Monday, February 26, 2007

tercipta untukku

hehehe i was called karaoke freak... sabor je laa... nanti ko paintball freak! hahaha... tak pe... at least my hobby murah sket compared to pi tembak menembak tuh... :P

had lunch at secret recipe with the usual lunch kaki... saw 2 well-dressed guys. ally was watching the guy who wore blue shirt with dockers...and brown leather shoes... cool... and me, have always love to see guys with stripe shirts.. especially if the person is tall. perghhh.. so, the plain blue shirt guy did not catch my attention at all lah..kan.. ;) james was being quiet seated beside me.. sure dia pompuan ni tak de kerja lain nak komen apa orang pakai jer... hahaha.. relaks la brader... we were just admiring and nothing more...

as i got back from lunch, ally came over to my desk and pass me ole2 from amsterdam... cool!! LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!! check this out... well...yeaa.. she was supposed to bring back the handsome prince... unfortunately the one that she brought home is still in a form of a frog!! har... har.. har... suka!!! :D kena kiss dulu la baru jadik handsome prince.. :D cute tak... the one on the keyboard... :) thank you ally!!

apa-apa pun lagu nie best!

Tercipta Untukku ~ Ungu

menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku
mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku
banyak kata
yang tak mampu kuungkapkan
kepada dirimu


aku ingin engkau slalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untukku
sepanjang hidupku
aku ingin engkau slalu
hadir dan temani aku
disetiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
kau tercipta untuk
kumeski waktu akan mampu
memanggil seluruh ragaku
ku ingin kau tau
ku slalu milikmu
yang mencintaimu
sepanjang hidupku

Sunday, February 25, 2007

berdua lebih baik

okay..its 240am.... why am i not asleep? my mind is tired. yeup...but the reason why i cant sleep is because i have things working in my head. my addiction is another thing... hahaha relax... nothing serious... except... memokaikan poket :O. i had dinner with my joelis and sister at chillis bangsar today. i think it was the best so far after a few visits. bukan apa, we ordered what we want and can eat instead of ikut nafsu like we used to... hehhe..:D and the bill came up to less than RM100 spent.. ok laaa... normally if we have dinner there, it'll be more than that. lisa was happy for getting her mac & cheese... 1.5 plate okay..;) joey had his kiddie burger and half of lisa's mac & cheese. i shared egg roles and mushroom jack with my sister, and we finished our food! yey...

somethin that my friend said about me abt 3 nites ago that makes me think.. which is, i make my life complicated... at times.. i hope...:( yea...maybe i do. reason: i try my best not to hurt other people's feelings. easiest example... a person who used to love and also hurt me wanted to ask me out for teh tarik just now.. yeaa... about few hours ago... but somehow, i knew i shouldnt coz if i do...then i will be back to the same cycle...which i dont want to... but, i know by saying no, he will feel sad... but... how..? i said no anyway... no matter how bored i was tonight... i managed to say 'no'... and i am proud of myself...:) coz, i guess, its about time that i know what i really want in life... tak ke?

as i m typing this.... some close people in my life are back! james, angelina, jennifer... and i hope james plan for tomorrow nite jadik... or should i say... tonite..:) i'd better take my medicine regularly now... my head is really spinning... jennifer was supposed to bring back men in her suit case...but i guess... gagal! hahahah...:D i was watching a cerekarama on astro ria just now...and saw that guy walked...he reminded me of someone... ahakss... i dunno whether i should be sad... or happy.. or whatever... but/and yes, he has always been on my mind... just trying to rub it off la.. sort of.

i think i'd better sign off... its getting really late... and i have not been getting enough sleep.. ok people... nite...nite... ;-)

me signing off at 300am. before that.... layannnnnn...

Berdua Lebih Baik ~ Acha Septriasa

Lihat awan di sana
Berarak mengikuti
Pasti dia pun tahu

Ingin aku lewati
Lembah hidup yang tak indah
Namun harus ku jalani

Berdua denganmu
Pasti lebih baik
Aku yakin itu

Bila sendiri
Hati bagai langit
Berselimut kabut
Berdua denganmu

Lihat awan di sana
Berarak mengikuti
Pasti dia pun tahu

Ingin aku lewati
Lembah hidup yang tak indah
Namun harus ku jalani

Lihatlah awan di sana
Berarak mengikuti
Pasti dia pun tahu

Ingin aku lewati
Lembah hidup yang tak indah
Namun harus ku jalani

Saturday, February 24, 2007


ok, i am pissed today with a friend.. since my darling joelis do read my blog whenever they get the chance, i have to refrain myself from using bad words here... :) the thing is, just because i went out with his friend, or should i say, i was the gf for a while, now he is sort of not wanting to hang out with me anymore... and he said something like, 'they say i am your part time lover'...errkkss.. like.. hello... the thing is, we have been always lepakking together... why now it become an issue??? i do not go out with his acquaintance anymore...not that it should make any difference.. but dduhhhh... i was sad with his statement... uurgghhh please laaa.. and later he said he was joking.. yeaa right, after he realised that i was sad the way he said it, he said it was a joke... hahahaha... so not funny. yea..yea.. it would be easier if i could mention names... but i cant.. arrghhh.... if i think so much about what other people say, i would be just staying home and not go out at all...ok...

and yeup... tonight is my 4th karaoke session in a week!!

