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Showing posts from September, 2006
i missed him, but,
he made me cry again
with his accusations, harsh words
anger that he should be pointing them out to someone else
havent i had enough misery
a person who just need to let out
and i became the victim?
i became the target
and why did i let this happen
why do i stick with this
why do i have to endure
i do not have to
but its my choice
*sigh*... and its happening again
tis not the 1st time
and i guess it'll not end

things have changed

was at bsc during lunch today. just got to get out of the office. havent been to bsc for quite some time. a lot of promotions for raya and deepavali. my fren went for her groceries, i walked around and meet up with my 2 other friends who opened up a booth there during ramadhan. saw azwan ali.. heh..heh.. i saw a booth with swarovski.. (is that how they spell it) but was shy to stopby even to take a look at it. i know that things have changed for me. i no longer go shopping in that area. so i just went off straight to my friends' booth. stayed there for about 10 minutes and went up to guardian and bought the hair gel that joey asked for. :D yeup, he asked for hair gel and he is 6 years old. :D anyway, done with groceries, meet up with my fren and she accompanied to the swarovski booth.. yey! hemm.. not so bad la the price, affordable. :) i have been so afraid of buying things nowadays coz i have to make sure that whatever i have is enough till end of the month for me and my kids. i…

gemalaisari dance group

:) i received an sms yesterday from someone who asked how much do i charge for wedding shows. it has been quite sometime since the last show that we had. yeup, the last was at jw marriot hotel. it was a success. my free lance dancers are still active, just that i do not have time to look for business. well, now that i am single again, i guess, why not? :D and it struck into my mind to rearrange our dance group website. and as i was driving to work today, that was what on my mind, thinking of what to do next. :)

have u watched 'numbers - axn'

if u have, what do u think of that series? i thot it was something like csi. i couldnt sleep last nite. well actually i slept right after maghrib, dont feel well, had slight fever. but a few friends sort of plan a meet up after terawikh. so, i got up around 930pm and call up ali. unfortunately, ali was tired after coming back from buka with her family. so, okay lah... i was quite unstable myself. decided not to go. so, there were only the guys. bad thing about it, i couldnt sleep. watched samarinda with my mom. okay la... liked eja. :) until around 11pm. so later changed to axn and tried to watched 'numbers'.. conclusion... boring nak mampus.. but dunno why i stayed till the end of the story. :D they are so lembab.. using maths kunun to solve the problem.. i dunno, i just dont see the 'kedahsyatan' of the officers.. hehe.. okay la, better stop now. before i merapu.

selamat berpuasa guys... :)

aku hanyalah hambaMu yang amat lemah

numb is the word. i dont know or perhaps i dont feel anything. work is frustrating. felt unappreciated. something needs to be done. i am feeding 2 + 1 mouths single handed. cannot depend on others to live. i may not dare to jump to another organization but if things do not change and not on my side, i will have to do it. meanwhile, God, please help me to retain my performance or at least make me happy to be where i am right now. please forgive me for not remembering You enough that i am facing all these challenges, one after another.

karma - what goes around comes around. :) we will wait and see. pray for the best! you are making the same mistake, human! sesungguhnya Tuhan akan sentiasa di sisi hambaNya yang benar. Ya Allah ya Tuhanku... please give me the strength to be on the right path, amend my mistakes, jauhi yang Engkau mungkari. aku hanyalah hambaMu yang amat lemah.

Bingkisan Doa

Ya Allah...
Seandainya telah engkau catatkan....
Dia milikku tercipta buatku....
Satukanlah hatinya denga…

things that we cant stop... when from a friendship, it leads to something more than that. right now, i am sad that it has somehow affected our friendship. am not saying that he has always been there for me, but he is someone that i can rely on. i have been thinking that at times, when we are nice to some people, that does not mean that it should lead to something more than friendship. there are things that we need to understand that sudah lumrahnya, it will only remain friends. it is sad but that's how it is. whatever it is, i am still open to Allah swt's decision. what plans that He has for me.

btw, as i was driving to office this morning, saw someone that made me smile... someone that i dont know, but he made me smile... and made me believe that i still have hope :)

right now, i miss joelis... so very much..

been busy at work..and been neglecting my blog :D... i have a few posts saved as draft. will publish them once i manage to find time..till we meet again.

mati itu adalah benar...

sat, 16th sept 2006. i do not have any plan except to attend joey's concert on sunday. slept really early friday nite. was feeling extra tired. was already awake just before 7am but when my mom entered the room i was shocked. my close friend's father who is also our neighbour passed away. innalilahiwainnalilahirajiun... rushed for a quick shower, walked over to his house with my mom. recite yassin and stayed for a while. it was too fast. he was okay that day, went for friday prayers and then to carefour. i was thinking of my own parents. will i be prepared if i were to lose any of them? not at the moment, no! will i ever be ready? i guess the answer would be, no one will ever be ready for such event. hence, after visiting, i decided to drive my parents to kampong that day coz i want to be with them, whenever i can. :) persuaded joelis to come with us. we cleaned the graveyards of my grandparents. joelis seems to get new experience. :) they took turn putting the flowers and …

what the...

ihik..ihik... like i can type out what i really wanna say la kan.. :D i am not gonna say it has been a busy week, day or whatever... coz, it has been busy.. cuma different, new things happened along the way. mcm siol je cakap kan. naahhh the thing is i am so frustrated that someone who is a genius can be so ^$%#%$ stupid when it comes to understanding his own children's welfare. huh.. i do not plan to get into details, coz i am tired even to think about him... nevertheless, i am watching him getting eaten up by his own guilt! hahaha...

free trip..yey! 6th Sept 2006 - 8th Sept 2006

taken from my old blog... was originally posted on 9th Sept 2006.

1st day: i was in pulau redang last wednesday and stayed at laguna redang island resort. best!! loved it. love the place, the people, surrounding, almost everything about the place except it was really really hot!! my 1st experience going snorkelling. :) got up at 5.50am on wednesday, supposed to catch the 6.30am lrt. but couldnt make it on time :D. got into a cab instead and went straight to the meeting point. we got into 2 cabs to subang airport. it was quite a smooth flight. i fell asleep. arrived at pulau redang airport at around 10.30am. got into a van, went to the jetty for the boat to the resort.. took us about 15 minutes ride. arrived at the resort, went in for a short briefing, with welcome drink later, and we checked in. it was too late for breakfast and we had 1 hour before lunch. so since our room is not ready, we were at one of our friend's room. and i brought sardine curry puffs! yey! we had curry puffs…