiranya, dah half way lah. best jugak. tv3 every day till thursday rasanya at 630pm and lasted for 1 hour. but yesterday since i left office a bit later than usual, i reached home just before 700pm... so termiss sikit lah. and yang kelakar tu, AD has started to watch my drama too hehehe.... so, last night, before AD starts to marah, i have already smsed him saying that today, i will start my gym around 740pm. after the drama, prayer then only gym... so, dia kena makan dulu, kalau tak, kalau mamat tu lapar, bebel satu minggu tak habis! :P hehehe :D apa la jadik agaknya today when bella meets zahar... hmmm kalau you all nak tahu... tengok lah malam ni.... stay tuned!

no...no.... no datuk jalal this time... yang ada azhar sulaiman and the rest... but they are good la... of course la kan... all the actors and actress orang2 experienced.

lagi satu.... mana pergi my 'poke' eh??? lama tak dengar citer :O hmmm musykil...

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

dear diary :P

my mood: :) :P :* :O :s all are there.

my thoughts: time flies really fast nowadays

i miss: my joelis and AD

i want: to go on holiday... really be on holiday and not think of work :P hehehe :D can aarrr? and spend lots and lots of muhney!!!

i feel: tired - my mind is tired coz i dont stop thinking and working. but at the same time i am satisfied with myself and achievement(s). however, joelis feels that i have been too busy. :( i am sorry huney bun bun... but i need to make this work for us. i wish i can do better but at this moment this is what i need to do okay darlings.. :* i am at the office now... missing both my joelis. i know they are back from school... will give them a call shortly. no matter how busy i am at the office, i will call them just to hear their voice :) i hope they can understand that nothing matters more than them in this world for me. but they fight a lot nowadays... and i get tensed :( but if they are okay.... hmmmm love to see them laugh and play together. must be the phase. :) i just uploaded this pic below on my handphone.

my joelis: lisa is very protective, and sentimental at the same time. she told me that she missed her dad last weekend when we spent time with AD. other than that, i will keep it between lisa and i... its not a routine that we spend every weekend with AD, but joey is enjoying his company. somehow, i can feel that lisa is feeling a bit ackward.. yeup... she has gone through a lot. she wants me to be happy. and at the same time i can feel that whenever AD is around, lisa will miss her dad more. and there is nothing that i can do to make her feel any better except being there for her and just listen :( joey is a bit different. he is more relaxed than his sister.. he is enjoying every moment of his life, whatever is presented before him. and currently, i know he is happy with AD around.

bila lagi nak amik gambar macam ni ekkk??? buhsan laa... no new pics... raul!!!!!! kekekeke :D

Sunday, May 4, 2008

blame it on the hormone

we need something to blame it on, dont we? yeahh it must be the hormone... why do women have to be complicated? or even if they are not, the way they think is complicated enough. and, me being a woman, i cant seem to run away from it - being / thinking in a complicated way. why cant women think or act more like men? they say what they think of and they mean it... err... i hope that is true / right / correct. its like what they want, they say it... unlike women, they may say something, but it can mean something else?! ihik..ihik... :D yeahhh it happens sometimes. why cant women just take it easy.... take things easily and dont complicate matters. err... are all this getting too complicated to be read? :O errkksss...

i have been having all these ups and downs, when if i were to think about it, its just plain 'nothing!' or i am just making things complicated... whoops.. its the word again. well anyway, that picture was taken when i did my reccee at taman alam, kuala selangor. we are planning to have a day with our customers there. and you see.... how serious i looked.. errmmm do i look like having a complicated mind at all?!! and... if you see me now, my hair is shorter :( huk.. huk... yeah... i was fed-up yesterday, and decided to have a hair cut before i go for my meeting at xango office. and... we both were wearing black... ahakss... :P jangan marah.... ouch... these naughty mosquitoes are biting my legs right now!! errr.. and can you see the complicated tree roots? hehehe :D

well anyway, me being me... broke down into tears... ahhh.... drama... like what my bro-in-law would say. well you know, me sometimes, or shall i say, most of the times, i keep whatever i feel inside... and when the day came... the wrong day... it will just blurt out... and i start to cry :P i cant even talk... AD was getting confused.. :P whatever it is, they have been sorted out... although... me being me... still have a bit grouchiness... heheheh :D

and now, everyone is asleep... and i will too soon... just need to write all these mixed feelings in my blog... for you to read :) and thank you AA for listening and pointing out our weaknesses being women. AA and i were like playing the chasing game.. i would call her and she did not pick up the call, and when she calls me back, i would either busy or did not hear the phone.. finally, we get to talk... and we were laughing about it!! :D

AD is a wonderful person. and alhamdulillah i am grateful being introduced to him. cuma... dia tu kuat bebel lah! :P tak larat nak dengar... yeah yeah... i know he is my personal trainer... but i am not miss fitness. i get more cranky when i am not allowed to eat stuff that i have been eating for the past 35 years! duhh... ahhh complaining now :P hahahaha... but... there is positive improvement... 'okay la tuh' bak kata saeda.. :P ahaksss... can you see the path behind me in that picture? :) slow and steady babe....

i think, for now... afundi nadia... errmmm no... i have not voted yet

good night all... AD, thank you for being with us like a family. and as what lisa said, he is a nice guy. and...

and... and... being the complicated creature... i want a good man, not a nice man? and AD is getting there