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Showing posts from May, 2008

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gloomy...

yesterday - it was raining very heavily... with lightning... and thunder... i was seated at the sofa after having a meeting with my designer on some of my office's event. suddenly.... where's KLCC tower???? and KL tower??? gone???? errkkss....

and... that was the day that i had my own gloomy day... :( i was disturbed by what was said to me.. maybe it was a miscommunication.. maybe he has his own frustration... but why shoot it on me? :( and why blame it on me? it did sounded like a blame... and as usual... me and my soft heart... cried it all out... until i could not breathe... and i could not drive... i stopped by the roadside to stabilize myself. had a long consoling moment with NA... till i felt much better to drive.. and my hp battery went kaput!

and to make it worst, i was stuck in a very bad traffic due to the rain earlier for more than 1 hour just to get home from KL!! as soon as i got home, charged my hp and went downstairs for dinner with my joelis. i tried very hard t…

joey's next

after lisa's frustration... it was joey's turn today. *sigh* i just put him to sleep coz he was crying. i told him not to be sad and his answer was, 'it is not sad ma... i am just frustrated' and slowly he crawled into bed beside me... 'aww... i am so sorry sweetheart' and i gave him a hug and kissed him. i am already out of words for his dad's actions.

joey called me up at the office today, excited telling me, well actually asking my permission if he can go out with his dad tonight. somehow, i have doubt that it is gonna happen. very rare that his dad would ask to bring them out at night. but anyway, i never stop joelis from seeing their dad. so... there goes... i will have my netball... AD will be busy with his gym and joelis wont be home when i get home... hmmmm...

but.. guess what... as i drove into my parents' porch... i heard joelis' voice!! hmmm they are still home... joey called his dad many times, but his dad did not pick up the phone. they w…

so not nice

huwaa.. i am feeling the bluecchhh thingy again... so not nice... and i know what i can do.. i am going to eat a lot today - lunch time!! because.. i did not take my breakfast. and i received AD's call in the morning, just wasnt in the right mood.. and he can feel it. he asked me why, but i just dont feel like saying it out. my chest is heavy... my eyes are spinning.. tears in my eyes... (again??) aaarrghh... why la women have to be so complicated!!?? damn!!!

i know he loves me but... why do i have doubt? shit!!! damn it... darn... uuaarrgghhh.....

girls!!! lets go out tomorrow night!! ;)

lil treat for the lil ones :)

as promised... told lisa that i'd give them both a treat. did not think of anything specific at that time. :) last saturday, lisa had her appointment with dr aili at mont kiara. she was in the session for 2 hours! wow... must have lots of things that she needed to say/talk about. i waited outside with joey. joey has been playing with his laptop non stop... while i watched the tv... and fallen asleep once a while.by the time lisa finished, we were so starving. so, we had our dinner just next to the clinic. we've never tried eating there... but that night, it was delicious... :) joey had sore eye so he was avoiding the flash when i took his picture :) hehehe :D and that turned out to be the treat for my lil joelis :) ada rezeki sikit, kita spend sikit2... ada lebih lagi, insyaAllah... boleh la extra sikit.

oh yes... lisa had her first zit on sunday! hehehe :D

to the chef

i have already 'niat' that after the dinner, i will have a special dedication for the chef :) to my dear friend SA... heh heh :D he sort of told me about 2 weeks ago, while we were having a short lunch, while i waited for joelis' music class to end. SA is gonna babysit his sister's house for 2 weeks, and he feels like cooking... and i was there seated... listening to his plans... and agreed on a date. it wont be a huge thing, just a few close friends to sit in and dine and watch dvd/tv etc together. and so, the menu were... lamb, chicken and crab... my fav!! yes!!! and since it is on sunday, i can eat anything!! wuuhhuuu...

dinner starts at 7pm. i was supposed to bring/cook 'pengat durian' but... could not find durian in the morning, so, i just bought a few pieces of curry puffs on the way back from joelis' music class yesterday. AD and i arrived first... with of course, me lost our way for a while... hmmm :D :P we reached the security guard at 701pm... hmmm…

now its my turn!

i had the worst traffic experience today - ever! normally from my office, it takes only about 20 minutes at most to AD's place, but today, it took me more than 1 hour to drive to his place! s%#t! i swear that i was really really pissed, annoyed, angry, tired and getting bored to death in my car for the very first time! i dont usually get bored in my car, okay... but today i dont know why?! well, yesterday actually... now its already 2.58am on the 24th may 2008. duhhh....

