huh?

finally, i have the time [stealing some work time :(] to update my blog. had i updated my blog last nite, the content would be different. :P and this is exactly how i feel right now. i just came out from the boardroom after an ISO meeting. felt relieved as most of my tasks for the year have been completed and my goals are mostly achieved :) yess… the feeling of satisfaction! that is most of the work load that has been bugging my head. went back to my workstation in the middle of the meeting as my boss requested for me to prepare a presentation. i saw an email that put a smile on my face… i did not read it immediately as i only have like 10 minutes to compile the stuff for my boss to present.

when i returned to my workstation, the 2nd email just put an extra smile on my face. it may be simple, but perhaps… it was the sender? :P aahh… no time being mushy… brush it off.. [again…] will not let my emotions get to me this time. keep on telling myself. i should know my limitations… and somehow i guess it has reached the red line and it triggers me. the signs have arrived. and i should do something about it? but why? why cant i just enjoy the moment? and suddenly even thinking about it giving me goosebumps. have i been thinking about it too much…? even if i say that i don’t, verbally, my head knows well :P coz, it cant take it anymore… can it? *sigh* think with your head, ein… and not with your heart… :( and that should be able to hold… and all of sudden, i feel sad… really sad… and starting to feel shitty again… it was all my fault.. but… things like that cant really be controlled, can it? and perhaps.. i am playing with fire…? ;) that makes life more interesting and challenging, isn’t? :O don’t you have enough challenge(s) in your life ein?? that voice comes up again… and… me, started to think… again… uurrgghhh… but it makes me happy! and i guess… i am being tested… again… cherish it ein… nurture it… if it makes you in high spirits… :P you deserve it!! nice things do not come often

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