Tiada Lagi - Amy Search :

Sia-sia sudah
Kita jalin cinta
Bila hati selalu berbeda

Sampai kapan lagi
Ku harus menahan
Rasa kecewa di dalam dada
Seandainya kita masih bersatu
Tak mungkinkan menyatu
Walau masih ada sisa cinta
Biarkan saja berakhir sampai
Di sini


Tiada lagi yang ku harapkan
Tiada lagi yang ku impikan
Biar aku sendiri tanpa diri mu
Tiada lagi kata cintaku

Takkan lagi ku bersama mu
Biar ku simpan semua
Kenangan ku bersamamu

Sampai kapan lagi
Ku harus menahan
Rasa kecewa di dalam dada
Seandainya kita masih bersatu
Tak mungkinkan menyatu
Walau masih ada sisa cinta
Biarkan saja berakhir sampai
Di sini

Friday, February 23, 2007

survey :)

1. Is:-
2. Got any plans:-
yes, send joey to school early in the morning
3. Dislikes about tomorrow:-
nothing to dislike

[F A V O R I T E]
1. Number:-
5, 7, 9
2. Color(s):-
3. Season:-
cant really choose.. I am in Malaysia…ok

[C U R R E N T L Y]
1. Missing someone:-
I guess so
2. Mood:-
blur + happy mood…ada kaa??
3. Hungry:-
nahhh…. Had mee hoon goreng already for lunch

[Q U E S T I O N S]
Q: first thing u did this morning?
A: err…look for what to wear to work?
Q: Last thing you ate:
A: mee hoon goreng
Q: Do you have anything bothering you?
A: yes.
Q: What's annoying you right now?
A: people who think they need to know every movements in my life
Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: qabil kushry qabil igam
Q: Do you believe in long distance relationships?
A: no!
Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now?
A: yes.. definitely
Q: Where is the last place you went?
A: hartamas for lunch
Q: Do you look like your mom or dad?
A: my dad
Q: Do you have any siblings?
A: yup!
Q: Do you smile often?
A: all the time even when I am down
Q: Do you think that a person is thinking of you?
A: i sure hope so..
Q: Choose to have (love, beauty, creativity)
A: love
Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: yes…but depends laaa
Q: Who's bed did you sleep in last night?
A: mine lerr
Q: What shirt are you wearing?
A: stripe (fav) green tshirt
Q: What were you doing at 9 last night?
A: dinner at Lott
Q: Do you have more guy friends or girl friends?
A: guys…kut
Q: When was the last time you cried?
A: last Friday night
Q: Do you get angry easily?
A: not anymore
Q: What was your last thought before you went to sleep last night?
A: hmmmmm
Q:Take any vitamins?
A: nope..
Q: What are you about to do now?
A: continue my work..
Q: What song are you listening to right now?
A: mencintaimu
Q: Would you rather be single or in a relationship?
A: relationship
Q: Do you ever check your phone waiting for someone to call?
A: used to...
Q: Rate life as of right now 1-10.
A: 5
Q: Would you say that most people who first meet you like you?
A: I guess so

cancer horoscope today

heh..heh..:D i like what it says about cancer today... :) had another round of karaoke yesterday after work with AS and AP...and had dinner later at Lott. but yesterday's kuey tiow ladna wasnt that good as always...

The Bottom Line
While your subconscious works through issues, distract yourself with fun friends.
In Detail
Listening to other people is a lot easier than listening to yourself right now -- there is a lot of internal chatter going on in your brain, and it might not be making a whole lot of sense to you. Your subconscious is working through issues and ideas that you might not be fully aware of. Things will come to the surface and start to make sense later, when it's time to act. So for now, try to distract yourself by getting with the people you love and keeping things light and fun.

Cool! :) have a good weekend...

Thursday, February 22, 2007

:) cinta dan kawan

thank You for answering to my prayers... :) and i am smiling again....
Satu hari CINTA & KAWAN berjalan dalam kampung...
Tiba-tiba CINTA terjatuh dalam telaga... Kenapa??
Kerana CINTA itu buta.. Lalu KAWAN pun ikut terjun dalam telaga... Kenapa?? Kerana...KAWAN akan buat apa sahaja demi CINTA!! Di dalam telaga CINTA hilang... Kenapa?? Kerana...CINTA itu halus, mudah hilang kalau tak dijaga, sukar dicari apatah lagi dalam telaga yang gelap... Sedangkan KAWAN masih lagi tercari-cari dimana CINTA & terus menunggu.. Kenapa?? Kerana...KAWAN itu sejati & akan kekal sebagai KAWAN yang setia...kan??

so, hargai lah KAWAN kita selagi kita terasa dia bererti...


got this in my inbox today...

