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Walk Away

How can I start to say ?
The pain I feel this very day
Got your letter in the mail
you wrote that our love has failed
Said you needed space to see
the person that you're meant to be
And it means excluding me
then maybe you're got to be free

All you said was how
I'm never there when you need me around
I never see the sorrow you feel
So baby now I'm telling you

You can walk away
I won't say a single word to make you stay
No I won't cry, won't ask the reason why
Why you ever said goodbye
But baby you will never know
How much I really love you so
It won't be easy lettin' go
I'll lead my life
But you won't see the tears I shed inside

Walk around this house
So confused I feel so lost
Picturing the memories of how things used to be
Sometimes I wondered why, I let you love me
You made me cry
How could the sweetest soul turn around
And act this cold

If all you need was someone to be here
I was there for you
I'll be the one that you need
Don't walk away
Please stay

Artist: Da…

bingkisan doa...

Ya Allah ya Tuhanku...sekiranya aku lalai dalam tanggungjawabku, aku memohon ampun dan maaf.
Ya Allah ya Tuhanku, sekiranya aku lupa untuk bersyukur, ketahui lah bahawasanya, aku lah hambaMu yang amat bersyukur dengan pemberianMu.
Dengan secepat kilat Kau kurniakan pada aku dan sepantas angin ia pergi, aku masih bersyukur kerana sekelumit itu ia telah mendatangkan kebahagiaan untuk diri hambaMu ini. Sekiranya ini adalah satu lagi ujian dariMu untuk ku, Ya Allah ya Tuhanku... sesungguhnya, akan ku hadapi walau hanya Kau yang tahu betapa beratnya hati ini untuk menempuhnya lagi... dan aku masih berdoa...

Ya Allah...
Seandainya telah engkau catatkan....
Dia milikku tercipta buatku....
Satukanlah hatinya dengan hatiku...
Titipkanlah kebahagian antara kami...Agar kemesraan itu abadi...
Dan ya Allah... ya tuhanku yang maha mengasihi....
Seiringkanlah kami melayari hidup ini ....
Ke tepian yang sejahtera dan abadi...

Tetapi ya Allah....
Seandainya telah engkau takdirkan...Dia bukan milikku....
Bawalah i…

chill out session

10.50pm: just got back from damas… went straight to the kitchen.. my auntie was at the kitchen chatting with my younger sister while my mom watching tv downstairs. joelis are asleep.. went to my mom’s room..kissed both of them… dah tido while watching tv rupanya.
had another good session with CM and SS. Shared a lot of funny stories..had a good time laughing at myself and acting silly. as usual kena kutuk kow2 by both of them… nahh.. not from SS…she will just smile there lookin… BUT, CM is having a great time kutukking me..that’s for sure! I needed that… just need them to make me realized that I have changed. I have become someone who is just not me.. why? well, before I even got the answer.. they got the answer for me.. I was too afraid.. I was too afraid of getting hurt.. and I was being too careful that I forgot who I am… who I was… where is the ‘jawe’ whom they know..?? the cool person… ‘jawe’ who rocks… ‘jawe’ has become a ‘chick’…. arrghhh… hated that… kutuk siol… okay.. okay… I …

feelin like %$#@

have not been feelin like this for quite some time.. and when i thot all will be okay...obviously not.. why does it have to be this way...? why is it happening to me? why do i have to face all this ^%$#?? i dont need this now... diverting my thots elsewhere now. *taking a deep breath* it better be nothing.. james...jennifer...angelina... mayday!! ~ end :P
had another conversation with my little joey about 2 nites ago. :) before we both go to sleep... lisa still sleeps with my mom... still afraid of joey's chicken pox... hahaha:D joey: maaa.
me: yes darling.. :)
joey: kalau dia dah warna hitam, is it good or bad? (he was referring to his chicken pox's scar)
me: well, that means, it is drying up..
joey: ye laa... is it good or bad?
me: okay..macam nie laa... kalau joey tak kopek...tak de scar... good la
joey: tapi kelly kopek kan... kat muka dia..
me: yeup... nanti jadik macam mama punya...ada scar... yang kat muka jangan usik.. kat tempat lain ok lagi..
joey: kat muka tak boleh ada scar?
cindy's back!!! yes.... after her disappearance act for more than 10 hours! okay.. unc WN, please be informed..:D *phew*... lega giler... last nite after the search party that we did...still cant seem to find her anywhere.. so berserah je la... i told lisa to keep the cage door open and leave some fresh food. after dinner, all of us went upstairs to watch tv...and fooling around.. joey became 'joey in the box..'..and lisa too!and suddenly we heard my dad shouting from the hall.... "cepat!! cindy dah balik...!!!" and 3 of us raced downstairs... :D and as promised... here are better pictures of cindy... :)

ribbitt....

now and then...

