tak ada logica

Agnes Monica – Tak ada Logika

Bukannya aku tak tahu
Kau sudah ada yang punya
Atau bisikan cinta
Ku tahu engkau berdusta

Namun ku tak mau mengerti
Selama kau masih bersamaku
Karna ku suka
Ku butuh cinta yang pernah hilang dariku

Cinta ini kadang-kadang tak ada logika
Ilusi sebuah hasrat dalam hati
Ku hanya ingin dapat memiliki
Dirimu hanya untuk sesaat

Bukannya aku tak tahu
Kau sudah ada yang punya
Karna telah kau bisikkan cintamu padaku
Ku tahu engkau berdusta aaaaa

Cinta ini kadang-kadang tak ada logika
Ilusi sebuah hasrat dalam hati
Ku hanya ingin dapat memiliki
Dirimu hanya untuk sesaat

i tend to listen to songs and relate the lyrics to my own life. so i guess, this is my life so far. i had been crying yesterday, last nite and this morning on the way to work. i cried while listening to this song. its already above being sad. its like, you know, you have feelings towards someone but you know you cant have him. over time, the feelings will go away, but the nice things that once happened between both of you will keep on haunting. does that mean, i havent gone thru the 'closure'? but how do i do that?

i was at a friend's house this morning. his wife passed away. while i was reciting the yassin, i will look at him. i looked at his children. and my thot was... 'how lucky she was, to have a husband who loves her till she dies' and i cried while thinking of that. another thot came...'at least when she dies, she knows that her children will be well taken care of by a loving father'... and i started to think of myself. if i die, whats gonna happen to my joelis? and i cried again... another thot came... 'but, what about having a husband to stay on in a marriage, but living in denial...that actually there is no more feelings towards each other, and staying on for the sake of children?' naahhhh... i am not in that situation and wish not to be in that situation. however, there are couples out there who are like that. some people might get offended with what i write, (sorry, dont mean to be blunt in my writing but i write abt reality or simply my own thots). the truth hurts. you know, i hope, i will have time to tell my joelis if they are going to lose me one day. i want them to be prepared... be strong. they have always been. lisa especially. joey is still very young to realise things thats happening around him. they both have gone thru a lot. i have too.. but i just feel so %$#^ed up when people give me false hope. $#@%! yeup... thats how i feel right now. and its also like, i know i am still frustrated about something but i have not really cried it all out!? you get what i mean or not.. so, it's those little things, will just make me cry again.. and until i can really cry it all out... it will be comin back.

Comments

usgirl said…
who's the guy? daddy or hmm.. hmmm..
jawe said…
it does not matter who the person is darling... it's the action. it does happen in todays world. some people are forced to be in a situation where they do not wish to be in. so, at the end of the day, it is your ownself has to make a decision, what you want to do in life, and try the very best not to hurt the people you love. :)
gunduts said…
also remember that in chasing for happiness, we can sometimes be blinded with false hope and this can really 'hurt' us... make a decision that doesnt hurt u most importantly... a person that loves u wont have the heart to hurt u.... no matter what his reason is...

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