Ianya adalah pemberian nikmat Allah kepada manusia yang mana pemberian itu tidak diredhaiNya. Inilah yang dinamakan istidraj. Rasullulah s.a.w. bersabda :"Apabila kamu melihat bahawa Allah Taala memberikan nikmat kepada hambanya yang selalu membuat maksiat (durhaka), ketahuilah bahawa orang itu telah diistidrajkan oleh Allah SWT." (Diriwayatkan oleh At-Tabrani, Ahmad dan Al-Baihaqi).

Tetapi, manusia yang durhaka dan sering berbuat maksiat yang terkeliru dengan pemikirannya merasakan bahawa nikmat yang telah datang kepadanya adalah kerana Allah berserta dan kasih dengan perbuatan maksiat mereka.Masih ada juga orang ragu-ragu, kerana kalau kita hendak dapat kebahagian di dunia dan akhirat kita mesti ikut jejak langkah Rasullulah saw dan berpegang teguh pada agama Islam.Tetapi bagaimana dengan ada orang yang sembahyang 5 waktu sehari semalam, bangun tengah malam bertahajjud, puasa bukan di bulan Ramadhan sahaja, bahkan Isnin, Khamis dan puasa sunat yang lain. Tapi, hidup mereka biasa sahaja. Ada yang susah juga. Kenapa? Dan bagaimana pula orang yang seumur hidup tak sembahyang, puasa pun tak pernah, rumahnya tersergam indah, kereta mewah menjalar, duit banyak,dia boleh hidup kaya dan mewah. Bila kita tanya, apa kamu tak takut mati? Katanya, alah, orang lain pun mati juga, kalau masuk neraka, ramai-ramai. Tak kisahlah! Sombongnya mereka, takburnya mereka.Rasullulah s.a.w. naik ke langit bertemu Allah pun tak sombong, Nabi Sulaiman, sebesar-besar pangkatnya sehinggakan semua makhluk di muka bumi tunduk di bawah perintahnya pun tak sombong! Secantik-cantik Nabi Yusof dan semerdu suara Nabi Daud, mereka tak sombong. Bila sampai masa dan ketikanya, mereka tunduk dan sujud menyembah Allah.

Manusia istidraj - Manusia yang lupa daratan. Walaupun berbuat maksiat, dia merasa Allah menyayanginya. Mereka memandang hina kepada orang yang beramal. "Dia tu siang malam ke masjid, basikal pun tak mampu beli, sedangkan aku ke kelab malam pun dengan kereta mewah. Tak payah beribadat pun, rezeki datang mencurah-curah. Kalau dia tu sikit ibadat tentu boleh kaya macam aku, katanya sombong."Sebenarnya, kadang-kadang Allah memberikan nikmat yang banyak dengan tujuan untuk menghancurkannya. Rasullulah s.a.w bersabda: "Apabila Allah menghendaki untuk membinasakan semut, Allah terbangkan semua itu dengan dua sayapnya" (Kitab Nasaibul æIbad) Anai-anai, jika tidak bersayap, maka dia akan duduk diam di bawah batu atau merayap di celah-celah daun, tetapi jika Allah hendak membinasakannya, Allah berikan dia sayap. Lalu, bila sudah bersayap, anai-anai pun menjadi kelkatu. Kelkatu, bila mendapat nikmat(sayap) , dia akan cuba melawan api. Begitu juga manusia, bila mendapat nikmat, cuba hendak melawan Allah swt.Buktinya, Firaun. Nikmatnya tak terkira, tidak pernah sakit, bersin pun tidak pernah kerana Allah berikannya nikmat kesihatan. Orang lain selalu sakit, tapi Firaun tidak, orang lain mati,namun dia masih belum mati-mati juga, sampai rasa angkuh dan besar diri lantas mengaku dirinya tuhan.Tapi dengan nikmat itulah Allah binasakan dia. Namrud, yang cuba membakar Nabi Ibrahim. Betapa besar pangkat Namrud? Dia begitu sombong dengan Allah, akhirnya menemui ajalnya hanya disebabkan seekor nyamuk masuk ke dalam lubang hidungnya.Tidak ada manusia hari ini sekaya Qarun. Anak kunci gudang hartanya sahaja kena dibawa oleh 40 ekor unta. Akhirnya dia ditenggelamkan bersama-sama hartanya sekali akibat terlalu takbur. Jadi kalau kita kaya, jangan sangka Allah sayang, Qarun lagi kaya, akhirnya binasa juga.Jadi, jika kita kaji dan fikir betul-betul, maka terjawablah segala keraguan yang mengganggu fikiran kita. Mengapa orang kafir kaya, dan orang yang berbuat maksiat hidup senang /mewah. Pemberian yang diberikan oleh Allah pada mereka bukanlah yang diredhaiNya. Rupa-rupanya ianya adalah bertujuan untuk menghancurkannya. Untuk apa hidup ini tanpa keredhaanNya?Tetapi jangan pula ada orang kaya beribadat, masuk masjid dengan kereta mewah kita katakan itu istidraj. Orang naik pangkat, istidraj.Orang-orang besar, istidraj. Jangan! Orang yang mengunakan nikmatnya untuk kebajikan untuk mengabdi kepada Allah bukan istidraj. Dan jangan pula kita tidak mahu kekayaan. Kalau hendak selamat, hidup kita mesti ada pegangan. Bukan kaya yang kita cari, juga bukan miskin yang kita cari. Tujuan hidup kita adalah mencari keredaan Allah. Bagaimana cara untuk menentukan nikmat yang diredhai Allah?