3 Years Ago...

How old were you?
: 32

Where did you go to school?
: workin oredi laaa… where got school..

Where did you work?
: WZ

Where did you live?
: TK

Where did you hang out?
: I don’t hang out…

How was your hair style?
: shoulder length…I think

Did you wear glasses?
: no

Who was your best friend?
: always been charmene & ally

Who was your regular-person crush?
: 3 years back? Hehehe …james bond..

What car did you drive?
: Hyundai coupe

What was your worst fear?
: to be alone

Had you smoked yet?
: 3 years back? I don’t really..

Had you been arrested?
: never...

Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter?
: married

LETS SEE WHAT YOU ARE NOW !!!!!

January 2007...

How old are you?
: 34+ ..can aaa..?? hehehe :D

Where do you go to school?
: mander school dey…

Where do you work?
: WZ

where do u live?
: same place

Where do you hang out?
: lotus.. craven.. devi’s bangsar ..plaza damas

Do you wear glasses?
: no

Who are your best friends?
: diff people on case to case basis…hehehe :D

Who is your crush?
: none

What car do you drive now?
: …

errkkss...

1. Words going on in your head?
+ doesn’t he misses me?

2. Where were you from?
+ born n raised in Kuala Lumpur..

3. What is the last thing you downloaded?
+ don’t remember

4. What is the time now?
+ 3.46 pm

5.What did you do for the last half an hour?
+ looking at templates that I need to choose from

6. Have you ever been in a school play?
+ yup..

7. How many kids do you want?
+ 4

8. Type of d person you DISLIKE most?
+ I dunno… cakap tak serupa bikin people

9. What types of music?
+ anything that I can dance to

10. Are you drunk?
+ No

11. do u like roller coasters?
+ not anymore...

12. Ever prank call anyone b4?
+ yup! 20 years ago

13. describe urself in 3 words?
+ think too much

14. Would you go indoor with outdoor?
+ doesn’t matter to me

15. Are you shy?
+ depends…

16. Do you think you're popular?
+ errr… huh?

17. What's the size of your bed?
+ queen

20. Best movie you've watched in the past.
+ stealth

22. Chips or popcorn?
+ chips

23. Have you ever broken anyone's heart?
+ i think so...

24. Have you ski…

horoscope...22nd jan 2007

got this in my email today...

'emotionally you may feel tense - perhaps because someone close to you is simply disregarding the way you feel. you are feeling as if this person is much more concerned with themselves and their own issues, and not at all concerned about you. meanwhile, your sensitive, caring heart is well aware of everyone else, and you take great care to support others and be thoughtful of them and all of their affairs. it is time to rearrange your priorities - first care about yourself, then others'

2+1=3...:)

joelis asked for a hamster for so long. i ignored their request :).... bukan apa... we travel quite frequent.. kalau ada pet.. nanti gi travel pun tak tenang.. enough la my dad with his ayamsss... and plus.. siapa nak jaga, bersihkan, spend on food. bla..bla..blaa.. tapi akhirnya... after a few persuasions and assurance akhirnya.. and also ganging up with they're unc WN... i jugak tewas. they called her 'cindy'.. 2 days ago, my sister buat gempak... sent me an sms 'i think cindy is dying!' alamaks... see..i jugak panic... cannot la like this..dah start to be attached. it's fun watching her running up and down her cage. :) playing with the apa tu...yg wheels tu... smsed unc WN the same message... biasa la org pompuan..kalau panic tak leh nak pikir straight... i was actually on the way to my lawyer's office masa tu... mana nak carik jalan ke lawyer's ofc.. mana nak sms... mana nak pikir.. unc WN asked me to call the pet shop where we bought 'cindy'…

memories... sweet :)

din wanna write too much abt PC and i... nanti org baca bosan... but.... ahhh... my blog...suka hati i laa... hahaha... well anyway... i was cleaning up my inbox at frenster yesterday and i found these.. it made me smile....again... and again.... hehehe :D discussed about it with PC just now... and it's ok with him if i wanna put it up here.. nothing has been changed, except the email add.. ;-) read thru...

From: Him
Date: Wednesday, 15 June , 2005 5:15 PM
Subject: Hello you...
Message: Nice profile... ;-)

From: Him
Date: Thursday, 16 June, 2005 12:53 AM
Subject: Re: Hello you...
Message: JG! Is that you....??? JG from XXXX! I remembered you... not sure if you remembered me... PC- from XX...