as i was stuck in the jam, my head started to think. OMG, i am doing too much things right now. until i do not have enough time for myself? goshh... i have been missing doing things that i used to do. and yeahh i missed it. i miss the times when i can go karaoke anytime with AS. or even a simple teh tarik session with SA, james... etc... and i was asking myself today - why??? why am i doing these???

i managed to go out tonight with AD, SA and SA's friend. well, i sort of planned this with AD and SA. its like, we…

my girl's disappointment

our talk in the car while i was driving sending my precious to school.

lisa: ma... you know last week i asked daddy if he was free. and he said he's not?
me: yea.. hmmm...
joey: bila lisa? (translated as: when lisa?)
lisa: last week, and daddy said, next thursday daddy free.
me: so, the thursday was supposed to be yesterday, right?
lisa: uhuh... and..
me: hmmmm.... *i can feel her disapppointment*
lisa: he did not even call. and i cant call him because i am out of credit.
joey: daddy dont remember. well... we call always spend time with AD.. all of us! *in his usual cheerful tone*
lisa: well... i purposely did not call him coz i wanna see if he remembers his own promise.
me: *change the topic* errmmm lisa, you have an appointment with dr aili tomorrow okay..
lisa: yeah okay, i know
joey: ma... why does lisa goes to see dr aili?

and the conversation continues... :)

love to see my cheerful joelis this morning despite all the frustration that they keep in their heart... they can manage it well... e…

ask questions :)

gosh... i really talk a lot today huh? what is wrong with me? must be something bugging me, or else, i wont be this chatty.

am i conservative? AD says i am... well.. maybe... and maybe its different culture. which to me, it's normal and to him i am being conservative? hmmmm.... i dont talk that much and if i do, means i have something in my mind :) and i find some pics err... a bit bluechhh although to some, it's ok.

i think the more i write, the more all nonsense will come out of my head...

move it babe!

was supposed to have my netball training yesterday... well, it was my gym day actually. but the girls decided to have an extra training for netball... for me, no problem... just need to change the gym training. but... it was raining.... so, the netball was cancelled. :D yey..? hehehe :D :P i called AD aka my PT.. if i can come earlier for gym... he told me that one of his student is coming a bit later... so i go first laa... and yesterday, my session was from 630pm to 730pm... lama giler... and since they have the punching bag, i practised my kicks... heh ... heh.. missed the karate lessons actually... and this week, i will be more discipline on my diet.. :O hahaha... well anyway... here's a pic of AD while he was training his trainee.. :D while i was seated on the bench... errr resting.. :O :P

i want to help but

one of my relatives whom i addressed him as 'wak' which means 'uncle', just passed away 2 days ago due to brain tumor. :( *al fatihah* i just visited his wife at the hospital on sunday nite with AD. his wife called me up crying on sunday afternoon, crying, told me that his husband has been admitted as he could not eat or drink anymore. she wanted the mangosteen juice... she tried all she can to make his husband become better. but we are talking about brain tumor here... it was really sad. i saw him the week before, at his home, he was already really weak. i wanted to introduce the mangosteen juice before that, but i was not sure how to start. of course i cannot guarantee that he will get cured but we do have many cancer patients with positive results. and when i told my aunt about it, she said she actually started and bought it from his friend, right after my uncle's operation, BUT she did not continue :(... arggghhh.... and when i heard that, i was frustrated..…

shoes

i need new pairs of shoes.... note that - 'pairs'. hahaha :D i am really tired of buying cheaper shoes as they dont last that long, and after a while, my feet hurts... i believe it is better to invest on errr... better shoes. no, i am not so much of a branded person. as long as it looks nice on me, i'd buy them. however, when it comes to shoes.... i think, brand is important! go for clarks, hush puppies and at most, princess... the brand that i love since i was very young. yes, i have tried shoes from 'v', 'cr', 'p' but.... i dont quite like them... it will be okay but then... errmmm... just, not that nice lah :P

hmmmm why am i writing about shoes anyway this morning? coz right now i am wearing my sister's (N1) shoes... hehehhe... it looks nice. ala ala cinderella glass shoes... but it is not that comfortable. whatever la... alamak... i've got a call for the guesthouse tenant!!