Seseorang itu dapat menyedari hakikat yang sebenarnya tentang nikmat yang diterimanya itu ialah apabila dia bersyukur nikmatnya. Dia akan mengunakan pemberian ke jalan kebaikan dan sentiasa redha dan ikhlas mengabdikan diri kepada Allah.Maka segala limpah kurnia yang diperolehi itu adalah nikmat pemberian yang diredhai Allah. Bila tujuan hidup kita untuk mencari keredhaan Allah, niscaya selamatlah kita di dunia dan akhirat.Wallahualam.

"Dari Abdullah bin 'Amr R. A, Rasulullah S. A. W bersabda: " Sampaikanlah pesanku biarpun satu ayat.."


heh..heh... drove to the office today... calmly, listening to the love songs compilation :P naahhhh not in the jiwang mood... but more of being in control...ahaks...yeaa right.. and i am giggling now... reached the office.. clear up some things on my desk... and as my breakfast... checkin my blog.. gosh...for the past postings i was so full of frustration, anger.. and what not.. hmmmmm... wokay... at least i am feeling a bit better now... do i really? ... NOT... but...hey.. ok la tuh... one step at a time kan.. ;) anyway, AS, AP thank you for the karaoke session yesterday... 2 hours is too short... will do that again...very soon!

'let go of that past anger - it only makes u look older'

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

addiction returned...:O

err... addicted to it... and now its back.. :D karaoke... wuuhhuuu...

Bertakhta dihati - farahdhiya

Dihempas ombak
Terdampar buih
Menanti waktu pulang ke laut
Begitu rindu
Di pisah takdir
Meniti saat bersulam cinta

Ke dalam mataku
Sinarnya menyala
Ke dalam mataku
Cintamu bertahta
Sebelum ku kenal
Dirimu siapa
Aku tak kenali
Apa itu cinta
Setelah ku kenal
Dirimu sebenar
Kau cinta sejati
Kusandarkan jiwa

Huuuu hhuuuu

Digilis angin
Tercarik awan
Menanti detik sebelum hujan
Begitu sendu
Diguris resah
Meniti hari bersulam tangis

Ke dalam mataku
Sinarnya menyala
Ke dalam mataku
Cintamu bertahta (di hati)

Takkan berganjak pendirian ku ini selagi
kita tak kembali bersatu selamanya
Takkan berubah perasaan ini terhadapmu

Biar digugat
Biar dicabar
Biar dihalang

Sebelum ku kenal
Dirimu siapa
Aku tak kenali
Apa itu cinta
Setelah ku kenal
Dirimu sebenar
Kau cinta sejati
Kusandarkan jiwa

Kau cinta sejati
Kusandarkan jiwa

cinta - amy mastura

catchy song that angelina emailed to us... :)

Amy Mastura - Cinta

Jika ditanya tentang cinta
Macam-macam lah jawapannya
Ada cinta yang bawa ceria
Ada cinta yang sanggup merana

Sanggup berkorban apa saja
Hilang kawan hilang keluarga
Lebih baik cinta pada yang Esa
Hidup ini penuh pancaroba

Kiri kanan masalah saja
Janganlah derita kerna cinta
Kerana cinta bahagia
Kalau benar cinta itu buta
Siapa kan jadi mangsanya
Kalau cinta itu cinta setia
Nangis ketawa sama hahaha

Kalau kita boleh beli cinta
Berapa pula harganya
Alangkah indah kita dicinta
Kerana hidup kita lebih bahagia...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

cobalah untuk setia

i played badminton this morning!! yeup... hahahaha..after so long... suddenly this morning i get the chance to play badminton with lisa. :D it was hot since we played at around 1030am. played until 1100am. oklahhh... the slippers that i wore tercabut! ahakss... well anyway... that was this morning's activity. now.... listen...ssshhhh... ;) ... this song was one of the songs selected yesterday during the karaoke session.... not been really studyin the lyrics.. but.. ok lah :) hey buddy.. this is for you