Didn't look at your photos before... but suddenly it oocured to me that I know this person!

Hope you're well. How's thigns with you these days anyway?

Anyway drop me a line sometime.

xxxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com

To: Him
Date: Thursday, 16 June, 2005 10:33 AM
Subject: Re: Hello you...
Message: hahahaha.…

10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship ~ interesting article

what do girls talk about when they meet? what do i talk about, with my gfs when we meet.. heh..heh.. currently, the hot topic will be about relationships. :) had a short chat before i went off yesterday... i was feeling bluechh yesterday maybe due to lack of sleep..bla..bla.. the usual stuff which i do not have to mention here.. coz...boringgggg!! well, anyway, found this interesting article. yeup.. people grow up learning thru their previous relationship(s).. and they wanna make it better.. and so do i. :) and i kind of like what i learn about myself when i read this article. and jennifer has her own thots as well. and i am still learning the different way of being in a relationship... i've to agree, its tough for me at least, but in the process of accepting... well, i can be cranky at times..which i cannot help it..hahaha :D.. please bear with me.. :(
10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship ~ By Dr. Margaret Paul
Is your relationship healthy? Take a few minutes to read through this art…

ora iso turu

apakah motif gambar giraffe ini sebenarnya??? hahaha tak de pa per...saja.. :P ahak..ahak...

its 330am, wednesday morning. keep on either getting up the same time for the past few days, or cant sleep till late. joey asked me as I was driving home yesterday if I was going to be doing my work in the middle of the nite like the nite before. and I said, ‘yes, if I wake up and could not sleep’. maybe I should put a disclaimer before I continue writing this today. I was told to take note of my thots and that’s what I am doing right now. this wont be in aturan…. I will just blurt it out… no I am not trying to drop hints on anyone, but just a matter of putting my thots on paper. kejap…I am trying to remember my dream.. just before I got up… ahhh… cant remember details. oh yes, joey is down with chicken pox.. :) kesian dia.. and he was chasing lisa all over the house today just to scare lisa. hihihihihi..:D my nieces and nephew had it 2 weeks ago. just hope that joey will recover on time for hi…

the lunch kakis...

ehh madam kwan lahhh!!! hehehe that was the reaction from most of us.. the lunch kakis... hahaha.. when we saw madam kwan in bangsar right after our lunch. it was supposed to be a coming back lunch for our dear LA after her maternity leave... but... last minute, her boss requested for LA to join her for lunch... :-( place is already booked... so hendak tak hendak...proceed je laaa... so from 11 of us, jadi 9 jer.. coz LA and AM had to join the boss... so..here the picts..








we also had the year end dinner at the curve last month... ha..that one was complete!! 12 of us... including GQ who left the company.. :) more picts here..

..bits and pieces..

thot #1: lately i started to feel that my joelis are growing up so fast. just had a birthday party for my little joey..who is not little anymore...check out here for pictures...part I :) *sigh* but... manja...still the same :) he still likes to give me goose-bumps when he kisses me on my neck... "i am sucking your blood!" he says.. :D and most of the time lisa will be watching her lil brother being naughty. both of them very playful.. oh yes... PC got them 'cindy'... aahhh new 'baby sister' LOL... i was quite worried coz not sure if they are capable of the new responsibility... well anyway... lisa called me during my meeting yesterday and i heard joey shouting later.."ma... cindy is out!!" "cindy... come back... come here cindy..." and now...cindy likes to sleep...after her short escape :D i hope she's okay.. ahhh and that reminds me that i have to clean up her bedding after work today.

thot #2: stay out from those who brings negative …

short trip to Sg Buloh

was at CM's house yesterday. beautiful house... nice garden :) cosy... met, 'khalil' hemmm hensem.. shiny.. :) met 'leya', 'zainal' and 'molly'... or was it 'polly'? remembered few years back when i merajuk, ran to Australia and stayed at CM's house... she left me in her home with 'zainal' sleeping next to me... :) baik jer.. the last time i met CM was at the dinner at GitaBayu. had a good chat. sampai lupa.. dah lewat. had dinner at the club house.. chat again.. it started to rain. we both walked back to her house and continue talking... did not cover everything, but yea... a bit here and there. some things made me wonder... wish could write it here... but.. *sigh* CM knows how i feel...vice versa. just wished it din happened.. but it did.. had to leave by 11pm... not because i want to... but i was getting sleepy.. and lisa called just before 1030pm... she was sleepy and just checkin' what time i am coming home... kesian dia…