got to go... till then... have a great day ahead!!! :) coz i know …

the question(s) i cant stand

why am i divorced? duhhh....

hmmmm.... this is the 3rd year that i am being single... well, not really single now... i am in a relationship.. just that its the 3rd year i am being a single parent. and yeahh... every now and then people around ask... why was i divorced? hmmmm how should i answer that question. i dont get emotional about it, just that i get tired answering. and to some people, they can accept my answers... but to some, they'd say that my answer is too general. so what...? what has that got to do with you anyway... if you are someone close, then i might wanna say something else. the truth is, the reasons change all the time.. depending on who is asking... heh heh.. :D i dont like to recall those questions myself... but obviously i can still remember when i asked joelis dad why... and his answers were.. ermm.... aahhh i better not comment further. those were my pasts... and as i have repeatedly mentioned here in my blog, i am having a real good time now :) i am not a p…

the earthquake experience?

ya... ya.. ya... weekends are for family. and i look forward to that all the time. i was late to xango's office last saturday... had guests at home.. and i was very sure that AD is going to nag... errkkss... yeah... he is very particular about time.. hmmm... well, i would be on time most of the time, just last saturday, i sort of lost track of the time. well, anyway, just before i got to the office, AD called me and told me that no guests turned up, and i dont need to park my car. hmmmm... i was really starving and my mom cooked my favorite dish. picked up AD, and drove back for lunch :D heheheh.... and.. after that lisa asked if we can go out for a movie. hmmm... told her to ask AD... and when AD said, 'yes' everyone got ready... it was the boys' choice this time. joey has decided to watch ironman. okay laa... whatever... parked the car at AD's place and we walked to times square. hmmmm luck was not on joey's side.. ironman's ticket were not enough for 4. …

the birthday dinner

we have not been out for quite sometime. the last time we went out, and when it turned out to be a disaster... hehehe... exaggerating... well... it was true :P we have not been out errr... clubbing.. my friends' band has stopped their contract in shangrila. and the band that we love at GM has changed. so, where else? AD and i have not been out dancing... we both have been spending our time with work, family, kids... etc... i have started to realized that we rarely have the chance to talk about us. :) hmmm...

well anyway, last week, i told AD, why dont we go to WH and dance on thursday. and he said okay... also depending if i still have the urge after the gym session LOL.... :D and ... guess what... his friend invited him for a birthday dinner, and AD invited me to come along, since i know the guy :) AD's friend is based in morocco and will come back to kl every now and then. so, there we were at the curve, italiannies... i hope i spelled the restaurant's name correctly. lo…

give me the light

the tears visited me again this morning. and as i am typing, its building up in my eyes. sometimes, i need to cry.. i need to let it all out. i cannot pretend that i can be strong all the time. i have my times too. times that when i have made proper plans for all - everything to be managed smoothly and all of a sudden people comes in and tear off all the plans that i have made. i should have a back up plan but, *sigh* ahhh... that is how it is lah. lots of arrogant people around. sometimes, you'll just have to live with it.

step by step ein, and things will be alright.

just another day

i am feeling a bit bluech today actually. learnt something last night, which now made me feel, errmmm how do i say it yeah... ermm... not a nice feeling. :( i wish i was told earlier.. coz i have already made plans... :( hmmm its okay lah... i'll work something out. things will get better. yes it will!

really missed joey. he just had a hair cut :) its all N3's fault... we went to carrefour to get a few stuffs. so, while i queue to pay, i told my sister to take joey for a quick hair cut. and see what happened! i actually screamed looking at the new haircut. :O joey has been asking to do that hair style, like the style he had when we were in London in 2004. but he will look naughty... *sigh* ahhh... its done anyway...

will have another netball session today after office. had my gym session yesterday. sick or not, still had the gym session. and after that i slept for a while at my hideout.

i am a bit high right now... no.. no i am not on any medication... hehehehe.. just that, fee…

mothers' day celebration

here are some pics sent by N4... there are more to come in the album.

my mom receiving flowers from my dad
the dessert that N4 prepared
me and my precious joelis, with the cards that joelis gave and the beautiful roses :) :*
my eldest sister N1 with her 3 kids
our dinner, lamb, prepared by N3

its another week already?