Apalah maumu kasih
Kau pilih diriku didalam hidupmu
Nyatanya kulihat kini
Tak bisa kau coba untuk setia
Sudah cukuplah sudah
Ku memberikan waktu
Kau selalu tak bisa
Mencoba untuk setia
Yang selalu kuinginkan
Yang selalu kunanti
Kau coba untuk mengerti
Apalah arti mencinta
Dan harus kau sadari
Bila ingin bersamaku
Jangan coba kau ingkari
Cobalah untuk setia
Masihkah aku di inginkan
Masihkah aku di dambakan
Masih ada waktu untukmu
Bersamamu akankah kujalani hidup

song: Cobalah untuk setia ~ Kris Dayanti

actually just came back from massage about 2 hours ago... yea.. yeahh.. yeah... i have been blogging a lot lately... dont ask me why. just feel like 'talkin'... so biaq pi... :D nak, baca...tak nak baca sudah... :P

quality time with joelis :)

i think this is the first school holiday that we did not go anywhere...:D anywhere, means out of KL..hehehe..:D but, we still went out sightseeing..;) got a call from my dear elder sister asking if we wanna go and visit skybridge KLCC. hmmmm best gak... but my eyes were swollen that day... coz..hmmmm naper ye... well anyway, got to get up... or i will end up lying in bed feeling bluurrgghhh... so, we had breakfast at home, and left the house around 1015am to make sure we can reach KLCC by 1030am. here are some pictures from the bridge. more in the album.

had a BBQ on saturday for tea at my sister's place in USJ. i had 1.5 piece of chicken...some prawns...and believe it or not, when there were many people still enjoying their food, i quitely went into my sister's guest's room and took a nap...again... been sleeping a lot.. especially when there are so much things in my head. slept till maghrib..and my sister woke me up coz she wanted to go home already. got home, wash up... took my medication and went back to sleep. up quite late. watched lisa practising her malay traditional dance with her friend while joey being trained to do the silat. cute! :D later my dad asked us to get ready to go to his friend's house for okay la... daripada nothing to do. after that we were free... hemmm macam boring je kan... up early, but still golek2 in bed..macam malas je nak bangkit..:D but then my mom entered the room and asked, "kata nak gi tengok wayang?" oh yeaa.... so we quickly took sisters and i... while lisa check on the website for the showtime. i wanted to bring my mom to watch qabil kushry qabil gam...hans isaac.. sedih giler cerita tu okay...tapi mesti pergi :) joey wanted to watch we did that in the morning at KLCC... the toughest part was to decide where to have lunch... hmmm.... decided to bring them to Tupai2...tapi alamak....tutup! :( apa lagi... tukar venue... stopped by Istana Negara... can you believe this... kira okay la... Buckingham Palace, London dah sampai...dah ambik gambar, but Istana Negara...baru pergi first time... hemmm... something yg patut dibanggakan!! and took a picture of awek chun!! ahakss.. had lunch later at Burger King Hartamas. went home, sent everyone... and later went out again only with my mom, younger sister and joey to Tesco for groceries shopping, and proceed to Jusco to get some other things :D. then rest kejap...

and after maghrib went to BSC for dinner with my 'sisters' from school including Yan who came back from Perth for a short break...henskem jugak macam dolu... :P tapi masih gagal sebab tak bawak partner untuk aku...ahakkkksss... there were 7 of us plus hubby and partner. :) after that followed by karaoke session..with AS joining us later :) by 1230am, my eyes are getting sleepy. AS was hungry, escorted me home and before that we had teh tarik session... dah lama tak borak. by 145am my youngest sister called and asked what time i am coming home..alamak... kena la balik...:D hehehe... and now...235am still here writing my blog.:) had a great karaoke session...walaupun ramai..:) looking forward to do that again...:)

Sunday, February 18, 2007

john tucker must die...

received an email from AB on the same day i sent the sms to PC to breakup with him. she was being nice and somehow it strucks my mind that my PC whom i adore once, is a good player in his stupid little game. it was the same pattern that he has done with his previous so-called relationships. he may think that i dont know anything, but i do know some things...just that i needed to hear it from him, himself one day. somehow or rather, this may flatter him but this is just me being me.. i treasure my friends... and i keep them.. it is sad that what PC has done, somehow has scared our friendship. he is a good actor too. but its okay... he can be the best actor that he wants, but for how long? how long can he lie to himself? i believed him eventhough my instinct says that he was untruthful. i tried to console myself eventhough i felt that it was too good to be true...he can run as far as he wants to, but sooner or later, he will need to stop somewhere. :) he taught me of how a 'real man' should act in a relationship, but he failed to prove it to me. he failed to be a man when things doesnt go his way... yeup...he is full of S%$#. all the girls who contacted me after the breakup said that i should be glad that it is over soon.. and not later when it is already too late.. what can that mean?

thank you PC for teaching me to be patience in a relationship.
thank you for letting me see that all those sweet talks are just a bunch of lies.
thank you for being very nice to my precious joelis and later you break their heart like it is none of your business.
thank you for showing them that there is such thing as false hope.

my dear PC, i should be hating you right now after what you have done. but you know what...? things happened for a reason.. :) although you said once that maybe things happened in my life so that i can meet might be not the right person for i am too nice for you to play around with. whatever it is, i still miss you as a friend... and as i have told you earlier in the sms... i am all ears for you man... that still doesnt change. i will not say, all the best in your search this time, as i, or maybe, 'we', do not want you to continue hurting other women's heart... dont say things if you do not mean it...especially when its 'love'.... say it when you really understand what love means...