joey's birthday dinner

PC came over to the house to take us out for dinner, 3rd Jan 2007 nite.. to celebrate joey's 7th birthday. that was sweet of him to have the thot. :) ye laa... ye laa... koghang sure boring.. when it comes to my PC sumernya sweet...LOL...:D hahaha... relak lah kay... dah memang iyer, nak buat camner :P. well anyway, i fetched joelis around 545pm that day, first day of school so kena la awal sket takut joey lari kemana-mana :D so, my elder sis and i waited in front of our kids' class. got home, took a shower and relax kejap tunggu maghrib. joelis jemaah with my dad in the prayer room downstairs while i got ready upstairs. by 8pm received an sms from my PC letting us know that he is leaving his place.. by then we are all ready.. arrived at the restaurant around after 830pm. joelis were hungry.. :D ye laa biasa they have dinner around 630pm - 700pm. they shared carbonara, PC had mee hoon cantonese and i had kuey tiow cantonese. surprisingly, my joelis were really sporting that ni…

you're just too good to be true...

cant take my eyes off you ~ Lauryn Hill

you're just too good to be true.
can't take my eyes off you.
you'd be like heaven to touch.
i wanna hold you so much.
at long last love has arrived.
and i thank God i'm alive.
you're just too good to be true.
can't take my eyes off you.

pardon the way that i stare.
there's nothing else to compare.
the sight of you leaves me weak.
there are no words left to speak.
but if you feel like i feel.
please let me know that it's real.
you're just too good to be true.
can't take my eyes off you.

i need you baby, and if it's quite all right
i need you baby to warm a lonely night.
i love you baby trust in me when i say ok:
oh pretty baby, don't let me down i pray.
oh pretty baby, now that i found you, stay.
and let me love you,
oh baby let me love you, oh baby....

you're just too good to be true.
can't take my eyes off you.
you'd be like heaven to touch.
i wanna hold you so much.
at long last love has arrived.
and i thank god …

some pictures..

okay guys... here are some pictures that i owe.. :)
pictures during AZ'z birthday party at Gita Bayu...








joey's 1st day in school: he kinda left me... and wanted to be his friends during recess. i couldnt catch up with him. went round the canteen 3 times, couldnt find him... decided to go towards his class. met my fren and she told me that joey was looking for me, and was crying.. hehehe :D ingatkan cool mamat tu.... cry jugak...hahaha :D hehehe... nasib baik lisa ada... lisa was also looking for him but tak jumpa. at last found him seated with my elder sis.








gabra...

i was kinda kalut the nite before.. been keeping things in my head. till i can no longer bear it. i brokedown. did some stupid things.. well, anyway decided to really talked it out... yea... me being me... i will cry..in fact have been crying pun... felt tired i guess... or my head is tired..of keeping it all to myself. :( smsed my PC.. and managed to sort some things out with him.. heh..heh..:D felt a bit ackward actually... entah lah, maybe because we have been friends.. so the switching part from my side made me a bit... ngok ngek segan.. whatever.. sumer ada lah..hahahaha.. okay after this... apa-apa pun i will ask... so, thats it lah... hahaha.. apa-apa pun right now i really miss him..boleh? :D :P

okay...okay...enuf being mushy... :P.. today..joey's first day.. std 1. :D i am home right now after sending him to school. he was doing okay. muka nampak boring lah... but other than that, he's 1 cool dude! ;-) that's my son. lisa as usual, tak boleh lewat sket... mula lah …

welcome 2007

happy birthday joey... :) joey's turning 7 today. and its gonna be his first day in school. yeup.. i am on leave today to accompany him... he is nervous... oopss.. joey is up.. got to go... cont later... ;)

p/s: my dear PC.... i'm glad we had the talk..:)

its new year

felt lonely without my PC. wished he was with me, for new year eve, but tak pe la.. he has got prior arrangement. wished i was really okay with it, but the fact that i am not... makes me feel bluuechhh... :( the thing is, i am not the person who celebrates new year or go out on new year's eve... the last time i went out for new year's eve was wayyyyyy back in 2002 or was it 1998/1999 when i just got back from States. last nite was out with my youngest sister and cousin to meet up with friends at HR. had quite a good time. but of course.. if only my PC was around.. bla..bla..bla.. ahhh..

well anyway, he came to the house for lunch, commented on my cooking..:( and then we took the kids out to Petsworld just to test if joelis can really handle hamsters. i know i cant.. hehehe... geli laa.. too lembik :D then, we had a drink at starbucks, with joelis eating 1901 hotdogs. :D was proud of my PC... he was really cool with joelis. joelis got kinda excited going out with my PC. joey sel…