gosh... the weekend is too short for me to spend time with the family. had my netball training after almost a year not playing netball. well, i did a few shoots at home.. but.. thats about it :) the training was supposed to be 2 hours, but since it was our first after a verrryyyyy long break... we stopped after 1 hour! :D thought i could joined my friends at bsc for bonding session but had to canceled because i need to pick up joelis at N1's house. got home, N3 called to let me know that my close relative is here from Johor. so, i drove to ampang to meet up and had fun chit chatting with my 'cuz' - yote! very talkative 'small' girl. she is so petite that i think she is as big as lisa :P she is as cheerful as always, and her wedding is coming soon! hmmm i better start sending my new clothes to the tailor.

sat: drove off to kajang to meet up with my aunt. since i was driving alone, i lost the way... . thought of taking joelis with me, but they were already kidnapped …

ahlamak!!

getting pissed right now... i dont know why but the counter on my page suddenly went haywire. tried to put back.. but.. aahhhh....

grrr... why is it so cold at the office now?? :( i think too many people are on leave, thats why its colder than usual.

had a long day yesterday. was supposed to have a relaxing time with AD and talk... yeah.. talk.. we rarely get the chance to actually talk. i mean, talking about other things than work. it has always been about work. and when there is issue, it tends to pile up. and knowing me, it will just burst. hehehe :D well anyway, our talking session turned out to be... having a meeting with a potential customer/distributor. :O errkkss... met up with AD at the office yesterday, and he was having a meeting with a guy with a strong BO! OMG... i almost fainted!! yeah yeah yeah exaggerating.. hehehe... no, seriously...!! i dont know how AD could stand sitting next to this guy for more than 1 hour!! i salute him laa... he must have a very strong filter…

bella

heheheh :D mesti nak gelak dulu... well, actually it was lisa and my mom who got addicted first. i started to watch this drama about 3 weeks ago, i think. so kiranya, dah half way lah. best jugak. tv3 every day till thursday rasanya at 630pm and lasted for 1 hour. but yesterday since i left office a bit later than usual, i reached home just before 700pm... so termiss sikit lah. and yang kelakar tu, AD has started to watch my drama too hehehe.... so, last night, before AD starts to marah, i have already smsed him saying that today, i will start my gym around 740pm. after the drama, prayer then only gym... so, dia kena makan dulu, kalau tak, kalau mamat tu lapar, bebel satu minggu tak habis! :P hehehe :D apa la jadik agaknya today when bella meets zahar... hmmm kalau you all nak tahu... tengok lah malam ni.... stay tuned!

no...no.... no datuk jalal this time... yang ada azhar sulaiman and the rest... but they are good la... of course la kan... all the actors and actress orang2 experience…

dear diary :P

my mood: :) :P :* :O :s all are there.

my thoughts: time flies really fast nowadays

i miss: my joelis and AD

i want: to go on holiday... really be on holiday and not think of work :P hehehe :D can aarrr? and spend lots and lots of muhney!!!

i feel: tired - my mind is tired coz i dont stop thinking and working. but at the same time i am satisfied with myself and achievement(s). however, joelis feels that i have been too busy. :( i am sorry huney bun bun... but i need to make this work for us. i wish i can do better but at this moment this is what i need to do okay darlings.. :* i am at the office now... missing both my joelis. i know they are back from school... will give them a call shortly. no matter how busy i am at the office, i will call them just to hear their voice :) i hope they can understand that nothing matters more than them in this world for me. but they fight a lot nowadays... and i get tensed :( but if they are okay.... hmmmm love to see them laugh and play together. must…

blame it on the hormone

we need something to blame it on, dont we? yeahh it must be the hormone... why do women have to be complicated? or even if they are not, the way they think is complicated enough. and, me being a woman, i cant seem to run away from it - being / thinking in a complicated way. why cant women think or act more like men? they say what they think of and they mean it... err... i hope that is true / right / correct. its like what they want, they say it... unlike women, they may say something, but it can mean something else?! ihik..ihik... :D yeahhh it happens sometimes. why cant women just take it easy.... take things easily and dont complicate matters. err... are all this getting too complicated to be read? :O errkksss...

i have been having all these ups and downs, when if i were to think about it, its just plain 'nothing!' or i am just making things complicated... whoops.. its the word again. well anyway, that picture was taken when i did my reccee at taman alam, kuala selangor. we a…