Friday, February 16, 2007

aku ada karena kau ada :)

Artist: Radja
Album: unknown
Song: Aku Ada Karena Kau Ada

Cinta adalah anugerah yg Kuasa
Yang bila terasa betapa indahnya
Sungguh lemah diriku
Tak berarti hidupku
Bila tak ada dirimu
Andai ku bisa
Akan ku balas
Semua yang pernah engkau berikan
Terima kasih dariku
Atas ketulusanmu
Menyayangi diriku

Chorus 2x:

Aku ada karena kau pun ada
Dengan cinta
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Menyayangi diriku

Chorus 3x

Thank you for the song BM.... you've made my day... :) no worries... i survived before with an abusive guy... i can survive this time... he's a player...
see that smile on my face??? *wink* i will be okay ;)
have a good weekend... everyone...

he is a total jerk! okay, now i am upset... not because it doesnt work between us... i really hate it when it hits my joelis!!! since there is no explanation.. this is what he portrays about himself. he likes the challenge of pursuing women... thats what he is.. just that yes thats what he does. he will pursue all the way for the woman and when he is in the relationship, he chickened out... he is just too afraid of commitment. he may have all the charm.. but... all goes down the drain especially when he hurts my kids so bad!!! i shouldnt have accepted him in the beginning... yes, i do have regrets now.. lisa was the 1st person that i told.. and later joey got to know.. but you know what... all i can tell my kids is, take this as a lesson... do not hurt other people by giving them false hope... and joey.. jangan main2kan perasaan orang lain...coz u will get hurt one day... he made me believe that he can give me the happiness... i just wish i know why... or maybe he will just use the same excuse...'its not you...its just me' *sigh*

Friday, February 9, 2007

love is in the air!

ye ke tak boleh celebrate valentines? kalau sajer2 suka2 join the crowd tak boleh jugak ke? lots of emails that have been passed around when valentines is near. remembered during school time... its the most important day to remember... although i came from all girls school, we still celebrate.. :) those with boyfriends from different schools in KL, will actually received apples with chocolate on top.. :) those were the days... i had 2 apples with chocolates... and roses...OMG, from RM1.00 per stalk...became RM8.00 per joke... hmmm those were the days... and know what, few weeks ago, i thot i would be able to celebrate valentines again. but i guess, i dont know anymore. it has been getting vague lately. i have been listening to lots of theories that really brings me down. what else can i do... i just hope that its worth waiting for... and if my heart were to be broken, i'd take it as i have gone through a lot and i am sure i can handle this, with a smile :) and baby, if you still read my blog, this is for you. and i am sorry if this is too jiwang for you but this is who i am....expressive of my feelings towards the person that i love.

baby, my dear prince charming, you have touched my heart with your charm. i dont know what went wrong, but i just want you to know that this comes from the bottom of my heart. i really miss having you around. i guess we were closer when we were friends than now, when we have become a couple. ever since you stopped sending me sms, i became lost. i cant stop my mind from making the worst assumptions. all i needed was a good explanation. my mind has never stopped thinking about you. i think of you when i wake up every morning, when i drive to work while listening to the songs that you compiled for me in the CD and when i see your signature on the CD..'with love'... gosshhh this is a dejavu man!! i have been here... shoot! know what, i am beginning to think that you might have changed your mind about us, and i feel i am not in the position to say any further. i know where i stand, as a person, but i no longer know where i stand in your life. all i have now are your words... that makes me believe that everything will be okay. that was then... now? i dont know... i am lost... i dont feel it anymore from you. everytime when i feel sad, happy, or just plain tired of something, i feel like smsing you, but when you started to treat me cold, i dont know what is right for me to do.
i miss the times when we used to spend time just talking about whatever at the gerai... restaurant etc..
and i miss your saying, 'hope to see you soon'...
i remembered the first time that you said, 'i love you'
i miss the times when you hold me close to you and not let go
i miss the times when you gave me the assurance about us
i miss the times when i am convinced that what you feel for me is real
i miss the times when you'd just put your head on my shoulder and being affectionate
i miss laughing with you
i miss dancing with you baby, or just laughing and looking at the 80s dance moves...
i miss your nite nite wishes that i dont get that often..hehehe..:D but when i do get it, it means a lot to me
i miss it when you used to say...'there you go' and it'll make me smile..with hope
i miss the person who calms me down when i start to think too much
i am sorry if this embarrase you
you showed me the light when i almost have lost faith in being in love with the right person
there are a lot more that i miss about you but just cant put everything
i want to be able to reach out to you again

now, all that i can think of are, do we still share the same feelings? do you think of me when i think of you? it hurts baby.... really hurts.. if anyone were to hurt me this much, i never imagine that it would be from you. coz, i thought we have cleared things earlier... this is definitely not the game that i want to play... i am not upset with you, i dont have the right to.. feeling is something that no one can force... i thot i would be able to celebrate valentines with the person i love, but from the look of it, i shouldnt put on any hope...although its only hope that i have..

happy valentines day baby...with all my love... and as i am signing off... my mind is still on you ;-)

jennifer, may you have a pleasant holiday on valentines day :) i am gonna miss you siol... LOL
angelina, may your love with hubby stays forever despite the distance
james, may your dream come true to be with the love of your life

Thursday, February 8, 2007

joey... admitted

okay, now lets get into details... lisa discharged on tuesday morning... and joey admitted tuesday evening... which means... i have been sleeping at the hospital with my kids for 7 continous nites... cool tak? hemmm... joey had the same problem as his sister. cuma since he just recovered from chicken pox, his immune system is not that strong.. his temp went up to 39.9 on the day he was admitted. not good news for him as he needs to share a room with another patient. no, i was not okay...but we've no choice as all the single bedded rooms are full. and the 1st nite was hell... well...idak la sgt... but still... i had to endure with a person's snoring! kuat giler okay... eh no...bukan sorang, they both snored... they must be really tired... but.. i am too.. i cant sleep..heh..heh.. started to sms james, jennifer and SA. all 4 of us ended up chatting till 2am.. :)

2nd day at the hospital for joey...these cheered him up.. ;) or... one of the picts, it also cheered me up... in a way? :) in a way it did... but... *sigh* ahhh tak per lah...biar la dulu.. ;-) alamakkk got to go... will update more later kay... :)

joke for the day

taking a moment out of sadness...still sleeping at the hospital with joey this time...been there for 2 nites already, another 3 more nites to go... dont wish to update in details now...just wanna relax sekejap......and this made me smile...:)

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said,
Put in some more butter!
Oh my GOD!You're cooking too many at once.TOO MANY!
Turn them!TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter.Oh my GOD!
WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK!Careful .
You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking!Never!
Turn them!Hurry up!Are you CRAZY?Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them.
You know you always forget to salt them.
Use the salt.USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him."What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."


Monday, February 5, 2007

still here

845pm, day 4:
still here at gleneagles. waiting for dear lisa to be discharged tomorrow after her last dose of antibiotic. well, that is the good news! :) the bad news is, as i am here typing this, joey is at the clinic with my mom and my younger sister :( now he is having fever, temperature -> 39, complained had a headache and just vomitted. so, i told my sister to take him to the clinic first and see what the doctor says, or straight away bring him here, to gleneagles. *sigh* now i am waiting patiently for my sister's phone call... for the verdict.. or... ergghh... i'd rather call her and ask...!

905pm, just spoke to my mom, joey's tummy masuk angin... given medicine for the tummy and fever. just spoke to joey and told him that he's a strong boy and to get well soon. :) demam rindu agaknya... i miss him too especially hugging him at nite. :) hmmm.... i will see him tomorrow morning when my sister brings him to fetch lisa from the hospital. i hope he will be okay by tomorrow.

me signing off for tonite... ;)

Sunday, February 4, 2007

long weekend

how to start? hmmm.. right now i am typing this from lisa's room, gleneagles hospital. ;) lisa was admitted on friday morning. i myself was on MC due to my bad migraine. been thinking a lot... thinking of things that i shouldnt be thinking. well, i was given wayyyy too much space to do the unnecessary thinking... thanks a lot! :P was so glad that thursday was a public holiday. i totally forgot about it...arranged for a meeting with PCD in the evening around 630pm. got an email from EJ on wednesday and asked for 'sisters' get together..i ok jer.. since did not make any plans pun. yeaa..yeaa.. i am writing all jumbled up... so pandai2 la nak baca.. kay ;)

1st feb 2007: pasar borong here i come... wanted to lepak longer in bed.. but my younger sister woke me up.. told me that my mom wants someone to drive her to pasar borong serdang. makkk aii... jauh tuh..tapi tak pe laa... i quickly got up.. showered, and went downstairs.. looked for breakfast.. alahai...cekodok jer... :( hmmm cekodok pun cekodok laaa... my mom asked, "ko nak gi mana dah siap ni?" and i answered back, "laa...kata nak gi pasar..." and i saw that smile on her face..though she tried not to.. heh..heh.. sure dia ingat i nak merambu. ahakss... I told her that I am free to drive her till around noon coz I might bring fwd my mtg with PCD to 2pm so that I can have extra time to lepak later with EJ, CM and SS. So…pasar borong here I come lahh..kan.. guess what, my mom doesn’t know the exact way how to get there! I was like…hmmm..ok… we left home around 930am… managed to get to the pasar borong at 1100am! :D tapi best la… when I got there, baru teringat that I have been there, once :D. the fish sumer fresh and cheaper. I ikut je la my parents.. tarik our marketing basket. My mom did all the buyings. Jadi jakun kejap at the pasar…having a good time taking pictures of the vegetables and fish and prawn… perghh.. lapar… dah tengahari.. on the way home, we stopped at the gerai since my mom told the maid not to cook.

Ok next… the meeting with PCD went well.. alhamdulillah.. I got the job in march!!! Yess… and I am making the wedding a memorable one.. and ensure that their guests will be satisfied with the entertainment. Haven’t been doin this for quite some time.. but hey… I have my skills and creativity ;) oopss.. kejap..nurse is taking lisa’s temp… ‘ok..tak de demam..’ cool! Ok sambung balik… yeup gotta make myself busy for a while.. just need to distract my head from thinking of someone right now. It just hurts too much… and I still don’t understand. Urrgghhhh..

Wokay… time was already 330pm. done with meeting, drove out of the apartment, called my joelis and told them to be ready once I get home. Reached home around 350pm, picked up joelis and drove to EJ’s house.. dekat je… takes about 5 minutes drive. we stopped by the gerai to buy some keropok lekor. lisa was already not well but she still wanted to join us.. ye laa.. I cant be leaving her at home… kesian.. and I dont separate lisa and joey..;) hey… it’s the 3 of us…power of 3…ahakss.. sampai umah EJ, CM and SS tak sampai lagi. So I lepak… lapar balik… ate mee hoon goreng.. while waiting for CM and SS. And sambung with caramel..hmmm yummy…. Adding up extra kgs… shoot! But aahhh… I am enjoying my food.. so makan je laa… muahahaa… yey..CM and SS are here… we ate again… and decided to lepak in EJ’s garden coz some of us want to halau nyamuk.. ;-) while Joelis kept princess maira, EJ’s daughter, companied upstairs. Heh..heh… we had our little talk…gossips… nahhh not gossips… we talked about us.. catching up with each other… and of course, time seems to be jealous of us. Best giler… borak.. planned for our next trip… oh yes, before the trip… BBQ!! Yuhuuu…!! Alamak..lisa got restless… her face was all red… so I decided that we should leave… that was just before 7pm. Stopped by at the clinic to take some fever medicine for her since she finished hers in the morning. But later at nite, her temp went too hi… from 38 to 39.1.. hmm ni tak boleh jadi. I slept late too, and got up really early coz lisa was getting too hot.

2nd feb 2007: Friday morning..not enuf sleep… I got a bad migraine.. and started to feel sick too. We both went to the clinic. I got MC for myself and Lisa had to be referred to Gleneagles. Terus kena admit..suspect dengue. And since she had a case before this, her doct does not want to take the risk. She asked if I have told unc WN that she is admitted and I said.. “nahhh tak payah lah…” and she gave me the look.. “why not?’ and I said, “ sajer.. malas..” but then, after talking to AS, I decided just to sms him and see what happen next. Hmmm surprisingly he responded to that sms. And he called lisa after that. I am more and more confused now… I just need a better explanation… that’s all.. why?? This is so unfair…:-* at times it makes me think if this is how its gonna be, we could have remain just friends… at least it wont hurt me that much if he were to avoid/ignore me… :( see.. I tried not to talk abt him… but I cant..:( arrgghhh…

3rd feb 2007: james came over to the hospital last nite and pass me the laptop. Thot of doin some work while taking care of lisa. I have a review on Monday and I didn’t think that I would be on MC on Friday… shoot! But how aahhh… tido pun tak cukup. Lisa din get proper sleep… she got up about every hour and so did i… hemm that’s it laa.. thot she can be discharge today but her cough is getting worse. My mom, adude and joey came in the afternoon with fresh clothes for us. Had lunch here with us in the hospital room. :) I managed to get a short nap before they arrived. Ok la dapat rest kejap, so rasa macam malas nak drive rest at home. Joey as usual, pot pet pot pet none stop.. kesian dia, this is the 2nd nite that I don’t get to hug him :(. Break jap… nak tengok Hannah Montana with lisa ;) hmmm terlelap pulak… alamak.. doctor datang… she has got to get an xray, hemmm she might be getting bronchitis. Stop here first… continue later.

800pm: lisa cried… she had chest pain… hmmm.. nurses came in and gave her medicine and she had to be on drips again. She was supposed to go for x-ray but it seems that the dept was busy? Hmmm… and right after lisa cried, the nurses decided to bring the x-ray machine to the room instead. Cute je… din know they have x-ray machine for kids..heh..heh.. with giraffe body lagi…:) after lisa has calmed down, my mom, adude and joey went home… lisa slept at around 945pm. Watched the depressing cerekerama.. hahaha.. nak buat camner, started to watch, kena la continue sampai habis, while smsing AA… ordered something from Spore and AS who’s lepaking with friends in bangsar… there goes my weekend… lepaking here, watching the sky and stars from the hospital’s room window…hehehe…cool huh…

1030pm: checked on lisa’s temperature… eh.. kenapa macam panas je ehh…? Called the nurse, hmmmm naik balik temperature dia. Nurse came in and gave her the fever medicine, I became bengang. Why do they have to wait till her temp rise to give the medicine, shouldn’t they just continue until her fever really settled? Told the nurse to check on lisa’s temperature every 2 hours. I couldn’t sleep till 100am.. feelin so tired but felt like something is missin… apa ye? Hmmmm… :( more pictures..

* PC, you are in my thoughts... :(